Self-Empowering Life Lessons│Consciousness │Confidence
When We Dim Our Light to Follow the Crowd, We Lose Our Way.
Do you know where the crowd is going?
Self-empowering life lessons are hard. These complex life lessons advance our personal growth and expand our consciousness. Self-empowering life lessons are usually several lessons within a lesson.
But when we get them, understand them, and apply them to our self-awareness journey, we build confidence, self-esteem, and resilience despite adversity.
One particularly tough life lesson involves our commitment to show up for ourselves with the intent to shine, be great, and succeed.
Unfortunately, when you make this commitment, some people closest to you may not support you. And often, when you succeed, they won’t be happy for you.
They will try to convince you that you need to slow down, dim your light, and be a little less so that everyone else can shine or catch up. I’ve experienced it a few times in my life…
Slow Down
“What are you trying to do? Are you joining everything? I’m not here for all of that. I’m here to get that piece of paper, and that’s it?”
Those were the words of one of my closest friends when I joined the NAACP Collegiate Chapter, our university’s theater players, and the Student Union during my first year of college.
I wanted to experience college life; however, she felt uncomfortable with my aspirations. I decided to forge ahead.
In that process, I met new people. A group of like-minded students became the “crew,” and we are still friends today.
My former friend chose to drop out of college the next quarter, and she never returned.
That Won’t Work
“Most of these people that claim they’re making money online aren’t making any real money. If I had your smarts, I’d try to get a good government job. Isn’t that why you went to college?”
My cousin attempted to discourage me from freelance writing. “Keep your job and do that on the side,” she said.
“I’ve tried that. I won’t have time,” I said.
A few years later, she “secured” what she believed was a good-paying job. And she lost that job due to no fault of her own. For a while, she sold beaded bracelets on eBay (I found that quite interesting).
She did very well and had no problem showing me her success online, but her husband wanted her to find something “more secure.”
She has another job she hates and has no time to create and sell her beaded bracelets.
No Big Deal
“Oh, so they endowed you as a Scholar?” My former boyfriend asked. “I’m never impressed with those so-called endowments. It’s just a title and a stipend.”
“No, it’s more. I’m working with families. The program helps increase the literacy rate by engaging the family in family reading time.” I said, feeling a bit defensive.
Why was he giving me a hard time about this? I thought.
“You don’t need an endowment for that. People go to schools and libraries and read to children all the time.”
“I’m not reading to children; there’s an entire curriculum and a Socratic method used to —”
He hunched his shoulders. “I worked and earned my Master’s. I know what story-time is.”
We broke up.
The last time I heard, he works for a finance company he hates.
“Don’t wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get you’ve got to make yourself.” — Alice Walker
Yes, it’s a hard life lesson. Trust and believe there are lessons within this hard life lesson—a life lesson demonstrating how you must stand for yourself even if you have to stand alone. You have to show up for yourself as you.
When we live from that authentic place within us, we get steps closer to the greatest version of ourselves, and we manifest our dreams.
With this life lesson, we also learn…
Being less won’t make anyone else more.
Someone close to us may ask us to be less than our best at one time or another in our lives. Those close to you may try to discourage you from your dreams. You may think they are doing so to protect you, prevent you from being disappointed, or perhaps, they don’t believe in you.
More often than not, that isn’t the case. Those who discourage you might think they are giving helpful advice or bringing you back to reality, but their words come from a place of fear.
They may know if given support and encouragement, you will succeed. If you succeed, your success will be a constant reminder of all the things they didn’t attempt due to fear and complacency.
Right now, they feel good about where they are, and your success disrupts their false sense of contentment. Moreover, the naysayers have already decided who you are and how far you can go, so if you disturb that paradigm and step out of your assigned role, they won’t know how to react to you.
Despite all of this, you still have to show up for yourself. If that’s a lot, then be a lot. Fearful people sitting on the sidelines of life are eager to tell you to:
🚫 Stop promoting your work because you’re a sell-out,
🚫Stop networking with established and successful people because it’s “brown-nosing,”
😞Give up on starting a business you’re passionate about because most businesses fail,
💔 Don’t date that person because they’re out of your league.
You can’t slow down to follow the crowd.
When you are requested to slow down or stop, it is because those who are asking can’t keep up with you.
As you live your dreams and create the life you want to live, you will be requested to slow down. It won’t sound like a request. Most of the time, it will sound like a warning or a dismissal of your accomplishments — all designed to distract and throw you off course.
You’ll know it when you hear it because you will be discouraged from your true desires and encouraged to be like everyone else.
Following the crowd rarely gets us closer to our heart’s desires or helps us manifest our vision of purpose in life. In other words, follow the crowd, and you will lose your way in life.
Have you ever been at the threshold of something great, you can feel it, you told someone else about it, and they discouraged you? You listened to them, and then somehow you veered off the path?
Did you wonder what happened? What distracted you?
While following the crowd, no one asks, “Who’s leading and where the hell are we going?”
Dimming your light won’t help others shine.
Each time someone sees you being honored or celebrated, their response is, “it doesn’t take all of that.” Know your light is shining bright. They want to cover their eyes but can’t because they don’t want to miss it.
They don’t know whether to hate you or congratulate you. Either way, don’t dim your light for anyone.
In true partnership and collaboration, others can shine with you, but they must tap into their inner light — their star power — to do it.
Don’t Play it Small; It Won’t Make Someone You Love Great
Limiting your potential, closing the door to the field of infinite possibilities, and hiding your genius, won’t make anyone else great.
Some of us have played small too long, which hasn’t made anyone around us any greater. So why hold back? Why sit on the bench when you’ve got the skills to play the game and win?
I’ve Learned My Lessons.
Like so many, I’ve played it small, dimmed my light, slowed down, and stopped because I didn’t want to leave behind someone I loved or admired.
But I discovered through victories and failures that not everyone close to you wants you to be great.
Be great anyway.
Fam, I’m curious. Have you ever played it small to please someone else? Have you ever dimmed your light to prevent hate or jealousy?
Please share your thoughts in the comments.
