An inspiring message for empaths

When You Feel Washed, Rinsed, and Hung Out to Dry

Sometimes we have to learn to politely say “no, not today”

My washing machine is on its very last leg of the lifespan given to it by the manufacturer and soon it is to be returned to the Kingdom of White Waste but before that happens, I have been trying to squeeze the last bits of wash and spin out of it. The machine repairman informed me months ago that it was “no good…..need new washer.” I politely ask him to fix what he could and leave the rest to me.

So for a few months now I have become very good friends with my washer. I coax it gently when it starts its normal racket during the spin cycle and surprisingly each time it starts to rattle and roll, I would say “ok, you are doing a great job, thank you” the noise will subside and the spin cycle will produce some almost dried clothes for me to hang on the line. I thank it every time. It has never answered back but I know it hears me.

The relationship is not quite the same with my Gen Z daughter. She dumps her load in and leaves it to do its job and each time it rewards her to heavy, dripping wet clothes are the end of the cycle. She would complain and ask why would I not replace it. My usual reaction is a shrug and a “it still has some life left.” Not amused she would set it to drain and spin several times, trying to get her load as dry as possible.

One day, after about three days of attempting to spin dry a load of clothes with the machine groaning and rumbling and complaining, I went to see what she had inside — if she was washing boulders or something. I opened the door and say that she had about three loads of clothes in the wash. All colours and textured mixed together, dripping wet and looking sorry for themselves. I got a basket and took everything and divided the wash into three. I spun each load and then presented her with a basket of washed and almost dried clothes.

She had just given the machine more than it could manage. I gently suggested to her that she wash less at a time and she gently suggested to me that I buy a new washer.

The experience of the washer gave me a lesson to share.

Sometimes we want to wash too many things at the same time. We want to solve everybody’s problems. We are people pleasers and those that enjoy siphoning energy are always waiting with a new basket of problems for us to wash, rinse and spin dry.

The end result is us being like my old washer — all washed up and spun out and unable to manage the challenges of life optimally.

We really should take smaller loads. Tell that friend, ‘not today’; that family member that your washing machine is already at capacity and you really cannot deal with any more laundry. Create more circumstances where you have fewer problems to solve. Lighten your load and deal with issues in manageable amounts and before you know it, everything would be washed, rinsed, spun, and hung out to dry.

I. Trudie Palmer One Love