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Abstract

ter leaving academia for me to make it to Europe. However, I knew all along not only that I’d love it, but that I’d probably prefer living there. The second I set foot in Italy in 2022, I knew this is the way it ought to be. Or, at least, this is how I prefer it to be.</blockquote>Subsequent visits reaffirmed this sense and helped me conclude that Spain is the place for us.That said, from a practical standpoint, one reason why the path to making the move seems relatively straightforward for us is because of my work.I have been lucky enough to write online — in pretty much the same space — for the better part of the last 15 years. Because I don’t have anywhere near enough money to buy myself into another country, it’s my work that opened the door. At least for Spain.Would I be in the position I’m in now career-wise had I been born elsewhere? Possibly, but not probably. I never lose sight of the fact that there are certain opportunities I have because I was born in the USA.Yes, you have to seize the opportunities and so on, but the reality is I was born on third base. I didn’t hit a triple.There are problems in this country. Obviously. Issues such as gun violence, homelessness, car culture and the general political environment all play a role in our decision to leave.However, escaping the macro environment in the United States won’t necessarily do much to make meaningful change in your individual environment. That is how you feel about life and, more specifically, how you feel about waking up in the morning.No doubt — some people move abroad or do something else somewhat extreme and it cures all ills. But I’d argue those are outliers. I’m a big believer in wherever you go, there you are.You can talk shit about the United States and how bad it is all you want, but check yourself.Are you in a position to talk shit — and maybe move — because you were freaking born and/or live here? Did your citizenship and subsequent benefits play any role in any success you have achieved? Or in your ability to be mobile?Even more so, don’t think you won’t run into things you don’t like — maybe even problems — in another country.You make the move because there’s something very specific you want and maybe even need in another environment that you can’t have in your own.On a higher level, it does suck to live in a society where half of the nation (or so) might vote for Trump and where gun violence is rampant. However, when it really comes down to it, these toxic aspects of American life don’t really impact most people’s day to day.I’m not downplaying them. I’m merely putting them in perspective.If you manage to escape these things, but put little real thought into what waits for you on the other side — in your new country — you might just be creating a whole new set of existential problems for yourself.Spain — or wherever — isn’t a panacea.But Spain does have some things we simply cannot get in the United States and, where you can get some substandard level of them, you have to pay an arm and a leg you either don’t have or are unwilling to spend.<ul><li>It has built environments focused on people and public space, which make walking and eating dinner and drinking in

Options

the middle of the street a way of life. There are no (or fewer) cars to get in the way, block your view or worse. You can’t overstate the impact this has on day-to-day life.</li><li>It has a relatively low cost of living on the things we like to do (see the above, plus grocery stores and neighborhood markets) and feel like we need to do to live the best second half of our life as possible (buy a nice, but modest and relatively small apartment within a few years). This doesn’t exist in most of the US we’d be happy living in.</li><li>It has — despite an element of the same left/right divide and sexism we see in the US — a more progressive political and social environment. You pay your taxes (income and Social Security) in Spain and you can use, enjoy and, as importantly, intellectually and theoretically align with what you’re getting in return.</li></ul>To illustrate my point —Without the first two, very practical points, there’s little use in highlighting the third. Because, truth be told, if I really had to, I could deal with that pitfall of life in America. It doesn’t really have a direct impact on my day-to-day quality of life.The first two bullet points — and several others not mentioned — are the types of things I’ll notice and actively participate in while living in Spain. They are very specific, concrete and direct-to-the-point reasons to make a move. Because you can take a life you’re already good with and enhance it, thanks to a different setting and way of organizing and doing things.In fact, as much as we can’t wait for many things to be completely different when we move (new language for me, new culture for both of us with different ways to doing big and little things), we settled on Valencia, Spain, because it has some elements of LA and much of the California we have come to love, including proximity to the coast and a great climate.We’re picky about where we live. About our environment and the access it provides to certain things and how you actually access those things.The fact is — if you’re not as picky as us. If you don’t want/need urban, close to the water, lots of bars and restaurants, daily markets and other staples of the (urban or town center) Spanish lifestyle we’re moving for, you still can do well in the United States.You can do well in smaller and/or less urban parts of the country (see the image that anchors this article). Much of this conversation stems from the problems associated with trying to make your preferred life work in well-populated metro areas, particularly large-to-medium size cities.There are plenty of people who feel just fine in America. And they’re grateful. Some are even patriotic.There are plenty of others who owe America a little more than they’re willing to admit to.As I get set to leave, I do it with a clear head somewhere in between those two extremes.Receive a notification each time I publish a Medium article by <a href="https://roccopendola.medium.com/subscribe">going here</a>.You can also <a href="https://roccopendola.substack.com/medium">subscribe</a> to my Living The Semi-Retired Life newsletter where I chronicle my big decisions on lifestyle, housing and cost of living, which includes moving to Spain in roughly one year.</article></body>

