Why am I gluten-free…

…when no one’s told me to be?

The answer, my curious friend, is “years of horrific pain”.

I finally stopped eating gluten in June 2022. At the age of 51, and after around 15 years of cutting out bread for brief, sporadic periods, I’d had enough. I enjoyed baked food so much that I’d done my best to avoid the truth.

But, in the end, I just couldn’t take it anymore.

Man does not live by bread alone

My mother was a well-thought-of local baker.

Not professionally, although she easily could have been. Her marvellous munchables were distributed amongst family, friends, and the community at large during fêtes and fairs. As a family with somewhat limited resources, we found it much cheaper to make our own food, rather than paying someone else to do it for us.

I was raised, like a good homemade loaf, on yeast and flour.

But, during my late thirties, I realised that all was not as it should be.

I’d suffered from headaches all my life, but they seemed to be getting worse. As an increasingly busy professional, I was experiencing post-lunch brain fog to such an extent that it became a concern. After eating dinner, I would sit, bloated, saying to myself, or often aloud, “No one should feel this much pain after simply eating.”

By the time I was 50, it felt like it was after almost every meal.

Dr. Google will see you now

We all do it, don’t we?

Ever since the days of the freely-available family medical encyclopaedia, we have self-diagnosed. A close friend of mine is a celiac. I used to chat to her about my symptoms, and she kept suggesting that I might have a problem with gluten. At the time, I thought she just wanted someone to share the pain with, but it began to dawn on me that she might have a point. I started to do a little research, poking around the internet to see what I could find.

I started with, “Why do I feel bloating and pain after eating bread?”

I found that a lot of people seemed to be asking exactly the same question.

Three threats

My searching repeatedly threw up three separate conditions:

• Wheat allergy
• Celiac disease
• Non-celiac gluten sensitivity disorder

Let’s take a look at them in turn.

Wheat allergy

At first, reluctant to accept that I might have a problem with gluten more generally, I wondered whether I had an allergy to wheat alone.

I was already more than aware of my allergy to pollen, having been a hay fever sufferer since my early years. I also seem to have a problem with tuna which, according to my research in that area, can develop high levels of histamine, depending upon how it’s stored. So, was I allergic to wheat too?

It seems unlikely.

I found that wheat allergy is more usually found in the young.

Not exhaustive evidence in its own right. But I also discovered that I had not been suffering from some of the more common symptoms. These include hives and rashes, nausea and breathing problems.

It didn’t seem to fit.

Celiac disease

A condition suffered by only a small fraction of the human population — it is thought between one and four percent.

The USA’s National Celiac Association lists the following symptoms:

• Abdominal cramping
• Amenorrhea
• Anemia
• Bloating/distention
• Brain fog/inability to concentrate
• Canker sores
• Constipation
• Dental abnormalities
• Diarrhea
• Edema/swelling
• Electrolyte imbalance
• Elevated liver enzymes
• Fatigue
• Headaches
• Infertility/miscarriage
• Osteopenia/ osteoporosis
• Pain in bones and joints
• Peripheral neuropathy
• Rash (see dermatitis herpetiformis)
• Stool abnormalities
• Vitamin and mineral deficiencies
• Vomiting
• Weight loss or gain

Quite the collection. And whilst some of it does ring true for me, again, I can’t lay claim to experiencing the full catalogue. My previously-mentioned diagnosed friend suffers with most of the above list, and she might have chosen not to talk about some of the other items.

Without a test, I’ll never know myself but, again, it doesn’t quite match up to my experience.

Non-celiac gluten sensitivity disorder

And so we come to it.

Trust me to be considering the one whose very existence medical science is yet to agree upon. It’s perhaps wishful thinking that has led me to this point. I don’t want to be faced with the idea that I might have the potentially deadly celiac condition. I don’t even want to take the tests for it, as it seems you need to “go back on the gluten” in order for them to be accurate. I don’t think I can face it.

There is no test for NCGS, but the symptoms listed by Beyond Celiac seem a better fit for me:

• Bloating or gas
• Diarrhea or constipation
• Nausea
• Headache
• Brain fog
• Joint pain
• Neuropathy
• Fatigue
• Abdominal pain
• Depression

Alright, there are a couple I wouldn’t have mentioned myself, but that does tie in more closely with my own experience.

So I sliced the bread…right out of my life

Eighteen months ago, I called it done.

The odd experiment aside, I have cut out all wheat, barley and rye. This means no pearl barley in our regular stew meals. It means I have to choose which vinegars to buy. As a Brit, perhaps most devastatingly, my visits to fish and chip shops rarely result in anything other than chips and peas, whilst the family enjoys battered fish, pies, puddings. (Oh! Steak and Kidney Pudding, how I miss thee…)

Trips to the supermarket are also a more limited, yet, weirdly, more expensive, experience.

Everyone grabs their favourite breads, biscuits, cakes and so on. I stand, gazing at the fine print on packaging for items as seemingly innocent as soup or chocolate. Either that, or I can be found weeping in the “Free From” aisle, wondering why “normal” cookies cost £1.00 for twenty, and mine are £2.00 for five.

An outing to a restaurant brings mixed feelings too.

We know a few local ones that cater well to the gluten-free customer. But the look of abject fear on the face of waiting staff when I answer the lightly-quipped “Any food allergies?” question is quite something when we visit a new place. It seems to cause so many problems that my stock answer has become, “Nothing we can’t handle!” and I then try to figure things out for myself.

Steak and chips is usually alright.

So, here I am.

(Un)officially gluten-free, but also completely free of the distress I was working with. I’ve tried just a couple of experimental nibbles, and also fallen foul of a few genuine accidents. The results of both seem to indicate that I’m on the right track.

I can’t say whether my approach would suit anyone else. I’m not a doctor or medical professional of any kind. I’m not offering any advice.

But I smile as I wave “goodbye” to The Pain of Le Pain.

— — — — — — — —

Hi, I’m Mark.

I’m a writer from the UK who loves exploring life in this marvellous universe and sharing what I find.

Thanks for spending your time with me today.

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