White-ish or Brown-ish: Neither Your Shade Nor Your Shape Matters

We Need To Stop Finding Ways To “Divide & Conquer”

“You cannot say to the sun, ‘More sun,’ or to the rain, ‘Less rain.’” — Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha

A conversation started today following an article written by Bridgette L. Hylton, Kindly Call Me Black, about how black one can be.

Here’s a thing black people may or may not know:

Even if Black people didn’t exist, human race will find a way to practice racism against each other.

Why do I say that? Because I merely live this fact. I shared with Bridgette how I have no Black people in my country, but it turned out you don’t need black people to subcategorize people based on a color palette — you can still do the same depending on how pale your skin is.

Yup, being white alone is not enough.

I have actually been the brownest among my sisters for a quit long time as I grew older. The one universal line was always the same when I was in family gatherings:

Why this daughter is so brown?

Now I make fun of it, but back then, that was no fun.

The Brown-ish Lady

There were always some remarks on how different my color appeared among sisters, and I remember once when a nice lady came to “see a bride for her son” asked for the “whiter sister” when I showed up. What a bummer!

You see, Black or white, thin or fat, Asian or Arab — there will always be a way or two to subcategorize people and practice a shade of racism against “the less” group.

We witness this in all communities and sub-communities. People will find criteria to create sub-communities under-which they and others will fall.

I still remember a visit to the stylist one day, and the ladies in the saloon were a bit anxious for a mysterious guest coming. With additional questions, I found out that the “new white, green-eyed bride” was coming.

I had to see this beauty-on-two-legs. I stayed, and then the white, green-eyed bride walked in. Needless to say, I was disappointed.

When Brown Grew Lighter

As I grew older, my skin became a lighter color. My youngest sister, on the other hand, grew up to have darker skin as she grew up. In my eyes, my sister is a representation of all the right beauty factors. Yet, people praise me now for my ‘lighter skin’ which in my mind is equal to bullshit.

Beauty is beauty, regardless of the packaging, it comes in. The most amazing goddess I’ve ever seen was a 180cm lady who worked in Galleries Lafayette in Paris; A deep, chocolate, velvety like skin and a stunning face structure.

I still think of her when people mention the “most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”

Saying that someone is beautiful because they are ‘whiter’ is like saying that a man is smarter than a woman because he’s a man — both are two faces of the same fake coin.

You can’t judge based on the look. Science was never based on the moods of the scientists pulling the research.

The Clash

With all the above being said, I -myself- have my own ignorance and prejudice. I received a note on my comment to Bridgette article above. As much as the note felt offensive, it opened my eyes to something I haven’t realized before:

My comment:

I love your angle, though I know many people would oppose it. In my country, we don’t have black people, but we have a word for the more brownish skin-colored “wheat-like قمحية” so you see; it’s never about black or white — people will always find a way to categorize and put a breed on a higher level than another. It’s in our DNA, so trust me: the race against racism won’t end even if black people -somehow- achieved their goals and we all became ‘color blinded’.

Keep more of those coming cause it made my day!

Reply note:

“The goal of Black people in the US is freedom and equality, not colorblindness. Have you been paying attention at all?!

Also, humans don’t have “breeds” like dog or horses. Eugenicists use such terms. Please stop using that term in relation to humans unless it is your goal to be perceived as racist.”

Good intentions are not enough on this topic. Color and race are sensitive topics that it’s a must to remind ourselves always:

People perceive things differently, based on their own history of experiences.

This realization made me notice my tone in my comment. My heart was in the right place, but after all, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

The Lesson

Our triple-standard perspectives of everything need to change. The first step is to recognize our prejudice and unconscious biasses, then start assessing people and things based on the right criteria that exist on land, not in our minds.

What unifies us is Much powerful than what divides us.