When You Think You Know Someone

Summary

The article discusses the complexities of truly knowing another person, emphasizing that we often only know what we want to know about others, and that life and relationships are inherently uncertain.

Abstract

The piece reflects on the illusion of knowing someone deeply, suggesting that people have multiple layers to their identity, with the deepest aspects often remaining concealed. It references a Japanese proverb that describes three faces people present to the world, with the third face remaining private. The author posits that despite the impossibility of fully understanding another person, relationships are akin to a game of Russian Roulette, where one must take risks and be vulnerable to form genuine connections. The article encourages embracing uncertainty and the act of surrendering parts of oneself to foster deeper bonds, acknowledging that the true nature of relationships cannot be fully grasped.

Opinions

The author implies that our knowledge of others is limited to what we are willing to see or learn, and we often ignore the unknown aspects of a person's character.
There is a cultural perspective presented, highlighting the Japanese viewpoint on the multifaceted nature of human identity.
The article suggests that taking risks and overcoming fear is essential in relationships, likening the process to playing Russian Roulette.
It is expressed that mutual sharing and vulnerability are key to knowing someone beyond surface level, and that this vulnerability is crucial for a relationship's survival.
The author emphasizes gratitude in relationships, appreciating their unpredictable nature and potential for growth or dissolution.
The text advocates for the acceptance of uncertainty as an enjoyable and intrinsic part of life, rather than something to be feared.

The Terrible Truth of Life

You think you know someone. But mostly you just know what you want to know.

- Joe Hill

Our Japanese friends have honed it into a proper mathematical structure.

The Japanese say you have three faces. The first face, you show to the world. The second face, you show to your close friends, and your family. The third face, you never show anyone.

You can’t truly know someone. End of story.

Despite this truth, how do you know someone?

Well, a simple answer is Russian Roulette. Yes, the simple game where you take a chance on life and pull the trigger yourself.

The game is scary. And it is true for life and relationships.

You have to take chance on the life of the relationship. It may survive or not. But, you can’t have fear lest you make true what you fear most.

Coming to the part where you only know what you want to know.

We as humans try to find what’s common between us and form on the basis of that. It is understandable, we would ask people question about only that.

You don’t know what you don’t know 😅. You can never ask questions about that.

You know people convincingly on the basis of your knowledge and nothing mor than that.

More than that, whatever you know has been shared in equal amounts by the person in front of you and you.

Once that equality ends, so does the relationship.

Take stock of your relationships everyday. Be grateful. You don’t know what it will bloom into or boom into. Whatever it is, however it is, you will never know. You can never know. Uncertainty is the best part of the life.

Try to know them more than you want to know. Surrender some part of yourself to them and in return, they will do the same.

Be vulnerable!