Which Good Habits Will We Retain After Our Time in Quarantine?

Thoughts after having Covid-19

It is often said that it takes twenty-one days to establish a new habit. Truthfully, some habits (like returning to the cabinet where I keep the chocolate every time I make a cup of tea) are very easy to form and take far less than twenty-one days to establish. But during our time in quarantine, we’ve all had a chance to create new, long-standing habits — some of them very good ones, like daily meditation and appreciating each other and the simple things in life more. Hopefully we will be able to retain some of these habits when we step back out into the world.

I’m working on breaking that chocolate habit, or at least reducing my consumption. But after not being able to taste much of anything for a couple of weeks (we lost our sense of taste and smell when we had the coronavirus) — that chocolate tastes so good now! My chocolate habit may take care of itself though, simply because I am finding it harder and harder to purchase my favorite bar online.

My husband and I were part of the first wave of people to catch Covid-19, and we have been isolating since March 12th, when we first started to have symptoms. So, our food (and chocolate) supply, and our contact with other people, has been a little more restricted than it has for a lot of the rest of the world.

Because we have been afraid of infecting others, we have not been able to partake in those panicked dashes through the grocery store. We haven’t seen the empty shelves or waited in line six feet apart.

Instead, we have been recuperating together, spending every waking (and sleeping) hour with each other and having a bit of a “honeymoon” in the midst of a pandemic. My hope is that some of the new habits we have established during this time, many of which have brought us closer together, will stay with us as we re-enter the world.

Meditation

We’ve always been meditators, but I have to admit that before quarantine there were often days when life got busy and I just never got around to meditating.

When we were sick though, I really believe that our daily meditations were part of what pulled us through. I have always liked to meditate outdoors, where I can feel, see and hear how connected we are with the natural world. I have a favorite garden bench next to a stand of fuzzy purple borage, which is always buzzing with bees. I like to sit there and envision the energy of the universe flowing through me and through every other creature, plant or rock on this planet.

There was a day when I was lying in bed with a high fever. A soft breeze blew through the open french door, billowing the gauzy white curtains. The hummingbirds, just on the other side of the door, chattered and squealed, and a mockingbird began to run through his repertoire. Sunshine spilled into the room through the glass shelves and illuminated a little red vase which was my great-grandmother’s. And I was struck by a sense of utter connectivity. I sensed golden light enfolding me and I knew that the same light touched every other living thing. It was the moment when I knew that everything would be all right.

My husband, in his meditations, had a vision of us “vibrating” at a higher rate than that of the virus. One night, when our lungs were very tight, we snuggled together on the couch and summoned that higher vibrational energy. He feels like this was the turning point for him.

During this quarantine time, meditating has probably become the single most important habit that we have established. It has helped up stay calm in the face of the storm. And I think that this is a habit that is here to stay.

CSA boxes of fresh produce delivered to our door — a new habit that has been a lifeline for us and also supports local organic farmers

We were likely infected on March 8th, when we flew home from the Dominican Republic through both Miami International and LAX. When we returned, I tried to place an “Amazon Prime Now” order for grocery delivery but was not able to get a delivery time slot because everybody else in southern California was trying to do the same thing. So, I signed us up for a CSA (community supported agriculture) box, which gets delivered once a week.

I had been contemplating this step for a while, but really hadn’t investigated it thoroughly and wasn't sure if we would get the right mix of veggies or if we would have to accept products that we didn’t care for. It turns out that we do have total control over what we order.

This service has, literally, been a lifeline for us. Not only have we been able to select which items we want in our box, but they also carry items like organic butter, yogurt and cheese — all made by small family businesses. This is one habit I will likely keep forever. Not only is the food incredibly fresh, but we are also supporting local organic farmers. It is a win-win for everyone and a reminder of how connected we all really are.

Creating rituals, being mindful in the meal preparation and having a “date night”

We have also been much more mindful of meal preparation. Those bunches of asparagus, lettuces and broccoli from the CSA are precious commodities. So, we have been a little more inventive with our recipes (we always cook together, although my husband is a far better chef than I am) in order to avoid wasting any food.

I teach yoga and spend most of the rest of my day writing, so I am normally home for lunch, which is often a quick meal eaten at the kitchen counter. But my husband has been working from home now too. So, we have begun a ritual of making lunch together each day. We often make a salad from some of those fresh lettuces, radishes, carrots and feta cheese that we’ve been getting from our CSA boxes. Cutting up the veggies while taking a little break from our “work days” has become a welcome activity that helps bring us a little peace.

We also set the table with placemats and cloth napkins for each meal. While it might be easier to just eat in the kitchen on the bar stools, we’ve decided to make mealtime into a bit of a ritual. Even the kitties now all join us for lunch. All four of them normally appear from wherever they have been napping when they hear the sounds of food being prepared. We put their four little white plates on the floor right beside us, so that they can be part of the meal.

While my husband will eventually go back to the office, we are hopeful that he may be able to continue to work at home at least a couple of days a week, and that we will be able to maintain a bit of this new “normal” schedule and lunchtime ritual. It seems like maybe this is a little “practice-time” for when he does actually retire.

