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Abstract

re so many more nuances to take into consideration.</p><p id="f1d1">For example, what does it take to drink more water? In my case, it was buying a beautiful glass jug, floating some colourful limes and lemons inside and keeping it in my eye-line. Managing expenses, or figuring out why you can’t shake the extra kilos? A few taps on a finance or calorie-counting app does the trick for me. Ok, it is a bit tedious but this kind of adjustment isn’t exactly hard. All you need is a reminder mechanism so that it becomes as automatic as brushing teeth.</p><p id="eb07">It’s a different story if you have been a night owl all of your life and after reading Hal Elrod’s book ‘The Miracle Morning’ (which is a great book by the way), decide to wake up at 5 am and do everything from silence practice to exercise to affirmations to reading. This is a pretty steep change which is causing a tectonic shift in your settled/wired behaviour patterns. For me personally, the most difficult habit change that literally dragged on for ages was quitting smoking — it took closer to 21 years than 21 days, with very many failed attempts in between.</p><h2 id="b45e">Design your life around habits you want to build</h2><p id="b2aa">If you worry that you simply “don’t have time” to adapt your routine, it’s worth remembering that sometimes building new habits is less about time and more about how you design your environment.</p><p id="cd89">If a mat is the first thing you see in the morning, you will be much more likely to do the exercise; if you leave a book on the bed you are much more likely to read before you go to sleep; and if the first thing you open on your phone is an expense or weight-control app, you are much more likely to track it throughout the day.</p><h2 id="efac">Look inside. How strong is your ‘why’?</h2><p id="6020">Psychiatrist Viktor E. Frankl, author of ‘Man’s Search For Meaning’, writes that having a strong sense of purpose was his psychological lifeline while imprisoned in a concentration camp. He said, “Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.” Of course, many of us face far milder challenges, but what this shows is that the strength of the ‘why’ will ultimately decide how long (if at all) you stick with any habit.</p><p id="17c1">You will have a much better chance if you do it for yourself, not for

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your friends, and if you’re not just jumping on the latest trendy wave or looking for something to post on social media.</p><p id="7c6d">Your new habits are much more likely to stick if they are a reflection of the new person you are aiming to be tomorrow. Be it someone who starts to care about nutrition and health, be it a contributor to re-wilding rather than extending cattle farmlands, be it a thinker who reads and learns instead of binging on Netflix, or an entrepreneur willing to take the risk and build something instead of being a cog in a big machine.</p><blockquote id="a635"><p>Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’ — Viktor E. Frankl</p></blockquote><h2 id="925a">Everyone fails. Every single day. You are not the only one</h2><p id="dfb6">So, when do we draw a line and say we’ve “succeeded” in cultivating a new habit? I’d say never. I’m sure this isn’t exactly what you wanted to hear. But fortunately or unfortunately, life is a journey, not a destination. Everyone fails constantly, even with the best intentions, but as long as there is direction, there is not much to regret and much more to be proud of.</p><p id="4428">For a long time, I ran every day and now; now, it has been a looong time since I picked up the running shoes. I could blame the weather; I could say it’s because I’m now doing yoga on a regular basis instead. The reality is I could easily have gone for a 10 minute run every single day. Not feeling great about it but, well, it is what it is. I know I am not a ‘Miss Perfect’ and will get back to running sooner or later. And I also know that I have continued doing another million things every day though like reading, writing, drinking loads of water, meditation, building up new really valuable work habits.</p><h2 id="1271">21 is a good number to build a muscle</h2><p id="dcdc">Ultimately, 21 is just a nice and ‘doable’ number for the crowds. It is certainly enough to build a habit of ‘muscle memory’ — to remember that today is the day to exercise, job search, meditate, make your bed, whatever it is you’d like to be part of this better version of yourself. It is not that hard to do something for 21 days in a row. What is really hard is to stick to it for a year or two and ultimately make it an integral part of one’s life. Hard — but not impossible.</p></article></body>

Why “21 Day Habits” Make No Sense

When building habits, look deeper than the numbers

We would all love to believe that 21 days is all it takes to build a new habit that will somehow transform us, making us healthier, richer or more fulfilled. Especially when every second article you read online, claims it.

Over the years, I have tried to befriend many new habits: with some I became inseparable, while others left me without so much as a backwards glance. Needless to say, I’ve learned my fair share of lessons along the way — so here, I wanted to share my tips for turning habits from fleeting acquaintances to longstanding companions.

