When You Had No Boundaries, But Finally Say No

Will You Survive?

You are visiting your relatives house and you sit down in a comfortable looking chair. But wait, was anyone else going to sit there? You stand up momentarily, looking around to see if anyone wants your chair. You realise that everyone is seated and luckily, there isn’t a game of musical chairs going on, so you don’t think sitting on this particular chair will cause a fuss.

Your uncle promptly comes over to you.

Uncle: “Tea?”

You: “Yes, please!”

What on earth have you just done! You hate tea! This is the 56th time you’ve accepted your uncles request to make you tea. It’s getting exhausting. But you can’t stand to offend your uncle, after all, he is probably just desperate to seem useful. What else can he even do, apart from making tea? You can’t think of one thing, beyond speaking and moving around! If you don’t accept the tea, you will be denying him of his only skill.

The tea arrives. As usual, it is somehow as cold as Antarctica. You have no idea how he manages this, especially when he didn’t intend for it to be iced tea. You have to find a way to make it look as if you’ve consumed the tea without actually drinking it. Usually, you sneak outside and pour it into the garden, but the garden is blocked off today, as the outdoor deck is being repaired. Your clothes start to moisten as the sweat you’re experiencing from stress makes the fabric bind to your skin.

Then you think of it, a fantastic idea! Since your clothes are already wet and the tea is far from hot, you might as well pretend to accidentally spill the tea on yourself. Surely your family won’t expect you to wring it out of your clothes.

You pretend to practise some dance moves and whip your right arm above the table, knocking the tea cup right in the middle. The tea starts to dribble down onto your clothes. You begin to feel your face scrunching as you pretend to be completely devastated.

You: Oh my goodness! My tea! I was looking forward to that tea, especially because it is always so good, definitely the best tea I’ve ever tasted. Well, the best beverage in fact. I’ve never had a drink that is as satisfying and fulfilling as this tea. I’m so devastated.

Uncle: Oh my! We better get you cleaned up! Don’t worry at all. Go into the wardrobe and grab some clean clothes, in the meantime, I’ll make you another tea!

You feel like a rock formation that’s about to crumble. Now, you’ve drawn so much attention to yourself and the tea, that there’s no way you’ll be able to get out of drinking the second tea!

After you get changed, you see the tea waiting for you at the table. You can’t stand to look at it. Even the presence of the teabag is getting on your nerves. You have visions of throwing the teabag towards the ceiling fan and watching the crushed leaves falling onto your family members heads. Somehow, the thought is temporarily satisfying.

But you must think quickly! The only thing you can think of is an emergency with a friend. You will pretend that your friends boyfriend just broke up with your friend and they need immediate company. That way, no one will expect you to stay and drink the tea.

You pick up your phone and realise that you will call a friend and just pretend that they are telling you about their breakup. In a frantic state, you loudly announce that a friend is calling you. You then sporadically click on a contact that you think is your friend Natalie. But, this is the final straw. In your crazed state, you have miss clicked and accidentally rung your uncle, Nathan.

Your uncle picks up the phone, but promptly hangs up when he realises you called him.

Uncle: What was all that about?

Your stress takes over and you lose control of yourself

You: I’m sorry I… I just pretended that my friend rung me because I was really stressed. I don’t like tea but I didn’t want to offend you. I know you really like it when I drink the tea you make. I know it’ll ruin your year if I don’t drink the tea! I just didn’t know what else to do. I’m so sorry I didn’t drink it.

Uncle: Are you alright? So you’re telling me you never wanted tea when I’ve been offering it to you for years? You don’t have to say yes, I won’t get offended. You know, I can make other drinks, like coffee!

You: I love coffee! May I have some?

Uncle: So, would you like tea?

You: No thank you, I’d like some coffee please.

Uncle: That’s better!

You’re ecstatic. You genuinely love coffee. You feel as if you’ve discovered a whole new world. One where your liberty is in tact and you can say that you don’t want to drink certain things! You’re so excited for the future, where you don’t have to live in a sea of excuses.

This story was inspired by my overthinking and fear of saying no. Although this scenario sounds ridiculous, I often feel a pang of guilt when rejecting something as small as a drink. Luckily though, I don’t go to these lengths, but it does cross my mind!

Do you struggle with saying no, or are you assertive? Leave a comment!

Sometimes, I avoid people, as well as drink offerings! Check out why, below!