When You’re Home Alone and Having Chest Pains

Summary

The author is dealing with the stress of managing their father's affairs while he is in rehab recovering from strokes, facing challenges with their sister who has power of attorney, and experiencing physical symptoms of stress.

Abstract

The author's father is in rehabilitation after suffering strokes that have impaired his speech, mobility, and cognitive abilities. The father's recovery is not progressing as hoped, and he is frequently agitated, repeatedly calling his child over non-issues. The author has been handling the father's bills and is now transferring this responsibility to their sister, who holds power of attorney but has previously been uninvolved. The author expresses frustration over their sister's reluctance to contribute financially despite her greater wealth, especially when she plans to use their father's funds for purchases. Additionally, the author is experiencing significant personal stress, including chest pains and difficulty breathing, exacerbated by work-related issues, leading to a feeling that their body is on the verge of a "walkout" in protest of the overwhelming demands.

Opinions

The author is overwhelmed and frustrated with the situation regarding their father's care and their sister's lack of contribution and support.
There is a sense of resentment towards the sister for not sharing the financial burden proportionally, despite having more resources.
The author feels a strong sense of responsibility and duty towards their father, as indicated by their willingness to spend personal funds without keeping track, simply because "he's my Dad."
The author believes that family members should support each other without keeping tabs, especially in times of need.
The physical manifestations of stress, such as chest pains and breathing difficulties, are interpreted by the author as their body's way of signaling the need for a break or change in circumstances.
The author sympathizes with their own body's response to stress, likening it to workers seeking union representation to address unfair working conditions.

Not to mention trouble breathing

Dad is still in rehab. At the rate he’s going, he won’t be out this week after all. He’s constantly agitated and nothing anyone says or does will calm him down. Because of where the strokes were in his brain, he now has damage to areas that control his speech, ability to use his limbs, and his thought processes.

For those of you who are old enough to know what records are, part of Dad’s brain is like a needle stuck in a groove. It just keeps playing the same thing over and over and over again. He had called me 3x in 30 minutes over the same thing that wasn’t even an issue in the first place. I’ve been telling him for a week now that his bills are not a problem, that I had it under control. And 15 minutes later the next phone call and then the conversation would replay itself all over again.

Now my sister is involved.

Oh, joy.

She has POA, and we had been keeping her out of it. She would never give up the power, but she doesn’t want to do any of the work. Tomorrow I give her both of his checkbooks and all the bills for the month. Good riddance. If only that would stop Dad from blowing up my phone.

It won’t.

Control Freak, since she can write checks on his account, will go to Kohl’s tomorrow to buy him some new pants and pay for them out of his account.

I’m sorry, but waaaaat?

She has a shit ton more money than I do, and yet I have no clue as to how much I’ve spent out of pocket so far to keep Dad going. Wanna know why?

Because he’s my Dad.

When did families start running tabs FFS? You can’t buy your own Dad 2–3 pairs of pull-on exercise-type pants? Why does HE have to pay for it? This is the same man that let YOUR boyfriend move in with us when his family kicked him out.

WTF

So, between it all and me firing someone Sunday and firing someone else today, my heart and lungs are this close to a walkout until a union is established. I think they think that the whole thing is bullshit and they are being worked way too hard.

I happen to agree.