Who Cares

Summary

Divina Grey reflects on the personal journey of self-acceptance and the realization that being true to oneself is more important than seeking external validation.

Abstract

The article delves into the author's introspective journey on her 30th birthday, where she grapples with the concept of acceptance from family, friends, and peers. Inspired by literature on self-acceptance and resilience, she concludes that true maturity lies in embracing oneself, flaws and all, and not being overly concerned with others' opinions. Despite the challenges of a recent divorce and the pressure to maintain a perfect image, she finds solace in self-compassion and the understanding that being a good person is independent of external validation.

Opinions

The author believes that self-acceptance is a key component of personal growth and maturity.
She suggests that societal and familial expectations can lead to a preoccupation with being accepted, which is not necessarily indicative of one's worth.
The article conveys that it's important to be kind, considerate, empathetic, loyal, and loving to oneself, rather than seeking validation from others.
The author emphasizes the importance of not giving in to the pressure of maintaining a perfect image and instead focusing on being a good person as defined by one's own values.
She expresses gratitude for the support she has received and extends a message of love to her readers, affirming that they too are valued and loved.

You’re still a good person.

“You know what I’d really like to say? I’m drunk! That’s right, Mom and Dad, your little old "Harmomica" is hammered. And guess what? I’ve been drunk before. And I’ve smoked a cigarette. You know what, it’s all okay. It’s okay because I turned 30 today. And I can do anything I want. Because I am a grown-up.” — Monica Gellar, Friends

When I think of acceptance, my mind immediately goes to whether or not I’m accepted by my family (i.e., my parents), friends, classmates (and soon-to-be colleagues), and gym mates. Yep, I’ll say it; my mind starts to veer recklessly down that oh-so-familiar road to Amigoodenoughville.

Then, I look to my right to spot a crisp copy of, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson in all of its blazing orange-colored glory sitting on my bookshelf and begging mercilessly to be read for a second time. And next to that book, I see Mom’s House, Dad’s House — Making Two Homes for Your Child, by Isolina Ricci, Ph. D. Huh, nothing like a bloody divorce to humble the crap out of you and your fairytale marriage and picture-perfect family life.

To wrap this up in 150-ish words or less, I can’t think of a more grown-up thing to do other than to accept myself, warts and all, and to also honor how everyone else shows up in my life. To divorced thirty (eight) year old me, acceptance means being my kind, considerate, empathetic, loyal, meek, loving, compassionate self— and not giving a f*ck what other people think. Because I’m not perfect, but I know I’m a good person.

And so are you.

Thank you for your love and support. You Are Loved. ❤

Divina Grey is a ferocious woman and mother rebuilding her life one article at a time. She likes long bike rides, singing and playing her guitar, an electrifying workout, and a cup of coffee so decadent she can feel the frothiness in her bones. Over the last twenty-five years, Divina has stockpiled a collection of journals in an elegant wooden chest and is oozing with gratitude for the chance to share her staggering long-time love of writing with the world.