When Was the Last Time You Skipped Coffee?

On mental strength and discomfort

I know it’s a trendy topic but just bear with me.

One of my biggest takeaways from 2023 is how unbelievably powerful our mind is.

Throughout the year I overcame multiple setbacks and did things I never thought I’d be able to do.

I started working freelance for the first time, significantly increasing my responsibilities after 3 months.

I worked with incredible entrepreneurs just through word of mouth, in areas outside my expertise, despite major self-doubt.

I quit a hospitality job because it had a toxic work environment.

I joined a group for a 6 AM morning run in Bali and ran my first 5km.

I went scuba diving again almost a year after my open water course, without a refresher, even though I was extremely nervous to do so without an instructor (for the first time).

Nothing good in life comes from being comfortable. Think about it. Watching Netflix on the couch while snacking on chips is comfortable. Staying an extra half hour in bed is comfortable. Not quitting that job is comfortable. Not talking to that stranger is comfortable. Not leaving your home city is comfortable. Staying in a relationship that no longer works because you don’t want to be alone again is comfortable.

Once I realized how much I thrive in uncomfortable situations and the impact it has on my growth and mental strength, I started to add discomfort to my life deliberately.

Running

After running my first 5km, I started joining a weekly event in Australia — Parkrun — and running 5km every Saturday, consistently improving my personal best over time. I’ve decreased my time by about five minutes since I started running in October.

Running 5 kilometres is uncomfortable for me. It doesn’t come naturally. It becomes easier the more I do it, yes, but this doesn’t really apply if I’m constantly trying to beat my best time. The cool thing is, as I’ve mentioned in the Parkrun piece, running is a mental game. Not so much physical. It’s all in your head. And it requires a lot of positive self-talk, something I’ve become quite good at.

Today was hands down my hardest run so far. I was already in pain when I started, which doesn’t usually happen, and I started struggling earlier than usual. My internal dialogue went something like this: You’re writing about mental strength this week — this piece was almost finished by the time of the run —, so walk the talk. Since you’re in more pain than usual, it’s the perfect chance to prove to yourself how powerful your mind actually is.

I ended up doing my best time at the event.

Days without caffeine

Ah, coffee. I love coffee. Not only its effect, but the smell and taste too. I’m one of those weirdos who drinks black decaf — I like coffee that much.

Now, I do like caffeine. I haven’t yet gotten to a point where I drink multiple coffees a day, but I was drinking at least one every morning. I perform better — be it at the gym, working, writing... I’m faster, sharper and more energized.

So I decided I was too addicted. My body had created a dependency — as it does. I didn’t quit coffee altogether, I’m still well aware of its benefits, but I stopped having it every day. There are now 2–4 days every week that I only have decaf or skip coffee altogether.

The first day I didn’t have coffee was tough. Uncomfortable. Just like any other withdrawal. I was tired, my brain was foggy, and I had a massive headache.

I don’t get as many withdrawal symptoms anymore, but it’s still hard to choose not to have a coffee when I know that I’d be sharper or that the workout would be easier if I did.

Fasting

During the first half of 2023, I started doing 20-hour fasts regularly (almost once a week). I then attempted my first 24 hours, felt great, and broke my fast with a fleshy Indonesian coconut and corn on the cob (I know, where’s the protein?).

In December I felt like doing a long fast again. I came across a video highlighting the benefits of doing a 48-hour fast, and jokingly sent it to a friend: “Do you reckon I can do 48?”

“Try 36 first,” he said.

And, just like that, it became real. I was going to do it.

I had late dinner on a Friday and only ate around 10 AM on Sunday. The fact that I work in a restaurant from Thursdays to Sundays made it a little more challenging, as I was surrounded by food the whole day.

My coworkers are wonderful. Mid-dinner shift I was handed a seasoned bowl of ice (with a pinch of salt) for me to ‘snack on’, giving me the feeling of munching on something instead of just drinking water. It was a joke, a very funny one might I add, but it helped.

Everything is easier when you’re surrounded by awesome people.

The fast went by without me ever getting very hungry. Hunger came and went, but it never got unbearable. My energy levels were ok too, I ran Saturday morning (as usual), then worked on my feet all day, slept like a baby and still worked from a cafe on Sunday morning.

I successfully completed the 36 hours and broke my fast with a delicious tuna ceviche and corn tortilla chips.

Dry January

It’s common for people to do January sober after engulfing themselves in alcohol during the holiday. That wasn’t the case for me. I hardly drank during Christmas and New Year, which means I didn’t start the year hungover. In fact, I had a fantastic day, which is why I chose not to drink this month (rather than abstaining due to excess). It sets the tone for what promises to be an amazing year.

Anyway, it can be hard to refrain from alcohol when you work in hospitality. Cocktails — which usually cost about 23 dollars — are free, and it’s common practice to have shots when having a hard night.

It’s still proven to be the easiest among the above.

This is your sign to do a dry month this year.

Ice baths

My favourite. I’ve become such a fan of a good cold plunge. Seriously.

I tried my first-ever ice bath in September, at a free yoga event by the beach. I was quite nervous, but someone held my hand and guided me through the 60 seconds — just breathe, it’s all in your head, your body is safe, you are safe, …

The second time I did it I was surrounded by first-timers who were scared to go in. I thought it was only fair if I went first, showed them how easy it was, and guided them afterwards, even though it was only my second time. And so I did.

Fast forward a couple of months, I have now a recovery membership and am doing contrast water therapy about four times a week. Four rounds of four minutes in the jacuzzi and four minutes in the cold.

I do it more for the discomfort and the dopamine hit than for the recovery itself (I don’t think I train hard enough to need recovery).

Unfortunately, it has become quite easy for me now, even though I always ask to be assigned the coldest pool — I just can’t be inside a pool knowing that there is a colder one available. Nevertheless, it’s wonderful and has become a daily highlight for me.

I also enjoy guiding people through their first time because, again, it reinforces how strong our minds are.

First I see them struggle, jumping in and out of the cold every 30 seconds. Then, when we’re in the jacuzzi at the same time, they usually ask me how I do it. I tell them about how it’s all in their head, how they have to focus on breathing normally, how they’re safe, and how it only becomes easier after the first minute and first round. I hype them up.

You probably guessed what happens next — they last the entire four minutes on the following round. They thank me, but it was all them.

The best part is, you get to feel yourself getting mentally stronger.

I almost enjoy the pain while running. I almost enjoy asking for a decaf at my usual cafe, or saying no to a tempting iced coffee at work when the bar is making one for each of us. Or saying no to staff food (twice) because I’m fasting, or no to shots after a long shift because I’m not drinking this month. I almost enjoy staying an extra round in the cold water because of how uncomfortable it makes me feel.

Pushing beyond your (perceived) limits is so important for mental strength and personal growth. Discomfort acts as a catalyst. You’ll find self-awareness, resilience and an improved ability to overcome challenges.

What are you doing to push your limits?

Discomfort is a powerful avenue for transformation. Take it ;)

Hi, my name is Rosa, I’ve been travelling solo for over 1 year now. I share stories, experiences, or musings every week.

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