Who Am I?

Summary

The text is a reflective piece on the author's struggle with self-identity, personal discipline, and the pursuit of self-improvement.

Abstract

The author of the text expresses a deep internal conflict, acknowledging their role as both the creator and victim of their own circumstances. They feel trapped by their lack of discipline and the resulting habits that lead to unhappiness. The author describes an ongoing battle within themselves, recognizing that they are their own worst enemy, hindered by procrastination and poor choices. Despite this, there is a recognition of the need for change, suggesting that true transformation requires significant sacrifice and the willingness to let go of negative traits. The piece concludes with an African proverb emphasizing the importance of inner peace to withstand external challenges.

Opinions

The author views themselves as a prisoner of their own indiscipline, directly linking their actions to their misfortune.
There is a sense of paralysis due to the inability to align actions with knowledge and desires.
The author expresses self-loathing, considering themselves an obstacle and the architect of their own struggles.
The text suggests that the author's current state is a result of unconscious habits and a lack of self-awareness.
A significant theme is the acknowledgment that change requires conscious effort and the willingness to sacrifice comfort for growth.
The author seems to believe that the key to overcoming external adversities is to conquer internal enemies first, as per the African proverb mentioned.

I am who I am tired of being. #APoem

I’m a prisoner and a victim of my own indiscipline. I am the architect of my own misfortune. Affected by the impact and unbraided hand of life. How am I able to remain outwardly calm when there is a storm inside of me?

I am paralyzed by my inability to become — caught between what I know and what I ought to do. I am my worse enemy, my greatest threat, and biggest enemy. I’ve become an obstacle for me. I loot my opportunity, and Squander my time on apparently, things I despise.

I know I am caught between a war of the forces of nature in life. But my own role in this dilemma breaks my heart and pulls my joints out of place. When what I seek I do not see and, what I see I did not seek. Or maybe I did seek it — unconsciously.

Knowing fully well that our lives are filled with the results of activities engaged by our subconsciousness, called habits. So maybe my undoing is my own doing. And my unhappiness, my own craftsmanship. For I have unconsciously called my own bitterness out of the depths of unconscious indiscipline.

I do not want it if I only speak of it. I truly want it, only if I work towards it. I am who I am tired of being. The sacrifice is greater than I ever imagined. But I must become if I must embrace the true me — I must pay the price and sacrifice for the new birth.

I must let go of me that weighs me down — selfish and lazy.

Oh, there’s an old African proverb that says; “If there’s no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm”

STRUGGLES

Who Am I?

I am who I am tired of being. #APoem