Where does 21 day concept come from

In the 1950s, a plastic surgeon by the name of Dr. Maxwell Maltz was carrying out a study on self-image. He found that it would take his patients about 21 days to get used to seeing their new face or adjust to their bodies after an amputation. In his personal life, he also found that it took him around 3 weeks to establish new routines. He published a book Psycho-Cybernetics with his findings, which went on to become a bestseller.

As his ideas filtered down through the public, they were taken out of context; everyone seemed to forget that 21 days was a “minimum” and that his research was based on self-image, not building habits. However, like so many common misconceptions, this one planted itself deeply and has proved difficult to unearth.

Why 21 day concept does not work

Sadly, a machine that scientifically measures the willpower and stamina needed to change our behaviour is yet to be invented. So today, 21 days is still the best guess we have. Yet we need to remember it’s exactly that: a guess. And there are so many more nuances to take into consideration.

For example, what does it take to drink more water? In my case, it was buying a beautiful glass jug, floating some colourful limes and lemons inside and keeping it in my eye-line. Managing expenses, or figuring out why you can’t shake the extra kilos? A few taps on a finance or calorie-counting app does the trick for me. Ok, it is a bit tedious but this kind of adjustment isn’t exactly hard. All you need is a reminder mechanism so that it becomes as automatic as brushing teeth.

It’s a different story if you have been a night owl all of your life and after reading Hal Elrod’s book ‘The Miracle Morning’ (which is a great book by the way), decide to wake up at 5 am and do everything from silence practice to exercise to affirmations to reading. This is a pretty steep change which is causing a tectonic shift in your settled/wired behaviour patterns. For me personally, the most difficult habit change that literally dragged on for ages was quitting smoking — it took closer to 21 years than 21 days, with very many failed attempts in between.

Design your life around habits you want to build

If you worry that you simply “don’t have time” to adapt your routine, it’s worth remembering that sometimes building new habits is less about time and more about how you design your environment.

If a mat is the first thing you see in the morning, you will be much more likely to do the exercise; if you leave a book on the bed you are much more likely to read before you go to sleep; and if the first thing you open on your phone is an expense or weight-control app, you are much more likely to track it throughout the day.

Look inside. How strong is your ‘why’?

Psychiatrist Viktor E. Frankl, author of ‘Man’s Search For Meaning’, writes that having a strong sense of purpose was his psychological lifeline while imprisoned in a concentration camp. He said, “Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.” Of course, many of us face far milder challenges, but what this shows is that the strength of the ‘why’ will ultimately decide how long (if at all) you stick with any habit.

You will have a much better chance if you do it for yourself, not for your friends, and if you’re not just jumping on the latest trendy wave or looking for something to post on social media.

Your new habits are much more likely to stick if they are a reflection of the new person you are aiming to be tomorrow. Be it someone who starts to care about nutrition and health, be it a contributor to re-wilding rather than extending cattle farmlands, be it a thinker who reads and learns instead of binging on Netflix, or an entrepreneur willing to take the risk and build something instead of being a cog in a big machine.

Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’ — Viktor E. Frankl

Everyone fails. Every single day. You are not the only one

So, when do we draw a line and say we’ve “succeeded” in cultivating a new habit? I’d say never. I’m sure this isn’t exactly what you wanted to hear. But fortunately or unfortunately, life is a journey, not a destination. Everyone fails constantly, even with the best intentions, but as long as there is direction, there is not much to regret and much more to be proud of.

For a long time, I ran every day and now; now, it has been a looong time since I picked up the running shoes. I could blame the weather; I could say it’s because I’m now doing yoga on a regular basis instead. The reality is I could easily have gone for a 10 minute run every single day. Not feeling great about it but, well, it is what it is. I know I am not a ‘Miss Perfect’ and will get back to running sooner or later. And I also know that I have continued doing another million things every day though like reading, writing, drinking loads of water, meditation, building up new really valuable work habits.

21 is a good number to build a muscle

Ultimately, 21 is just a nice and ‘doable’ number for the crowds. It is certainly enough to build a habit of ‘muscle memory’ — to remember that today is the day to exercise, job search, meditate, make your bed, whatever it is you’d like to be part of this better version of yourself. It is not that hard to do something for 21 days in a row. What is really hard is to stick to it for a year or two and ultimately make it an integral part of one’s life. Hard — but not impossible.