RELATIONSHIPS

When We Elevated Our Friendship To ‘Potential New Lover’ Status

I knew we’d never be the same again.

We’ve been apart for months. During our absence, we became more present for intimacy than ever before. Now we have a chance to see each other, and I wonder what it’ll feel like when I touch you. Our warm embrace must be that much more heavenly.

I’ve never known the feel of your warm bare skin. I didn’t wonder about that before. Now I want to know how it feels to brush up against your cheek, almost kissing your moist lips. We walk the line between friends and lovers, and my anticipation builds.

We’ve altered our relationship with what we’ve shared long distance for nearly a year. Words changed everything. We opened up a portal of sexual possibilities. The thought of touching you no longer feels casual. I keep imagining our fingers brushing as we walk, then we’ll hold hands, and you’ll kiss me. I can feel it coming. It’s no longer as simple as a walk on the beach.

From the sexual to the sensual, all the way down to the depths of my heart, we dove in, and now we’re swimming in the ocean of potentiality. Exploring you as a lover, even for fleeting moments, shifted me into a new dimension.

You can pretend we’re still just friends. Go ahead and try that. I bet you a hundred dollars you won’t be able to shake what we started. We flipped a switch, and now we won’t be able to forget it.

I’m a little mad at you because you keep changing your mind. Your last decision to remain platonic felt so final. But I must admit you didn’t convince me yet. I don’t believe we’ll be able to ignore the new layers we’ve added.

And you participated in the shift. It isn’t an unrequited hopeless pattern I conjured in my mind. I saw and heard your words, chosen to convey how much you care for me. I’ll be damned if I’m going to let you try to sweep that away because of your fears.

If we weren’t already friends, I might not be brave enough to speak frankly. But I’m confident you want me, and you’re still thinking of what it’ll be like to touch me.

What if we were bold enough to go for it? Would we dismiss our perceived roadblocks? I think you’re trying to convince yourself it won’t work out to ensure we won’t get hurt. Well, we can’t guarantee anything. But I’m clear on how I feel, and I’m aware of the risks.

I’m willing to step into the unknown with you. I know you appreciate a woman who takes responsibility for her feelings. I know you want a woman who states her needs and takes charge of her desires. I’m that woman, only a short drive away — for now, anyway. And we don’t have to think too hard about it.

I noticed you backed away after I expressed my love for you and became available for emotional intimacy. Then you leaned in again, only to back away once more. Remember how good it felt to lean in? Let’s do more of that.

The doors we opened won’t be closing any time soon, so why not walk on through? I’m waiting for you to look into my blazing blues and try not to hold my gaze too long. I’m waiting to walk beside you and try not to think of touching me. I’m ready to fail that test with you. I give you full consent to look for long enough, to hold me for the time it takes to feel our souls meet.

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