When Your House is Ridiculously Clean

Summary

The text contrasts the perspectives and experiences of "Messies" and "Neat Nicks," with a personal narrative from someone who identifies as a "Messie" and struggles with maintaining a clean home.

Abstract

The article delves into the personal struggles of an individual who identifies as a "Messie," detailing their discomfort in overly clean homes due to past experiences, their upbringing in a hoarding environment, and the challenges of managing a house with pets and children. The author admits to not having the "cleaning gene," often leaving tasks unfinished and feeling judged by those with a propensity for neatness, known as "Neat Nicks." Despite this, the author has found a method to manage their household clutter by dedicating specific times for cleaning and organizing. The piece also touches on the tension between the desire for a tidy space and the judgment that can come from both sides of the cleanliness spectrum.

Opinions

The author admires clean homes but feels more comfortable in less pristine environments due to a traumatic experience in childhood.
"Messies" are portrayed as individuals who may struggle with organization and cleanliness due to various factors, including a busy lifestyle, a tendency to start multiple projects, and a potential lack of the "cleaning gene."
"Neat Nicks" are seen as judgmental and sometimes intrusive, offering unsolicited advice or taking it upon themselves to clean and organize a "Messie's" space.
The author suggests that "Neat Nicks" could also benefit from being less obsessive about cleanliness and more focused on living in the moment.
There is a recognition that a balance must be struck between cleanliness and comfort, with the author finding a personal solution to maintain their home without succumbing to the pressures of being a "Neat Nick."

Messies vs. Neat Nicks

A Diary entry from a Messie

I visited your house today, and I must say that it was beautiful. I couldn’t help but compare it to mine. There was nothing out of place anywhere in your home. Believe me, I noticed. There were no dog toys scattered around or cat claw marks on your furniture. You could eat off of your floors. I bet that no one had ever tracked mud or grass in your door and lived to tell about it. Even your dog was clean and smelled so, so good. I bet she never has an accident on that shiny floor.

I admired your house in all of its beauty, but I wasn’t comfortable. When I was twelve, I visited a home like this. I accidentally tracked some grass into my friend’s house. I didn’t mean to and didn’t even realize that I had. My mother would have never said a word if this had happened at our home. But this friend’s parents both read me the riot act as if I had committed a crime. I never went back. I guess the cleanliness of their floor was more important than a young girl’s feelings. It’s been fifty years, and I still remember how her parents yelled at us.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not advocating for dirt. I just don’t have the cleaning gene. I was raised in a house full of stuff because my mother and father were what some folks would call hoarders. They were raised during the Depression and didn’t believe in throwing perfectly good stuff away. They would offer to take other people’s stuff if it meant that it wouldn’t be put in the trash. We call it upcycling now. Back then, we just called it junk. My mother had her own special name for it. She called it her treasure. It isn’t easy to keep a house clean when it is full of stuff. Plus, the housekeeping burden fell to me then as it does now, and I hate cleaning with a passion. I get especially annoyed at having to clean up after adults who won’t pick up after themselves.

I’m still not a great housekeeper. I have projects that are half done all over the house. I have a lot of pets, and you will find claw marks on the door jambs. My furniture looks worn. I’ve had plenty of kids and pets to wear it down. Watch out for those dog toys now, and sometimes there are “accidents.” I try to stay on top of things but don’t always succeed.

I have found Neat Nicks to be very judgemental. I no longer invite many people to my house because it makes me extremely nervous. Will they look somewhere and find some dirt? What will they see? I once had a co-worker go back to work after visiting my home and tell everyone that my house was a complete mess. Word got back to me almost immediately. I immediately confronted her as it had hurt my feelings.

I discovered that there is a name for me. I am a messie. I don’t seem to have the ability to keep my house tidy. My mind jumps from one thought to another, and I will stop what I am doing to start doing something else. I tend not to finish tasks, at least right away. I dread drop-in company. Please call before you come and give me an hour or ten days. Take your pick. I am afraid to see the censure in your eyes.

I’ve discovered over time that many Neat Nicks are not only judgemental, but they think that they should help us messies by showing us the error of our ways. Either they offer “helpful” suggestions, or they dive right in and start cleaning and organizing the space the way it “should” be done.

My good friend is a Neat Nick who was raised by a messie mother. Once my friend became an adult, she tried to help out by cooking and cleaning. Her mother later told her that she felt like her space was being invaded. My friend was just trying to help out and to earn her keep.

I wonder how a Neat Nick would feel if I went to her house and showed her the error of her ways? What if I said, live a little, leave some dishes in your sink? So what if the laundry is behind. Did you see that rainbow outside? No, I am not saying that Neat Nick should become a messie. I’m not saying anything like that at all. I am saying that you can be so particular, so OCD no one is comfortable in your home. I know that you may feel the same way about mine. It may bother you to see an open book on the table or some dishes in the sink.

You need to know that there is a point where enough is enough, and I feel like it’s time to clean and organize. I have discovered a trick that is working well for me now. I wish that I had thought of it earlier in my life. I set a certain amount of time during the day to do housekeeping. For instance, before COVID, I was able to turn on my favorite television cable show, and I spend that hour cleaning until it was over. I did not stop to go to the computer or to look through a cool magazine that I came across. I started in the kitchen and went from there. I would also spend another hour of the day cleaning out junk. I allowed myself to work anywhere I wanted for that task. I might work in the kitchen drawers one day and a closet the next. I didn’t have to finish the job unless I wanted to. The point was to clean out unneeded junk.

Now that my husband is home all day, I have modified my cleaning. I still shoot for an hour a day, but I can’t do it using a tv show. I look a the clock and tell myself to keep cleaning until an hour is up.

No one will ever be able to accuse me of being a Neat Nick, but I can live with how my house looks now. I meet my Neat Nick friends at the gym or for lunch.