Where Are You Rushing?
Slow Down…
The other day, I was walking towards the park, looking forward to basking in the sea of green that fills the landscape, even in January.
This park is actually an urban nature reserve, and it’s big enough to hold several wonderful species of wildlife, including two herds of deer which roam freely throughout.
It was the weekend, and I had no plans for the rest of the day. But as I was strolling down the street, I became aware of my steps’ rigid, rushed nature. I wasn’t strolling… I was marching!
I was rushing to get to the park, even though nothing was pressing me to get there.
Soon enough, I realised that this automatic behaviour was also present in many other parts of my life.
Do you ever find yourself in this automatic mode of operation, where you’re mindlessly rushing?
A habitual, almost robotic type of rushing that runs on autopilot, even when there’s no genuine need for it?
Rushing to arrive at your destination;
Rushing to get your current task done;
Rushing to get to “the next thing”, whatever that might be.
Well, if you relate to this you might be wondering where this phenomenon comes from, and why it’s here in the first place.
A few personal insights
The reasons for this behaviour kicking in can be different for everyone, but as we’re all human, we’re bound to find similarities in our experiences.
As such, I will share the insights I have from observing this habit, in the hope that it might shed some light on your own experience.
I will also suggest a few ways you can approach this habit, which in my experience are making a healthy difference.
The rushing is essentially a “program” that kicks in when there’s not enough going on to distract you from your inner discomfort.
For example, let’s say you experience some sadness which hasn’t been processed yet. Maybe you even feel this as a physical sensation somewhere in your body.
This feeling wants to be experienced, so it can finally be released. But you aren’t willing to let it show up. You’re avoiding it, and as such, your brain seeks a distraction from the perceived danger.
However, if there’s nothing in particular that can provide a distraction, you rush whatever you’re doing, in an attempt to “outtake” that feeling.
In time, the brain records this behaviour and automatically plays it out whenever it feels threatened by inner discomfort (which it rejects).
We’re under the illusion that by physically rushing, we can surpass our psychological experience. But in reality, no matter how fast or far we run, our psychology always comes with us…
So let’s explore how we might approach this unhealthy habit in ways that start to heal it and perhaps instil a healthier alternative.
1. Notice it
Like with any habit we want to change, the first step is to become conscious of it. Simply by noticing the “program” when it shows up, we naturally start to detach from it and take its fuel away.
You can practice catching yourself when you automatically go to this behaviour and simply be aware of it. Once you’ve noticed the habit playing out, you can go to the next step:
2. Slow down…
No matter how strong the habit is, you’re always in charge of your motor functions. As such, you can simply choose to slow down and see what it’s like to be in charge of your own rhythm (instead of running on autopilot).
You can even experiment with your speed and deliberately choose to do things faster or slower, decrease or increase the speed, or keep it constant. All those deliberate changes and variations serve to disrupt your habitual behaviour and loosen its grip.
3. Enjoy what you’re doing
When we’re in this habit, we’re not really with whatever we’re doing. But once we detach from it, we can choose to enjoy what we’re doing. Being present with our current activity, whether that’s playing with the dog, taking a shower, or washing the dishes.
We can waste so much of our life living in the mind instead of being with whatever we’re doing… Thus allowing for such programs to take the space and run our lives. But we can always wake up from this sleepwalking, and choose to be with whatever we’re doing — even if our activity involves a chore we’d rather pass!
4. Find your innate rhythm
There are of course many situations in life where we have no choice but to shift into a higher gear. However, I’m not talking about such situations here, but an unhealthy habit which ultimately doesn’t serve you.
You can therefore give yourself permission to quit this kind of rushing, and see if you can fall into your innate rhythm of doing things. Let your body find its natural speed, and tell you what it’s comfortable with…
Final thoughts
To end with, I will give a few examples of situations where you might experience this compulsive rushing, and suggest ways to reframe those experiences.
Writing — if you’re like me and notice your hand tensing up when you write, see if you can consciously relax. Writing is ultimately an art, and it can be a very satisfying and even therapeutic activity if you allow yourself to enjoy its process.
Brushing your teeth — as this is one of those daily necessary chores, you might find yourself rushing to get through it. But again, see if you can relax your hand if you notice it frantically pressing against your teeth… The point is to give them gentle care, not to scrape them off entirely!
Cooking — this one’s another hidden art. But if you find cooking to be a bit of a chore and notice the rushing habit here, see if you can find enjoyment in the process. Connect with the senses of touch, smell and taste as you prepare your food, and relish in the “colours” they bring into your life.
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