Whether You Stay Or Go, I Don’t See The Point In Trashing America Incessantly

We know it sucks, but what are you actually going to do with that opinion?

**Source: Author / Finger Lakes, NY / September 2023**

As my wife and I enter the final phases to move from California to Spain, I have been following quite a few social media forums and other online accounts of people who have made similar moves. Or, at least, riff on making the move.

Other than a high level of rather repulsive, general and cultural entitlement (which I wrote about in a June 2023 Medium article), two other things about this whole move abroad movement bother me.

The first one makes me laugh.

The second one makes me sad.

#1 — So many people have so very little information about how to move — like the actual practical, concrete and logistical steps involved — even after they have apparently made the decision.

This makes me wonder if much of it is all-talk, no-action online fantasy. It also ties to the aforementioned sense of entitlement. As in, I don’t need to do real research. I deserve an answer to all of my questions in response to a social media post.

This said, I can understand why people feel like they want to escape and act as if they will be leaving the United States. Even if it’s not actually on their real life agenda. It’s an excellent daydream. And it makes you look to cool to your friends.

Plus —

In many ways, it absolutely does suck here.

However, moving isn’t always the answer. And, even if it is, you’ve got to put life in the United States in perspective.

Enough virtue signalling simply because you and your friends don’t like Trump (I don’t either) and you think capitalism is evil.

Which leads and ties directly to #2 — stop trashing America on the way out (whether you’re actually leaving or not).

My wife has literally wanted to move to Spain since she was 19. Slightly more than a couple decades later, she’s close to living that dream.

While I can’t claim the same timeline, I can say the writing that indicates I’d eventually do something like this has been on the wall for a long time —

I studied urban planning quite hard between 2002 and 2008. The professors in the programs I was in talked a lot about Europe, comparing the public space, built environment, transportation and prevailing culture to the United States. Absolutely an unfair comparison. But it helped illustrate — in the eyes of these planners, designers, geographers, sociologists and such — what was wrong with Los Angeles, right with New York, San Francisco, Boston and other traditional cities and emerging in Portland and Vancouver.

It took 14 years after leaving academia for me to make it to Europe. However, I knew all along not only that I’d love it, but that I’d probably prefer living there. The second I set foot in Italy in 2022, I knew this is the way it ought to be. Or, at least, this is how I prefer it to be.

Subsequent visits reaffirmed this sense and helped me conclude that Spain is the place for us.

That said, from a practical standpoint, one reason why the path to making the move seems relatively straightforward for us is because of my work.

I have been lucky enough to write online — in pretty much the same space — for the better part of the last 15 years. Because I don’t have anywhere near enough money to buy myself into another country, it’s my work that opened the door. At least for Spain.

Would I be in the position I’m in now career-wise had I been born elsewhere? Possibly, but not probably. I never lose sight of the fact that there are certain opportunities I have because I was born in the USA.

Yes, you have to seize the opportunities and so on, but the reality is I was born on third base. I didn’t hit a triple.

