Where to Find Your Secret Mentors
Maybe you have some but you just don’t know it.
Well, I am not talking about the mentors you find online who only give you advice if you are willing to pay a monthly subscription fee. Sometimes, they can give you some pieces of advice that work. But it’s like throwing stones in the dark, thinking that one or two will hit the target. Because in my honest opinion they don’t know you.
I mean, yes, you may share some good, bad, and ugly stories of yours with them. But that’s not enough to understand a person as a whole. When a mentor doesn’t know you as a person, doesn’t understand how you think, how could he/she help you fix your problems. Well, I am not talking about business problems. I am talking about life problems, the ones that make your world upside down.
You may wonder, Why do I need a mentor in the first place? I am all okay with myself. Nothing is wrong with me.
Hey, don’t be fooled by your current situation. Life can take a U-turn anytime, anywhere, and you may feel lost and devastated.
Your study may take the wrong path — you may experience an emotional shock — your parents may find themselves in a relationship crisis — there can be no job for you in the market — you may feel lonely and depressed because of your childhood trauma and so on.
What I am trying to say is no life is flawless as there will be ups and downs. So, when life hits you hard or knocks you down, your secret mentors can help you find your way. They can help you gather courage and fight terrible situations well. With their guidance, instructions, or directions, you can overcome your distress and feel connected and confident.
This feeling of connectedness is important, isn’t it? People make terrible decisions when they feel lonely and lost. So, if you have your secret mentors by your side, your life will be less troublesome and more beautiful.
But how to find the secret mentors? Where do they reside? Let’s know in detail.
Look Inside Your House First
I know it sounds cliche if I tell you to make your parents your secret mentors. But you must keep in mind that they are the people who know you the best. And take it from me, they are the only minority who always think about your good without any self-interest.
Of course, you may say that your parents don’t understand you because of the generation gaps or something. Trust me. It doesn’t matter at all. All that matters is when you are in any bad situations and don’t know what to do next, open yourself up to them.
They may not give you a quick-fix to your problems, but they can certainly make you feel that your feelings matter to them and they are always there for you.
If you can make your parents your secret mentors, you will feel less heavy in heart and can become more adventurous than ever in your personal and professional life.
Let me tell you my story, I have a few secret mentors, and my parents are among them. They are my secret mentors because they hardly know I made them my mentors. I share things with my mom and dad. While I was planning to quit my job last year, I told them upfront. I said I am not enjoying the working environment. So I want to resign and then need one year break to dedicate myself to writing.
My parents did not panic. Instead, they supported my thoughts yet also mentioned how will I deal with the financial thing as I got used to getting a paycheck on month-ends.
It’s always liberating to have mentors in your home. If you are not a victim of a broken family, and your parents are alive, I highly suggest you open up to your parents more. Trust me — it helps. When you share your distress with your parents, you get a new perspective from the discussion. It helps you to understand your situation better.
Your Friend With Books and the One With Guns
No, No! Not guns. I was just exaggerating. I mean, if you don’t feel that your parents can be your secret mentors, look into your friends because you spent a great deal of time with them. They know your ins and out and understand you better.
While choosing your secret mentors from friends, take two friends who are polar opposite in their life-views.
One can be among the first-bencher with all the bookish knowledge and good grades. This type of friend is the one who later becomes academics and spreads mighty theories about this and that. I know you have a few bookish friends. You may consider the closest one as your secret mentor. Talk to them frequently and be connected. When you face any problems in life, share with them and seek advice. Listen to what they say to you. Maybe, they will suggest some ways beyond your thinking.
Now, it’s time to open yourself up to one of your friends who didn’t care about bookish things in their life. The friend who only learned things hard way. The non-conformist, rebellious one. When you share your things with this kind of friend, they will give a whole new perspective. Maybe they will make you feel that the problem you are dealing with is almost nothing to worry about. Maybe they will tell your their stories which will boost your confidence and you can start thinking differently.
We all have some decent and some adventurous friends. Among them, you can easily choose your closest two and make them your secret mentors.
The Persons Who Gave You Different Lenses to See the World
Yes, I am talking about your favorite teachers: your role models, the people you look up to. If you are still a student, you have an excellent opportunity to turn your favorite teachers into your secret mentors.
We all have a few favorite teachers. I can remember mine. While I was a school student, I had three favorite teachers whom I looked up to. They are Mr. Shyamol, Mr. Rafiq, and Mr. Sadhon — the three heroes of my early years.
I loved them as teachers and as exceptional individuals. While writing this, I am feeling nostalgic. I loved them so much ( I still do) as I made them my secret mentors until I moved to university and lost contact with them. They helped me to make many decisions regarding my education and my life as a whole. They opened up new windows of life in front of me, and I peeped through them to amaze myself.
I strongly believe, if still possible, reconnect with your favorite teachers and talk to them. They will give you gems without asking, and you will find the direction you are searching for.
The Dead Ones Who Revive Themselves Through You
Sometimes, your secret mentors are dead, but they can still guide you through their works. If you believe in their invaluable and timeless lessons, you are never alone. You have no fear of losing track or getting lost.
If you are a believer, then the secret mentors can be the spiritual leaders, prophets, and their teachings. If you are a literature enthusiast, they can be your favorite writers, novelists, or poets.
Maybe they are no more on earth. But it doesn’t matter because when you feel low or need some help in your life, they are always by your side with their works. They live inside your head and show you ways towards a happy and meaningful life.
I can remember a book, Srikanta, by a great novelist Sarat Chandra Chattopadhyay. I read the book when I was two years shy to reach twenty. But it had a lifelong impact on me. That book still guides me in different situations as it changed my mindset about certain things including, relationships and living.
I have two more secret mentors; Leo Tolstoy and Rabindranath Tagore. I also find guidance from different religious and spiritual leaders, including Buddha, Muhammad(PBUH), Confucius, The Dalai Lama, and more.
Final Thoughts
Your parents, siblings, friends, teachers, your favorite writers, or religious leaders can become your secret mentors. They are your mentors for life.
Your subscription-dependent online mentors may or may not help you achieve your fancy personal or professional goals. But your secret mentors, whom you pay nothing, can certainly upgrade your thinking and help you enjoy the journey of life.
So, choose your secret mentors wisely. And when you encounter any problems in life that make your world trembled, seek help from them. They will help you find a way out for sure.
Thank you for reading.
You may read my following articles on Mind Cafe to know more about life and happiness