Where is That B*tch?
Was what I caught my boss screaming as I answered the phone
Caught being offensive
I responded with — “Jack,* I’m right here.” Completely acknowledging the offensive words I had just heard him shouting into the receiver. What’s more, he didn’t say anything like, “I wasn’t saying that to you. I was yelling at so and so.” He did nothing of the kind. He went in the opposite direction.
He said nothing. No apology. Not one word. This arrogant, entitled person proceeded to double-down on his anger and ask questions like I was a first-year law student in the scariest professor’s class. He was looking for a problem or a mistake to jump down my throat. I gave him no opening. In fact, I moved as slowly as I possibly could, slowing my breathing and taking total control of the situation to be in control of my emotions and myself.
I stayed in control of me
I was very much in a bullying situation, and I was completely aware of it. Fight or flight wanted to kick in — but I took some deep breaths and allowed my mind to take over. My boss wanted information from me, and he wanted me to handle something. He needed me.
And, if he keeps up this behavior, he will need to train a “new me” — and it takes a very long time to do that — if anyone would ever be willing to work for him. He has a reputation for being a jerk. I’ve barely tolerated him. Since I’ve been working with him, he has only gotten worse. I get thanked all the time for abiding by him (by others who don’t want to tolerate him). I’ve hoped that I will get some special bonus or combat pay. I’ve suggested it, but no one has ever followed through.
Here’s the thing: By being such an awful person, he has taught me how not to be. I am the exact opposite of him. As I grow my own business, I know what I don’t want — mainly because of his behavior, treatment of others, attitudes, and work ethic.
Plan to leave the toxicity
I am on track to leave this company in the first quarter of 2021. I only have to tolerate the abuse for a little while longer. I’ve lasted for several years. The result will benefit not only me but my clients and everyone I interact with for the rest of my days. I feel gratitude for all that I’ve learned — even if it was negative. So, in that sense — it will turn into a positive. Ninety days or so isn’t that long.
*Jack is not his real name.
Jennifer Friebely is a New York-based content writer, marketer, and speaker covering stories from personal development, bully bosses, the Law of Attraction, marketing, and productivity to politics and music to whatever idea strikes. She has a 30+ year background in marketing and advertising and holds a BA in Political Science. Email her at [email protected] or visit www.successpicture.com.