How to Turn the World Upside Down

Summary

The author humorously describes their inherited inability to follow instructions, leading to a talent for creating chaos and confusion in assembling items, much like their father.

Abstract

The article titled "STOP MAKING SENSE: How to Turn the World Upside Down" is a humorous personal narrative about the author's struggle with an undiagnosed learning disability that prevents them from understanding instructions, a trait they share with their father. The author recounts childhood memories of watching their father attempt to assemble items without proper guidance, often resulting in leftover pieces. This upbringing has led the author to adopt a similar, albeit unconventional, approach to assembly tasks, such as putting together exercise equipment upside down and backwards. Despite attempts to compensate for this deficiency with detailed labeling and diagrams, the author acknowledges their innate talent for disarray, suggesting they could even be employed to dismantle foreign governments with their unique skill set.

Opinions

The author views their inability to follow instructions as an inherited trait, comparing it to a missing piece in their cognitive makeup.
There is a sense of nostalgia and endearment in the author's recollection of their father's approach to assembly, despite its impracticality.
The author initially believed that extra pieces in assembly kits were a generous gesture, not realizing they were intended for proper assembly.
The author's spouse seems perplexed by the author's assembly methods, highlighting the stark contrast between their approaches.
The author humorously suggests that their talent for confusion could be put to use in dismantling structures or governments, implying a satirical take on their lack of assembly skills.
Despite attempts to organize and label parts for assembly, the author admits that their methods often lead to more confusion, embracing their natural tendency towards chaos.

Read the instructions wrong

I recollect watching my father read instructions when I was growing up. I inherited his undiagnosed learning disability, which renders me incapable of reading instructions. I’d watch dad turn the instructions upside down, fold and refold them, squint at them, and finally toss them aside.

After that, I’d watch him pick up various nails, washers, and bolts and intuitively insert them into random holes. There were always extra pieces.

“Look at that!” Dad would say gleefully. “They sent us extra pieces in case anything broke.” At the time, I thought that was very generous. Looking back, I realize they sent extra pieces in case we wanted to build the piece of equipment or furniture properly.

I am wired like my father. You might say we are missing the extra pieces to know where the additional pieces go. I recently put together a piece of exercise equipment that my husband later reverse engineered and then asked, “How did you manage to put the pieces upside down and backwards?” He wasn’t embellishing.

“It’s in my DNA,” I told him, but his was a rhetorical question. He didn’t know my dad long before dad died, but he had seen my mother kick inanimate objects to get them working.

We had a relative visit us once who tried to fix our plumbing while we were asleep. When we called the plumber to repair their handy work, the plumber was confounded as to where the relative had hidden the missing pieces of our sink.

I overcompensate now because of this deficiency. I label screws and put them in Ziplocs with lengthy explanations about what they are and where they go. I draw pictures. I make diagrams. By the end, my explanations are more confusing than losing the screws. I can turn anything into chaos.

I feel like the government should hire me to dismantle foreign governments. I feel like I possess an untapped gift. I could disassemble a building more effectively than a wrecking ball. I wish dad were alive to see that I know what our gift is for. It is not about putting things together. It is about putting them together backwards and upside down.