Why anger and aggression are useful in working with trauma.

In this article I would like to look at why anger and aggression are therapeutic. How they help get rid of shame, guilt, fear, despair. I will talk about aggression that is aimed at satisfying one’s needs or defending boundaries, self-defense, a way to achieve a goal, and not about aggression aimed at destroying or harming someone. Anger is a feeling of intense irritation and hostility directed at a specific object or situation. This feeling may arise as a reaction to a situation that prevents the satisfaction of a need, including due to physical or psychological trauma. The essence of this aggression lies in the experience of negative emotions, which can be reinforced by childhood traumas about possible humiliation or neglect of your feelings, lack of love or care. Emotions such as shame, guilt, fear, powerlessness, despair can haunt you throughout your life. I believe that a person who has experienced the trauma of harsh treatment by parents in childhood must restore his instinctive anger in order to prevent a repetition of such treatment towards himself. How can aggression have a positive impact on your life? When you experience past trauma, especially those related to self-loathing, mentally becoming angry at the inner critic allows you to restore the lost instinct of self-protection. Also, if you know who is hiding behind the inner critic, you can direct your anger personally to this person. This way, you redirect the negativity to where it came from, without draining all this toxicity onto yourself. The expression of this emotion allows you to: — escape from toxic shame — get rid of neurotic guilt — strengthen motivation, continue the fight for personal boundaries — protect yourself from unnecessary criticism in your direction — escape from a childish feeling of powerlessness, in a state of emotional regression — weaken or eliminate horror — correct and replace the thoughts that are necessary to gain confidence in one’s own worth and attractiveness The process of working with aggression: Working with anger can be done in private, for example, using techniques (Letter to the offender; Visualization of the offender and expressing aggression towards him, etc.) . But if this is a new experience for you, then it is better to do the work with a psychologist. Aggression awakens the instinct of self-preservation, and in the process of work it increasingly creates a sense of personal boundaries. And as we all know very well, personal boundaries provide us with safety from the aggression of others and the internal critic. Anger fuels confidence over a long period of time, which ultimately leads to a friendly attitude towards oneself and others. Anyone who has experienced the trauma of harsh parental treatment in childhood must restore their instinctive anger in order to prevent a repetition of such treatment.

In adult life, without working through the trauma, we can be subjected to sexual harassment, psychological violence, physical violence, manipulation, use, neglect by trusted persons. For example, your boss will humiliate you at work because you were humiliated and suppressed by your parents as a child. You simply don’t know what to do, how to resist, leave this job, or this may be the “norm” for you. For example, I had an oppressive mother, she often humiliated me, beat me as a child, and when I entered into relationships with girls, I encountered insults and humiliation from them, perceiving this as the norm and experiencing terrible toxic shame for myself that I really was like that . You will be exploited at will until you are unable to resist. Don’t confuse outbursts of anger and accompanying feelings of shame, directed inwards, as a way of confrontation. Lost in emotional regressions, you will not be able to protest and resist, which is why you need to work with a specialist and work can begin at any time. As you work, you will be immersed in the grieving process. After a certain period of work, you will begin to feel changes for the better, you will be able to set personal boundaries and say “no” to people, no longer exposing yourself to violence from those around you.