Who’s ZOOMING Who?

Last week I took part in my very first ZOOM video conference call. It wasn’t business-related. Far from it. The call was a birthday party for my good friend Charlotte in Chicago. I put emphasis on the “good friend” part because if she wasn’t, I wouldn’t have taken the time out of my day to do it.

The idea of going live has never thrilled me. I’m not a fan of Facetime or any sort of videotele-ish. My vanity gets in the way. But I want to get over that now. It’s time. So when I got the text about Charlotte’s virtual birthday party, I knew it was a must.

April 13 is not only her birthday. It’s also the day I boarded a train and left Chicago so many years ago to start a new life in Atlanta. And she’s never let me forget it.

At least there was time to get ready for her party. Like the rest of us, I’ve been on lockdown for almost month. But I’ve worked from home for years, so this hasn’t been the ordeal for me that it’s been for others. I’ve been counseling friends and relatives through their rough patches. I even wrote an article with tips on how to work from home and survive. But while I’m cool and collected on the inside, my outside has remained pretty raw. Charlotte is a former model and there would be several other models at the video party, too. I had to pull myself together.

I’d been wearing bantu knots for weeks. And not the cute kind. I took my hair down, fluffed it out and tied it back with a colorful scarf. Then I dusted on a little Mac face powder, shaded in my eyebrows, added a touch of blush and tried on every pair of glasses before deciding on the big cat-eyes. But let’s be real. The only way I’d be happy with my appearance would be to roll it back a few years.

I’m not ashamed of my vanity. I just want to get it under control and not let it hinder me…

I never struggled with vanity until I started getting older. I’d always taken my looks for granted. But like anyone else, my world would flip upside down if something went wrong. Like the time I dropped a beanie-weenie casserole while taking it out of the oven and a red-hot bean bounced up and stuck to my cheek.

It was a nasty burn and I was forced to wear that scar outright for weeks before it was safe to cover with makeup. It was a major crisis then. Now there’s no trace of the scar and I can’t remember if it was the right cheek or the left.

I was never as vain as others I knew who couldn’t go five-hundred feet without checking themselves. How I look wasn’t something I thought about all day. But visual technology and my age-induced narcissism have been bumping heads lately. I’m not ashamed of my vanity. I just want to get it under control and not let it hinder me, Zoom-wise. I don’t want to miss out on the fun.

These last few weeks we’ve all seen some very interesting home-based backgrounds while watching tv. Right? From our local news to late night talk shows, everyone’s broadcasting from home. I think your personal background says a lot and it’s not too silly to go the extra mile and set it up to your liking. Have some fun with it. Pretend you’re a set designer working on a movie.

I chose my dining room for the natural light streaming in through the windows and propped my iPad up on a tower of books so that while sitting, the camera angle was slightly from above. No under-the-chin shots here, folks.

Our Sidney Carter painting with the super ornate gold frame hung behind me. A shiny champagne bucket and other items were still on the buffet from a little brunch I had on the final day of February, before the official lockdown. Those were my props.

The party started at four pm. I put on lipstick and punched in the number and password we were given. And BAM! There they are! Charlotte! Renee! Sandra. Elsa. Gail. Altogether, about seventeen women were present. I knew four of them.

Since it was a special occasion I broke my cocktails-on-weekends-only rule and toasted Charlotte with a tequila shot. Others raised wine goblets and martini glasses. We chatted, cackled, howled, shared old photographs and told Charlotte-stories for over an hour. She’s such a character, we ALL had a tale or two.

The convo hopped from person to person and from subject to subject. Renee in Chicago raved over her brand new InstaPot and carried it in from the kitchen for us to see. I had another shot of tequila and talked about a cancelled event I was suppose to attend and the new kimono I’d planned to wear. At their insistence, I grabbed it from my closet while hubby stuck his head in to offer birthday wishes. And then Sandra in West Virginia strummed her guitar and sang a song for Charlotte. She wasn’t very good at singing or guitar-strumming but that just made it funny and touching. We all clapped.

My vanity became a non-issue. It’s funny how that can happen when you’re having a great time.

ZOOM turned out to be a totally cool experience. Virtual parties are great! Charlotte has a shindig every year and I’ve never been able to attend. This way I could. Unlike traditional in-person parties where guests sit around playing with their phones all night, everyone at the ZOOM party was there to interact and have fun.

And guess what? My vanity became a non-issue. It’s funny how that can happen when you’re having a great time.

Now I’m kicking around the idea of a birthday party for my bestie in June. It’ll be after work hours. I’ll spin some tunes. And I might even wear my new kimono.