When You Need to Get a Grip, Try Loosening Up
Stressed? Overwhelmed? Exhausted?
A lot of us are.
I used to be a bit of a stress case. A worrier. And maybe a little controlling.
I thought that by being in control of everything I would lessen my stress levels and I would have an easier life.
Newsflash: worst idea ever.
In the end all this did was cause more stress and drama in my life, alienate me from friends and social circles, and cause my blood pressure to rise, literally.
It took me a lot of painful lessons and a long hard road to finally realize that the way I was living was hurting me and sabotaging many aspects of my life.
I finally learned that the way to really get a grip on life was actually to loosen up.
“Go with the flow, and allow things to unfold as they will.”
It’s a page taken from many ancient Eastern cultures and religions such as Buddhism and Taoism.
We must let things flow naturally and not force or resist life in any way.
Even the bad things.
Especially the bad things.
The art of loosening up and embracing flexibility is something I have worked on consistenly for over a decade. Its small, compounding steps and skills that have accumulated over time. These skills have benefited my life more than possibly any other skill learned in the last decade.
It’s not just a chilled-out philosophy but a scientifically-backed approach to a happier, healthier life.
Hold on Tight or Fall to Your Death
Imagine holding onto a rope bridge for dear life, afraid to let go. That’s how many of us approach life — clinging onto the illusion of control, thinking it’ll keep us safe and secure.
But here’s the kicker: that tight grip is actually causing resistance to the natural flow of your life.
Ask any spiritual guide or someone who has walked the spiritual path and they will be the first to tell you: accepting life as it happens is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves.
You’ve probably known someone like this before- the person with the easygoing attitude, who smiles a lot and speaks slowly. They just emanate that “chilled-out” vibe.
They may or may not be wearing hippie attire or have a flower in their hair.
Much knowledge can be gained by tapping into the wisdom of ancient civilizations and religions, but there’s data to prove these strategies are more than pseudo-science.
There are also detrimental biological effects when we don’t adopt these behaviors.
How Your Body Suffers
A study published in the Journal of Behavioral Medicine found that individuals who embrace flexibility in their lives experience lower stress levels.
So basically the more you try to control every little detail, the more cortisol (the stress hormone) you’re pumping into your system.
Every morning your body starts producing cortisol to aid in the waking process. It follows our circadian rhythm, peaking in the morning and gradually decreasing throughout the day.
That is, unless we intentionally give it a reason to spike.
When we stress ourselves out, or perhaps allow ourselves to stress out, our adrenal glands start pumping cortisol into the system, which triggers a domino effect of events in your body.
This fight or flight response will also cause an adrenaline dump, all of which your liver will have to process and filter out later. Fun.
“If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.”
― Lao Tzu
Enough with the Illusions
Let’s face it: it’s an illusion that we are entirely in control of our lives.
To some extent of course we have control over our words, actions, and decisions, but ultimately life often throws us some curveballs that we just have to deal with.
Worrying about issues never helps.
Ever heard of the illusion of control? It’s a psychological phenomenon where we overestimate our influence over external events. Researchers at the University of Texas conducted a study that revealed those who acknowledge the limits of their control reduce stress and foster a more relaxed mindset.
That means that acknowledging that you can’t control everything isn’t a sign of weakness — it’s a ticket to less stress and a healthier mind and body.
The Creativity-Relaxation Connection
Loosening up isn’t just about stress reduction; it’s also a gateway to creativity.
I personally don’t perform well under pressure. If I get overwhelmed it leads to frustration and never ends well. Stress is the #1 cause of these instances in my life.
On the other hand, when I spend time in nature or in quiet, low-stress environments, I end up not only feeling better overall but often in a productive or creative mode.
It’s why taking a walk when you are feeling stuck or blocked on something will usually get things flowing.
Our best ideas and ‘aha!’ moments come in low-stress environments.
Data backs this up: studies suggest that individuals who adopt a more relaxed approach are more likely to tap into their creative potential.
Flow state doesn’t come when we are white-knuckling our way through something.
Strategies for Embracing Flexibility
- Mindfulness Moments: Incorporate short mindfulness sessions into your day. A few minutes of deep breathing or meditation can snap you out of a low state and into a flow-state.
- Learn to Pivot: Life is unpredictable, and that’s part of the beauty. Instead of resisting change, learn to pivot. Adaptability is a superpower, and we are all capable of it.
- Embrace Imperfection: Perfectionism is the enemy of flexibility. Understand that it’s okay not to have everything figured out. Embrace imperfection as a stepping stone to growth.
Less is More Lifestyle
Finding your flow state and letting go of control leads to a more relaxed, creative, and fulfilling life. Embracing flexibility is a practical tool to help us get through life more enjoyably.
There is no benefit to trying to control every detail of your existence. Don’t take the joy and excitement out of life.
Life’s a dance, not a military march. When the music plays, loosen up, sway a little, and let the rhythm guide you.
Buckle up, loosen up, and let it flow.
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