Health/Challenge

Who Wants to Veg-Out With Me?

C’mon. It’ll be more fun than you can shake a carrot at.

If, while reading this, you’re thinking, “damn, this woman must be bored,” you’d be on the money. But even so, to paraphrase Elvis Costello, my aim is not only “true,” but good.

Ennui aside, I’m writing this piece with the best of intentions.

Since the loss of my job in 2018 and more recently, the onset of the “hoax” known as COVID-19, my healthy routine has hit a few speed bumps.

I still work out regularly and try to maintain a healthy diet — in spite of my newfound love for jalapeno poppers — yet I feel myself slipping and I don’t like it. Nor do I care for the six pounds I gained.

Normally, as an intermittent faster (inadvertent, mind you as I just fell into it), I don’t eat anything until about four in the afternoon, when I’m done with my daily routine of writing, chores, shopping, and the like. And, after years of avoiding most carbs, my snack of choice has been popcorn, the low-cal kind, which I spritz with olive oil. I also give it a few shakes of nutritional yeast, which gives it a cheesy tang. It tastes a lot better than it sounds, trust me, and is loaded with nutrients.

Apples with a “schmear”

At work, I used to eat two apples with peanut butter every day. A satiating and yummy “meal.” I was able to keep my weight stable and had few if any cravings for crap.

I miss that and really don’t know why I stopped. I guess as is the case with everyone, the pandemic has discombobulated me and what was once a healthy routine, has devolved into “Popcorn at four, followed by wine at five.”

For a while now, I’ve been reading about and watching documentaries touting the benefits of plant-based eating, which is, as you probably know, a “diet” centered around fruits and vegetables, which are antioxidant-rich, high in fiber, and low in calories.

Years ago, I quit eating red meat primarily for ethical reasons. Hypocritically, I still consume chicken…a lot of chicken…and fish, along with eggs and occasionally, cheese.

Recently, I read a no-holds-barred story in the publication, Tenderly, from a writer who explained why he was going to switch from a vegetarian diet to full-on vegan.

The piece was pretty graphic in its depiction of how animals are treated on factory farms. Not news to me, but it brought home the unpleasant fact that just because I don’t eat cows or pigs, I’m still eating meat and still contributing to the problem. In short, our inhumanity to the creatures that share this earth, and how that inhumanity impacts our environment.

That said, my story is not about that. If you’re interested, there are plenty of resources that will explain exactly what occurs on “Old MacDonald’s Farm” and all I’m going to say is, it ain’t pretty folks.

No, I’m writing this to see if anyone here would like to join me in an experiment of sorts. And that is eating plant-based-foods-only for one week, or five days, whichever time frame will help reel in a few volunteers.

Pandemically pudgy

Many of us have complained about Pandemic weight gain, or Pandemic Pudge, as I call it. I’ll bet that if we focus on eating fruits and veggies for even five days, we’ll find that those everyday pants (with the hole) will feel a bit looser and we’ll feel lighter and less slug-like. Maybe even have more energy to do, well, whatever it is we’re doing these days, which isn’t a hell of a lot. But we’ll have more energy to do it!

We can work out the particulars together. For example, I’m thinking fruits, vegetables, and unrefined carbs in moderation. Quinoa. Brown rice. Barley. Like that. If you haven’t eaten it in a while, barley is delicious, by the way.

Riced cauliflower, incidentally, is a great stand-in for grains if you want to lower the carb count of a meal even more. It’s delish and you don’t even have to do the work. You can buy it frozen or vacuum-sealed. Pop it in a microwave or cast iron skillet and you’re done. I’ve made “fried rice” with it, scrambled eggs and all and it’s pretty damned good.

Speaking of, if you eat dairy — milk, eggs, cheese — and want to continue, that’s totally fine. Eggs are a fine source of protein, but if you’re concerned about weight gain, milk and cheese should be consumed in moderation. Better yet, drink plant-based milk like almond, coconut, or cashew. Low in calories, creamy and hormone-free.

I realize that those of you with families might come across some opposition, but hey, we’re all adults here, right? My husband won’t be on board but we can chart our own courses and in so doing, maybe even set an example for others. What a concept, no?

Being that it’s Tuesday and I realize that you’ll need to think about this before jumping in feet-first, or saying, “the hell with her,” I believe this coming Monday would be a good starting-off point.

You can tell me if you’d like to commit to five days or a full week. I’m good with either and I realize a bit of planning might be in order, along with shopping.

Now here’s the fun part. Yes, it can be “fun,” so don’t pout, it’s unbecoming to you. We can get as creative with this as we like. Or as basic. If you’re a gourmet cook and can throw together a mouth-watering meal using zucchini and a fennel frond, go for it.

If, like me, you’re not Martha Stewart, opt for a platter of colorful raw veggies with a side of hummus. Or a variety of veggies roasted on a sheet pan. Or Baby Bella mushrooms sauteed in olive oil and minced garlic and served over a whole grain. Or if you’re feeling really lazy, my fave, apples and peanut butter.

If nothing else, you’ll get a story out of it

I’m thinking that, at the end of our “experiment,” we can share how we fared right here in The Top Shelf. If you’re interested and already write for us, cool.

If not and you want in, hit me up in an email with your Medium profile. Quality writing is still paramount. I just want to make that clear because this is why we launched The Top Shelf: To showcase great writers who are tired of the crap and looking for a home.

As I come to the end of this piece, I’m starting to feel my resolve slip a little, so please someone…anyone…do you want to veg-out with me?

P.S. If you don’t hear any more from me about this particular topic, you’ll know it was a complete flop. Wouldn’t be the first time.

© Sherry McGuinn, 2020. All Rights Reserved.

Sherry McGuinn is a slightly-twisted, longtime Chicago-area writer and award-winning screenwriter. Her work has appeared in The Chicago Tribune, Chicago Sun-Times, and numerous other publications. Sherry’s manager is currently pitching her newest screenplay, a drama with dark, comedic overtones and inspired by a true story.

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