When You Don’t Know What to Do…Take Good Care of Yourself

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friends and family <a href="https://psiloveyou.xyz/how-im-cultivating-platonic-intimacy-through-non-sexual-touch-12ee0ed54422">in the form of platonic love</a>, or I set it loose to wander in fantasy as I dreamed of my future with a new partner.</p><p id="a8d5">As I struggled throughout September, however, with these unexpected issues, my sexual energy waned and waned until I was powering my writing with fumes. If you’ve been reading my work for a while, you’ve probably noticed the themes shifting — that my overwhelming desire for love and pleasure has momentarily veered into explorations of heartache and disappointment.</p><p id="5197" type="7">For me, one of the first things to go in times of deep stress is my sexual energy.</p><p id="5358">I have tried, as I always do (as <i>many </i>women do) to approach this with a spirit of giving. Maybe if I do more, things will be okay. Maybe if I graciously accept the unacceptable, life will bend for me. Maybe if I make other people happy, I will find my joy again.</p><p id="0015">And as always, I’m finding that my theories and self-sacrifice just aren’t working. The situations still suck. They are still painful. I still feel lost — even lost to myself.</p><p id="aacf">As I’ve attempted to find my way back, I’ve been reading a lot about traditions and folklore relating to this time of year. We’ve just had a full moon which is known in the U.S. as the Hunter’s Moon or the Blood Moon due to its association with the time of year when people procured the game they needed and killed the livestock they couldn’t afford to sustain throughout the winter. It’s a time of storing root vegetables, covering the windows, knitting a new scarf.</p><p id="d1da" type="7">…as always, I’m finding that my theories and self-sacrifice just aren’t working.</p><p id="7ae4">All I know to do right now is try to gather the “food” I’ll need at this stressful time. Stock up on kombuchas, dark chocolate, and ingredients for hearty soups.</p><p id="4e09">Carve out time in my calendar to take baths, practice yoga, get extra sleep, and rub my homemade vanilla cocoa butter balm into

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my legs and feet.</p><p id="5dbd">And maybe through all of this, it’s even important to prioritize wearing clothing that makes me feel good about myself rather than my usual sloppy (but comfortable) yoga pants and baggy cardigans.</p><p id="5f65">I’m not ready to make any decisions yet. I definitely don’t know what to do next. I don’t even have the energy to think about it.</p><p id="7a9c">But maybe a little care for myself will help restore me. Maybe I’ll be able to find my way again through all of this hardship. Maybe I’ll even regain the strength and clarity I need to make decisions about what comes next.</p><p id="c96c">And if not…at least my skin will be soft and I’ll be well-rested.</p><p id="b949">© <a href="undefined">Yael Wolfe</a> 2019</p><p id="e76c"><b><i>If you like my work and want to stay updated, <a href="http://eepurl.com/gAndgb">click here</a> to subscribe to my newsletter.</i></b></p><div id="8943" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/what-do-your-panties-say-about-you-7c46d3a0ce4e"> <div> <div> <h2>What Do Your Panties Say About You?</h2> <div><h3>Yes, what we wear communicates who we are.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*SgWdH5uxgVK6q15MBLEG5g.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="79d0" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/this-good-girl-just-wants-to-be-bad-d040082f9d5"> <div> <div> <h2>This Good Girl Just Wants to Be Bad</h2> <div><h3>Sometimes, you’ve gotta break all the rules.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*j2Rqft2VM6Df6OLUUJJjeQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

You won’t find your way back without a little self-care.

This past summer was a magical time for me. As the sun grew stronger, my life literally and figuratively seemed to be getting brighter. I was so happy with my home and my garden. I loved my work and was finding new outlets for my writing. And for the first time in years, I felt like a woman again — open-hearted, sexually renewed, and ready to try again at love.

Even as I marveled at these changes, I had an instinctive feeling that as soon as the season began changing, some part of the impending sleep of winter would descend upon me, too — just as I was waking up. I wasn’t thrilled with that idea…yet it felt like a long time away so I didn’t think much about it.

As summer came to a close, a series of unexpected events occurred: a worsening situation with a family member, the delivery of very bad news, a major professional disappointment, and a deeply emotional and turbulent time in a close relationship.

For me, one of the first things to go in times of deep stress is my sexual energy. All summer, I’d been channeling some serious mojo and using it to fuel my writing — whether my writing was about sex or not. And what was left of that energy, I gave to my friends and family in the form of platonic love, or I set it loose to wander in fantasy as I dreamed of my future with a new partner.

As I struggled throughout September, however, with these unexpected issues, my sexual energy waned and waned until I was powering my writing with fumes. If you’ve been reading my work for a while, you’ve probably noticed the themes shifting — that my overwhelming desire for love and pleasure has momentarily veered into explorations of heartache and disappointment.

For me, one of the first things to go in times of deep stress is my sexual energy.

I have tried, as I always do (as many women do) to approach this with a spirit of giving. Maybe if I do more, things will be okay. Maybe if I graciously accept the unacceptable, life will bend for me. Maybe if I make other people happy, I will find my joy again.

And as always, I’m finding that my theories and self-sacrifice just aren’t working. The situations still suck. They are still painful. I still feel lost — even lost to myself.

As I’ve attempted to find my way back, I’ve been reading a lot about traditions and folklore relating to this time of year. We’ve just had a full moon which is known in the U.S. as the Hunter’s Moon or the Blood Moon due to its association with the time of year when people procured the game they needed and killed the livestock they couldn’t afford to sustain throughout the winter. It’s a time of storing root vegetables, covering the windows, knitting a new scarf.

…as always, I’m finding that my theories and self-sacrifice just aren’t working.

All I know to do right now is try to gather the “food” I’ll need at this stressful time. Stock up on kombuchas, dark chocolate, and ingredients for hearty soups.

Carve out time in my calendar to take baths, practice yoga, get extra sleep, and rub my homemade vanilla cocoa butter balm into my legs and feet.

And maybe through all of this, it’s even important to prioritize wearing clothing that makes me feel good about myself rather than my usual sloppy (but comfortable) yoga pants and baggy cardigans.

I’m not ready to make any decisions yet. I definitely don’t know what to do next. I don’t even have the energy to think about it.

But maybe a little care for myself will help restore me. Maybe I’ll be able to find my way again through all of this hardship. Maybe I’ll even regain the strength and clarity I need to make decisions about what comes next.

And if not…at least my skin will be soft and I’ll be well-rested.

If you like my work and want to stay updated, click here to subscribe to my newsletter.