There are problems in this country. Obviously. Issues such as gun violence, homelessness, car culture and the general political environment all play a role in our decision to leave.

However, escaping the macro environment in the United States won’t necessarily do much to make meaningful change in your individual environment. That is how you feel about life and, more specifically, how you feel about waking up in the morning.

No doubt — some people move abroad or do something else somewhat extreme and it cures all ills. But I’d argue those are outliers. I’m a big believer in wherever you go, there you are.

You can talk shit about the United States and how bad it is all you want, but check yourself.

Are you in a position to talk shit — and maybe move — because you were freaking born and/or live here? Did your citizenship and subsequent benefits play any role in any success you have achieved? Or in your ability to be mobile?

Even more so, don’t think you won’t run into things you don’t like — maybe even problems — in another country.

You make the move because there’s something very specific you want and maybe even need in another environment that you can’t have in your own.

On a higher level, it does suck to live in a society where half of the nation (or so) might vote for Trump and where gun violence is rampant. However, when it really comes down to it, these toxic aspects of American life don’t really impact most people’s day to day.

I’m not downplaying them. I’m merely putting them in perspective.

If you manage to escape these things, but put little real thought into what waits for you on the other side — in your new country — you might just be creating a whole new set of existential problems for yourself.

Spain — or wherever — isn’t a panacea.

But Spain does have some things we simply cannot get in the United States and, where you can get some substandard level of them, you have to pay an arm and a leg you either don’t have or are unwilling to spend.

It has built environments focused on people and public space, which make walking and eating dinner and drinking in the middle of the street a way of life. There are no (or fewer) cars to get in the way, block your view or worse. You can’t overstate the impact this has on day-to-day life.
It has a relatively low cost of living on the things we like to do (see the above, plus grocery stores and neighborhood markets) and feel like we need to do to live the best second half of our life as possible (buy a nice, but modest and relatively small apartment within a few years). This doesn’t exist in most of the US we’d be happy living in.
It has — despite an element of the same left/right divide and sexism we see in the US — a more progressive political and social environment. You pay your taxes (income and Social Security) in Spain and you can use, enjoy and, as importantly, intellectually and theoretically align with what you’re getting in return.

To illustrate my point —

Without the first two, very practical points, there’s little use in highlighting the third. Because, truth be told, if I really had to, I could deal with that pitfall of life in America. It doesn’t really have a direct impact on my day-to-day quality of life.

The first two bullet points — and several others not mentioned — are the types of things I’ll notice and actively participate in while living in Spain. They are very specific, concrete and direct-to-the-point reasons to make a move. Because you can take a life you’re already good with and enhance it, thanks to a different setting and way of organizing and doing things.

In fact, as much as we can’t wait for many things to be completely different when we move (new language for me, new culture for both of us with different ways to doing big and little things), we settled on Valencia, Spain, because it has some elements of LA and much of the California we have come to love, including proximity to the coast and a great climate.

We’re picky about where we live. About our environment and the access it provides to certain things and how you actually access those things.

The fact is — if you’re not as picky as us. If you don’t want/need urban, close to the water, lots of bars and restaurants, daily markets and other staples of the (urban or town center) Spanish lifestyle we’re moving for, you still can do well in the United States.

You can do well in smaller and/or less urban parts of the country (see the image that anchors this article). Much of this conversation stems from the problems associated with trying to make your preferred life work in well-populated metro areas, particularly large-to-medium size cities.

There are plenty of people who feel just fine in America. And they’re grateful. Some are even patriotic.

There are plenty of others who owe America a little more than they’re willing to admit to.

As I get set to leave, I do it with a clear head somewhere in between those two extremes.

Receive a notification each time I publish a Medium article by going here.

You can also subscribe to my Living The Semi-Retired Life newsletter where I chronicle my big decisions on lifestyle, housing and cost of living, which includes moving to Spain in roughly one year.