Why Am I Here? And I Don’t Mean In An Existential Way

Summary

Charles French, a humor writer, has been invited to contribute to the publication Illumination by its founder, Dr. Mehmet Yildiz, and reflects on his irreverent style and the surprising number of toilet paper images on Pexels.

Abstract

Charles French, known for his juvenile and irreverent humor, was extended an invitation by Dr. Mehmet Yildiz to join his publication, Illumination. French humorously ponders the suitability of his writing style for the publication and playfully interacts with the formal tone of Dr. Yildiz's invitation. Despite his initial uncertainty about the fit, he expresses genuine admiration for Dr. Yildiz's intellect and the welcoming nature of the invitation. The article takes a humorous turn as French recounts counting 95 images of toilet paper on Pexels, a detail that, while seemingly unrelated, encapsulates the quirky nature of his writing.

Opinions

French expresses a mix of respect and comedic confusion regarding Dr. Yildiz's sophisticated language and the concept of "curating" articles.
He questions the suitability of his own humorously irreverent writing style for Illumination, a publication that seems to have a more serious and intellectual tone.
French is pleasantly surprised and flattered by the personalized and encouraging nature of Dr. Yildiz's invitation, particularly the notion that he might "shine" within the new community.
He good-naturedly pokes fun at the formal language used in professional invitations, contrasting it with his own conversational and humorous style.
The act of counting toilet paper images on Pexels is used as a comedic device to illustrate the randomness and curiosity that characterizes his writing process and content.

I’m just a writer of irreverent and juvenile humor

Photo by Bich Tran via Pexels Free Images

Yesterday, I received a note on one of my stories from Dr. Mehmet Yildiz inviting me to join his new Publication, Illumination, as a writer. My first response, and my reply to his note was, “Absolutely, thank you! My humor is a bit irreverent, tho. Will that work with your pub?”

Now, normally, I would exaggerate, or embellish, what my response was to his invitation with something I found funny. Something like, “I’m sorry. The writer you have reached has been disconnected mentally by your invitation. Please recheck the story you are reading and confirm your invitation. By the way, have you READ the stuff I write/wrote (I can’t figure out which is correct, sorry).”

But I couldn’t because, well, the evidence is in writing.

Of course, I didn’t get a response to my question. Why “Of course?” I don’t know. It sounded good at the beginning of the sentence.

But I think it’s because of the type of guy I think Dr. Mehmet Yildiz is. By the way, can I call you “Meh?” Or would you prefer “Doc?” Or something more formal?

No, sorry. Something about this guy says he deserves to be called Dr. Yildiz. I mean, I’ve read some of his stuff and he seems really smart to me. He uses phrases like,

We curate outstanding articles from diverse domains & disciplines to create fusion and synergy with serendipity.

I’ll be honest with you. The only word I even remotely understood in there was, “We.”

“Curate” might have been an option but, since Medium has never curated one of my stories, I still don’t know what that means.

Not only that, but look how NICE his invitation was,

Hi Charles. Hope you are well in these difficult times. I am wondering whether you would be interested in submitting some of your articles to ILLUMINATION. You may shine in this new community. If you are interested I can provide with you writer access. . .

OMG, he said I might “shine” in this new community! No one has ever said I might “shine” before. . .well, except for the defense contractor I work for when, during orientation, my boss said, “Don’t ever open this door. You might glow for half a million years.” So, he kinda said I might “shine.”

Seriously, Dr. Yildiz (and this might be the last time I am ever seriously serious), if the invitation still stands, I accept.

Oh, you might be asking, if you read my (what’s that thing called above the title? Oh, yeah. . .) kicker, “What the hell does toilet paper have to do with this article?”

Well, nothing. Except, while I was looking for an image to use, I decided to search for toilet paper, you know, due to the hoarding going on. Well, I stopped counting at 95 images.

Yes, I actually spent time counting images of toilet paper on Pexels.

Welcome to my writing.

How many pictures of toilet paper can Pexels hold?

Why Am I Here? And I Don’t Mean In An Existential Way

I’m just a writer of irreverent and juvenile humor