When you can’t do anything
About a situation.
By: Anna Rozwadowska, M.A., Ph.D
Stuck in a rut? Is indecision draining your time and energy, or are you at the will of an external power that has taken over a situation over which you no longer have control? Then, it is the case that you can’t do anything about it, or, at least your perception tells you that this is the case. This often appears in people’s lives at crossroads, sustaining the proverbial ‘fork in the road’ analogy.
If faced with an impossible situation, one must sit down and think of a strategy instead of brining more chaos into one’s life. If it seems impossible to turn left or right, up or down, then it’s time to create a new direction; try South East. If relationship problems are weighing you down, then think outside of your self- of isolation, one where you have stored your framework for being in life. Frameworks are meant to be challenged and broken, and paradigms to be shifted. It is my belief that situations that seem impossible as simply re-routes to something better, and that they stimulate the thinking mind in ways we could
Tough choices are considerable these days, and, while the multitude of available options to deal with them has increased, as has our knowledge about our options, it really depends on the circumstance as to what resources are available to us at any given time. And feeling trapped is the worst. It’s comparable to your choices as a ship sinks in the frigid waters of the Atlantic Ocean. Sink, swim and sink, and if possible, hold on until the Titanic is almost underwater and a dingy becomes available. Minimum wages cut off your circulation as a member of a family, as do being an immigrant in a foreign country, same as choosing between two soul mates who don’t know what they want in life. It’s impossible, or is it?
There are a number of things or steps that I would count as essential in a backed up situation. First, look at yourself outside yourself and ask, what is really going on here? What am I missing and what is the truth behind the situation. Once you have a firm grasp on it, then write it down, if you have not. Many people find visuals, such as a vision board, to be very helpful in decision making. And, there are psychological benefits to writing and expressing your thoughts and feelings as well. Third, look at your options, once again focusing on what you would say to another person, because your personal viewpoint may be clouded. What type of advice would you give to your friend in the same situation? What about understanding and listening to yourself, as you would do to another. Seriously, talk it out, even with yourself. Once again, there are many psychological benefits to ‘talk therapy.’
For example, according to Stephen Fry, “If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. “Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather.” “Try to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness, and loneliness they’re going through. Be there for them when they come through the other side. It’s hard to be a friend to someone who’s depressed, but it is one of the kindest, noblest, and best things you will ever do.” So, be a friend to yourself, you deserve it. Be kind and nurturing and don’t beat yourself up too much, your options are limited, remember? It’s bad enough that you can’t see a way out, but to limit your compassion or critical thinking at this point is truly sabotage.
It is time then to make decisions. However, you are limited. How well do you know yourself? The point is that the more we know ourselves, the more likely we are to understand our responses to a situation, and perhaps look at the shortfall there. Talking to someone who can offer a different perspective can help as well. Note it down and make decisions. I always said, energy is everything. Even our thoughts create energy, and decisions do too, as do circumstances within which we find ourselves.
Tap into your sense of intuition, and try and listen to the voice within. Is it telling you that you made the right choice? Is it ambivalent? Is the feeling in the pit of your stomach heavy? Pay attention to your body, as it carries your emotions and energy behind them. This is the basis for many practices such as meditation, yoga, cranio-sacral therapy, Reiki and more- it is about energy attunement. Once you can see your options clearly, then we have to make a decision. Remember, not making a decision is a decision. However, it impedes progress, and perhaps regress, but regardless it is not energy in motion. And to make any significant change in our lives, we need energy in motion, plain and simple.
Perhaps a self-help book or searching the internet for individual stories may help. Empathy and sympathy go a long way.
The reason behind empathy being so strong, is that you are able to see yourself in another’s situation and belong there. Side by side, you walk together in the circumstance, not alone. Being a spiritual person, and I know that even a Spirit by your side, upon invocation, can be a great source of comfort and help. Walking together or alone, the more that you address something, despite limited resources, the more your tool kit grows. It’s as if acquiring the perfect bit for your at home project; eventually you find it for the bracket. A solution may not be perfect or feasible, but try anyways.
Blue Rodeo- Try YouTube video:
In trying, you are creating your own reality. In not trying, you are creating your own reality. It’s up to you really. But one has energy behind it, and the other is stagnant. It is my belief that energy in motion is everything we need on this planet to make a difference. The same with your life, it applies. Eventually, the apple falls on your head, the light bulb turns on. And then, are options widen, we become different people, our scope in life turns around, and we make another choice, that’s life. When backed into a corner, it seems endless and impossible. That is when you have to remind yourself that upcoming, things will get better. THINGS WILL GET BETTER. As your options widen, so do you as an individual, growing. You become truly, a better person because even if you make a mistake, your tried, and you put something into the Universe which did not exist before. And that is worthwhile, that is attentive, that is what makes the world go round.
Many blessings on your journey. And remember, be kind to yourself, for, as Renzo Gracie put it, “we are all fighting something.”
Anna Rozwadowska 2022