We have decided to pull out the “good dishes” and a nice bottle of wine, and dress up for a date night at least once a week too. When we got married, we didn’t have much in the way of money, so we never had nice china until a few years ago when we impulsively bought a set while we were in Budapest. More often than not, that beautiful china is admired from behind the glass doors of the hutch where it resides. But we have realized the stupidity of that. So even though we are in isolation, we have been getting fancied-up for “date night” and dining on our fine china. And it feels very celebratory.

The importance of friendships

Since I got sick with Covid-19, the importance of friendships has really become front and center in my mind. During my worst days, when I had a fever of 104.7° F and couldn’t think straight, my dear friend, Rebecca, brought over several bottles of coconut water. It, honestly, might have saved my life. I kept having these very light-headed moments and hadn’t realized how much my body needed those electrolytes until I had them.

We also, like so much of the rest of the world right now, have been doing “virtual” happy hours and meals with friends. It is such a good way to stay connected to people, and to actually have more frequent communication. I hope that this is something that continues. While it is not the same thing as being there in person, it is far easier to connect more frequently this way.

We have a new, five-month-old, granddaughter. And while we have not been able to see her lately, we’ve been Facetiming with her parents daily and have been able to watch our granddaughter learn to grasp objects in her hands and discover her toes. When I was a kid, my mom and grandma would make tape-recordings for each other. It was more exciting and personal than getting a letter. Facetime takes it up a notch.

I have also just been picking up the phone more lately to talk to friends I haven’t spoken to in far too long. In this time of uncertainty, these connections are so important to maintain.

Late afternoon walks with my husband

I hike in the nearby Peter’s Canyon most days. My husband is an avid bike rider. I believe that being in good shape cardiovascularly is a huge part of what helped our bodies fight Covid-19.

Since we’ve recovered from our illnesses, we’ve been walking together in the afternoons. And we’re not the only ones. Our neighbors, many of whom we never see normally, are all out walking too. While everyone is maintaining a safe distance between each other, it has been really lovely to chat with people whom we normally don’t exchange much more than a wave with.

I hope that this habit of strolling and talking to neighbors continues. Not only is it a joy to connect with people, I think that a lot of folks are getting into much better shape by getting out of the house to go for walks.

Not over-spending, living more simply, and enjoying the little things

I think that everybody is watching their finances a little (or a lot) more closely now. I have been amazed at how much we could “skinny” things down around here. My husband is getting close to retirement age (let’s keep our fingers crossed that the stock market pops back into shape) and we’ve been talking about how to exist a little more simply. This period of time has shown us the beauty of enjoying what we have and that we really don’t need to go looking for more. As my husband says, “We are still on this side of the grass, we don’t need much more.”

Another habit we have developed has been a late afternoon “garden tour.” Glasses of wine in hand, we admire the poppies and tulips. We notice which irises are almost finished blooming and which ones are about to open up. We listen to the birds. We water the new lettuces and tomatoes which we planted in our “victory garden.” And we pay attention to the small things which are the fabric of life.

Finding balance in our commitments

My husband has always been a bit more extroverted than me and he often schedules evening social activities for us. I, quite honestly, took a little guilty pleasure in deleting all of those commitments from my calendar when we went into quarantine.

During this time of isolation, he has also “seen the light” in how overcommitted he was. I think that after all of this is over, we will be better able to find a balance.

Virtual “live” classes

I teach yoga, and Yoga Works (where I have taught for twenty years) has closed its physical doors for now. But I have been so impressed with their efforts to keep paying their teachers and managers at least a portion of what they would normally earn.

They began offering “live online classes,” which no one really knew if people would watch or not. It turns out that the majority of students have maintained their memberships and are tuning in at home to these classes. And, what is even more amazing to me is that people have been calling from all over the world to buy packs of these classes.

In a time of isolation, we are reaching people whom we might never have crossed paths with otherwise. Now that I am well again, I am watching classes taught by teachers I rarely get the chance to see in person and I am also going to start teaching one of these online live classes next week for Yoga Works. I have to say, I am really excited about it. I miss my students and I love the idea of having some sort of connection with them again.

I really do hope that these “live classes” — yoga and otherwise, carry on after the pandemic is over. I love the idea of being able to touch someone from across the planet.

I often end my classes with the mantra “lokāḥ samastaḥ sukhino bhavaṇtu, Om śāntiḥ, śāntiḥ, śāntiḥ, Oṃ,” which means, “May all beings everywhere be happy and free. Peace, peace, and perfect peace.”

We are all in this together

It feels to me like teaching these new live classes gives new meaning to the idea of “all beings everywhere.” We are all in this together. We all inhabit this one precious planet. And I truly do wish that, wherever you are, you are finding a little bit of happiness and peace, and that you, and your loved ones, are discovering some new tools, rituals and habits to carry forth with you into this new world we are stepping into.

I hope that you enjoyed reading about my husband’s and my insights from this crazy time. You might also enjoy:

Erika Burkhalter is a yogi, neurophilosopher, cat-mom, photographer, and lover of travel and nature, spreading her love and amazement for Mother Earth’s glories, one photo, poem or story at a time. (MS Neuropsychology, MA Yoga Studies). Erika is also an editor for Dharma Talk.

Photo and story ©Erika Burkhalter. All rights reserved.