When Trusting the Process Goes Wrong

And ways to get back on track

I used to have what some call a “fast metabolism.” That was my way of justifying my inability to put on muscle. For most of my life, I looked like a personified stick figure no matter what I ate. Empty tubs of GNC weight gainer can attest.

It seems life has a funny way of coming full circle. Now a 6 piece wing combo means another roll for the dad bod.

I recently completed my third elimination diet. For anyone who hasn’t tried one, they are 30-day challenges where you deprive yourself of anything worth eating. In other words, you trade your soul and friends for mostly whole foods.

Why?

Basically to regain control of bad eating habits like bingeing, unnecessary snacking, and 4th meal.

The first elimination diet, over a year and a half ago was naturally brutal. I looked like Gollum salivating when I saw anything processed. Since then I’ve gotten my cravings partially under control.

Initially, I naively thought that since I made it 30 days, I might as well be like Forrest and keep going. There was no reason to. Limits are put in place for a reason. I dropped from 190lbs to 172lbs in 30 days.

Mentally I reached another level of awesome. My physical state however told a different story. I was a pathetic shell of my former self. Rapidly dropping weight doesn’t come without side effects. I lost fat yes but along with it, years of hard-earned muscle.

I lost other things. My drive to do anything active was nowhere to be found. The gym was my second home. That first month I went twice. Worst of all was the effect it had on my libido or lack thereof.

I didn’t feel human.

As I gradually emerged from seclusion, my friends were appalled by my appearance. Rather than receiving glowing compliments, I fielded concerned questions.

I brushed them off like a seasoned vet until someone pointed out that I look like Skeletor. Not exactly a morale booster.

I was so conscious about what I put in my mouth, I became orthorexic. I was developing a disorder that I didn’t even know existed.

I was label checking like a fiend so dining out was inconceivable. Friends knew better than to invite me out to a bar.

I didn’t trust the process, I became obsessed. I thought I was delaying gratification but I lost sight of what my goal was. I lost more weight than I wanted and my goal to get healthy was mutating into something ugly.

When you get so granular it’s easy to forget what your purpose is, causing you to spend energy on irrelevant things.

Here are some ways to help keep your vision at the forefront as you work to achieve it.

Have A Crystal Clear Reason

Whether you want to start a business or get fit, you’ve already decided to improve yourself. The idea inspired you.

While this is commendable, it isn’t the full equation to live that ideal life. Having more freedom or money doesn’t entirely answer why you want to start a business. Dig deeper.

Ask yourself why as many times as it takes to reach the foundation of your desire. It will be uncomfortable and it’ll make your brain sweat. Once you’ve discovered what that is, keep it visible. Post it above your laptop if you have to.

When you’re determined to fulfill a burning desire, obstacles won’t even feel like obstacles. When you have a clear goal, you start working out the subsequent steps rather than spinning your wheels on the minute details.

Don’t Take Yourself So Seriously

We often hear that writing is a long term continuous project until we die. So then why do we expect so much from ourselves so quickly?

On many occasions, I spend more time thinking about the aspects of writing rather than actually writing. By the time I sit, I’ve built up so much pressure that I’m paralyzed.

If that wasn’t stressful enough, there’s all the external noise telling us how there’s no better time than now to do whatever it is we’ve always been dreaming about.

While I understand that there’s “no time to waste” and being productive is important, we’re not machines with unlimited resources.

Set up a schedule that works for you. I’ve noticed that a couple of uninterrupted hours a day where I can devote my attention produces far better results than waiting for an entire day to free up so that I can dupe myself into thinking I’ll produce 5 masterpieces.

Find your rhythm, produce thoughtful pieces, and then take the time to enjoy other interests.

Reward Yourself

Instant gratification isn’t wrong. You shouldn’t feel guilty or ashamed for enjoying the fruits of your labor. Just like anything else, find a balance that works for you.

When I was eliminating sugar for a month, I would stay away from Ben and Jerry’s but I might watch a couple of episodes of my favorite show.

If you’re staying on track to goal completion, celebrate your small milestones. Look over your previously written work. If you cringe, you’re getting better.

Grinding all day with no end in sight wondering why you’re not a millionaire yet doesn’t do you any service. Additionally, you start to forget why you wanted to be a writer in the first place. Doubt and resistance creep in delaying your growth.

Take pride in your work. Give yourself credit. It’s amazing creating something from a mere seed of an idea.

Trusting the process only works when you keep your goal clear and specific. Make it fun yet challenging. Break it down into manageable steps and plan out a weekly schedule. Maintain a bright line between trusting the process and tunnel vision. Dedicating all your time and energy on the latter is just another form of procrastination.

Goals require time and effort but I’ve found that the ones I gravitate to are the ones I put serious thought into.