Who Am I? — I am ALIVE
Introduction to Illumination writers community
Dr Mehmet Yildiz — bellow my introduction to the Illumination writers community.
Human me
I like to define myself by my livelihood. I AM. The fact of being alive defines me completely. I believe that as long as you are alive and healthy; you can be all you want to be and even get surprised by what you can be. Okay maybe I do have some identity crisis hanging on the background of this way of thinking. Who knows? It wouldn’t be that surprising if so. I involuntarily lived in 5 different countries before age 10 and later on 3 added up (those ones voluntarily) to the list until now. As a great outcome of that I currently speak 5 languages (Kinyarwanda, French, English, Norwegian and Spanish). I see myself as a citizen of the world and hardly fit in a box lesser than the human box. This is challenging in a world that is oftentimes after simplicity and easy ways to comprehend humans by labelling them.
I belong everywhere yet no where. I’m a free soul and real nomad in my mind, soul and spirit. I am too curious to stick to only one static identity. I have multiple (evolving ones):
#The societal me
My name is Annick. I am a 30 years old (while writing these lines in 2020) Afropean, daughter, sister, wife, parent and friend. I work in advertising marketing. French, originally from Rwanda and currently living in Norway.
#The baggage me
Survivor, living miracle:
I was born in Kigali, Rwanda – East Africa. At 4 years old I had to escape my native country because of the rwandese genocide in 1994. My family and I lived in refugee camps for 5 years around Africa before settling in France by God’s grace. I wrote an article about that period of my life here.
Poor relationships choices/management:
Some poor choices in terms of relationships often leave me disappointed, confused and frustrated. I am in the process of healing from the PPS (People Pleasing Syndrome) and PTSD which I came to realize may be at the root of that outcome.
With a naive tendency to idealize people and situations, I only reap the results of my “high” expectations (or standards as I like to call them). So currently on the journey of becoming more realistic and see people and situations as they are and not as I want/idealize them to be. Am I finally becoming a mature adult? :)
#The leisured me:
When I am not reading or writing, what sets my soul on fire is dancing and interacting with open, curious minded people. I love nature and being in a state of reverence, admiring nature’s pure beauty is a daily meditative activity.
Why Medium?
I have been writing diaries and small stories since I was 16.
- I write to pass on learning and take away from books I read. As Maya Angelou wrote «when you learn, teach; when you get, give»
- I write to share my ideas and life perspectives
- I write when I get mad (I don’t only write, I also express it lively — #angermanagementloading…)
- I write when I face unfairness and incomprehension.
- I write so that I can fully express myself without being stereotyped as “aggressive”. Even though I am only standing in my truth and not taking in any bullsh*t (I am allergic to this one).
- I write when life gets blurry and I need clarity.
- I write to express and be the voice of those who don’t do so or those who don’t have that right/possibility to express themselves.
- I write because I truly love and enjoy it.
The other reason that made me start writing on Medium is that I was facing some health challenges and writing helped me figure things out while putting them on the public light spot. I was put on medical leave for a period and needed to keep my brain stimulated. Thanks God (and some health care providers + personal work), things are getting better and the drive to write increases everyday.
So yes, that was me in “short”. And the rest is yet to discover . . . :)
Thank you Dr Mehmet Yildiz for the invitation to join Illumination writers community. I am happy to be part of this and looking forward to get to know each of you awesome writers through your writing.
Adrien, thank you for introducing me to Medium. It would have taken longer for me to land here. You are an awesome human being. Grateful to have crossed your path.
Thank you for your time, you reading this and I wish you the best you are visualizing for yourself in this life journey. Take good care on the way.
One love 💜
