Why Are We So Upset About Gabby Petito?
We didn’t even know her, but we’re devastated.
It’s not just because she’s White. I won’t deny that it played a role. We all know that Whiteness is the baseline in America for being a real American. That’s just the way it is. I do think it’s getting better incrementally-but it’s still a factor. And she was cute, with a beautiful smile. But it was a deeper, more guttural feeling of horror that has spread throughout the community on her behalf.
This is why it leads on many of the news channels.
However, thousands of pretty people are murdered every year in America. It hurts to say it; it’s awful, actually, but it’s true.
But here is where it differs.
Millions of us got to see Gabby in person, at least on camera. Did you see her in that loop that plays over and over on all the news channels, crying…what emotion is that? Sadness? Fear? Terror? Now, after the fact, it’s still hard to tell.
We heard her voice.
Maybe that’s why we were so invested in her disappearance. Perhaps this is a tip for families of people who are missing. Let the public see them walking and talking on video. It’s kind of macabre marketing, but if it works and they’re found quickly, who cares?
When she cried, I could see how she probably looked like when she was three, only then, mommy or daddy would pick her up and tell her everything was going to be OK. But in this case, it wasn’t. Nobody was on her side. She was all alone. And she knew it.
And that, I think, is what strikes most of us in our gut. We watched the police officers display the same attitude they get when they get together with men they identify with…it’s like they’re all raised by the same woman and played on the same football team in high school.
One officer, in particular, goes through the entire arrest scenario…explaining to his new friend, Brian, what could happen to this woman.
Look at the cray-cray girl! You have scratches on you! No, he didn’t say these exact words, but we know what he meant.
She’s mentally ill!
Later, two other factors came out; the first of which was fully known to the police officers (but not to us) at this time:
- The 911 caller reported that the “gentleman” was hitting the woman.
- It seems that Brian Laundrie has some mental illness himself.
Of course. The police ate that up, didn’t they? They were schooled by a high school graduate who not only diagnosed his girlfriend’s psychiatric state but also his own.
He probably did his research.
They wanted to charge her.
Early news reports stated that the police almost charged 22-year-old Gabby with assault. Between the three or four men, including Brian, they reversed a 911 report in broad daylight! They were overly friendly to Brian Laundrie because he was a man and THIS — combined with poor judgment — allowed them to apply sexist stereotypes, which caused them to blame the victim. They were in a huddle, talking to him like he was the sane one.
The only reason they didn’t charge Gabby is that Brian didn’t want them to. He had so much power…
The police spent so much time with Brian that if this was an NFL game, one could say that the referee (police) made sure he kept possession of the ball.
Look at this confusing paragraph:
Was that a misunderstanding? Or just a plain, old-fashioned lie?
Gaslighting galore
Do you know where the word gaslight comes from? It was the title of a 1944 Alfred Hitchcock movie. Here’s the plot: A man tries to make his wife look crazy…until she believes it herself.
To gaslight: the act of undermining another person’s reality by denying facts, the environment around them, or their feelings
Isn’t that what we all just saw?
We all now know that Gabby is dead. This makes this Youtube video difficult to watch. But we should, for Gabby’s sake.
In this timeline, who really was the victim? It’s chilling, too, to recognize that she had very little time left…
But let's go even deeper
Look, let’s just get it all out there.
Gabby saved to buy the van.
Gabby outfitted the van.
It was Gabby’s blog.
GabsPetito Instagram built up an audience of 400,000 people! This was before she was murdered.
Gabby, Gabby, Gabby.
She was moving ahead in this life, who knows where, and he couldn’t keep up.
Her Instagram account now has one million views.
Yes, the attached video says Gabby & Brian. But it was her.
It was beautifully done. I don’t know how many views it had before this, but it now has over 4.6 million. She was only 22 years old. She was like a sponge, soaking up all that life had to offer. She was going to try things, new creative things, and the potential for something, maybe even something great, was there. And he knew it.
As for us? We watched her frolic on the beach. Young love. Young life. Young freedom. Most of us are landlocked, frozen in our homes and our careers. We may have worked hard to get what we have, but still. Do you remember what that was like — to be free if only for a moment?
Was she going to leave him?
Eventually. Probably.
Did he know it?
The parents are unfathomable.
I understand family loyalty like anyone else, but this is ridiculous. Let’s make this an exercise: Your son comes home early from a four-month VANLIFE trip in his fiance’s van, without her (she lived with you) and you do…nothing?
What did he tell his parents? She hit me? I left her by the side of the road? It was an accident? She fell? I didn’t mean to hit her so hard?
He reportedly was already hitting her in the van. Do you know what? Those callers were the biggest heroes in this entire unholy mess.
The FBI Academy teaches new agents that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. — Robert Kessler
Did he do that when he was three?
Then Brian Laundrie, the only person with the answers, gets a three to four-day head start to run. He went hiking. Right. And for days, the officers wouldn’t even call him a person of interest. He was “missing.” It was as if some aliens picked the poor sucker up and put him in some kind of spaceship. I, along with millions, was watching this in disbelief.
I’ve watched people bought in for questioning over much, much less. They put them in jail for walking with headphones and ice tea! And an alleged fake $20? It’s all over…
But Brian didn’t want to talk. So, um, he didn’t have to…
We saw ourselves in Gabby Petito. We’ve all known Gabbys throughout our lives; the ones who are talked down to, yelled at, slapped, and punched. We flinched when we saw it, and we didn’t know what to do.
We’ve seen them cry even when it wasn’t their fault until they’re convinced it must be. Otherwise, why would he act that way?
I know what to do now. The next time I see an injustice, I’m going to follow it up. I’m not going to trust the process. This one failed.
Because in real-time, we saw what happens when nothing is done.
UPDATE 10/12/2021: