Self-Growth

When To Stop Investing In Yourself

It can get out of hand

“Invest in yourself.”

That’s a buzz phrase I’ve heard too many times.

It’s darn annoying when it’s said by people who have something to sell you. I mean, come on, man, am I the only one who smells the conflict of interest here?

I spent thousands this year trying to build a business as a creator.

There were lessons learned, and all of them are valuable. I wouldn’t have my journey any other way.

We do need to invest in ourselves to grow as human beings. But that’s only true up to a certain point. The line between investment and frivolous expenses can get murky pretty quickly if we’re not careful.

What Investing in Yourself Isn’t

Investing is a word that’s unfortunately been used interchangeably with spending. Those are two mutually exclusive concepts.

You invest with the expectation of getting more than what you put in. You buy stocks hoping to double your money. You sign up for weight loss programs so you can be healthier. You study a new skill to get a job or learn a trade that will increase your income. Those are investments.

Buying a flashy car so you can invest in your good looks is not an investment.

The difference between a real investment and a manufactured one is in the tangibility and value of the results. Just how much value can something add to your life?

If the only things you get from something are vanity points and short-term satisfaction, that’s not an investment. That’s a whim that a snake oil salesperson convinced you to think of as an investment.

Beware.

But Real Investments Are Not Always Investments, Either

How many stocks or crypto have you bought this year? How many business courses have you signed up for? And how many books on diets are on your shelves?

On their own, buying things that are supposed to make us better people aren’t bad. They won’t come at you and eat you alive. The problem starts when buying these “investments” becomes an insatiable addiction.

But how would you know that your investing habits have turned into something far more dangerous?

It’s often hard to tell because you’re probably experiencing tunnel vision as well. You may be so enthralled by this fantastical version of success in front of you that you fail to see the reality in the periphery.

But there’s something that can give you a hint that things are getting out of control.

The Casino Mindset

I know people who have lost their minds to gambling. It’s a real thing.

Thankfully, even after living part-time in Las Vegas for a little over a year and being exposed to a casino at every corner, I never contracted this condition. But I’ve sat in enough slot machines to know how powerful the pull of fast rewards can be.

I start by being cautious, making minimum bets at a time. And then the machine lets me win a few dollars several times. That’s when I get emboldened. Next thing I know, I’m making higher bets.

The slot machine would give me bonuses from time to time, and I’d respond by betting a little more each time. Soon, I’m betting the maximum, and that’s when the tides change.

I begin losing.

I’d think it’s a fluke and bet again. And again. And again. Before I knew it, my money would be gone. Both my capital and my winnings. I’ve never lost much money in gambling, but I can see how easily I could.

Just like certain things we see as high-return investments, gambling equipment are neutral objects. If you don’t want to gamble, then don’t. The decision to sit in front of a slot machine or a gambling table for the first time is totally up to you.

The thing is our ability to reason decreases as we get hooked onto something. What takes over is our primal instincts, or what many of us know as dopamine.

Things start to go downhill when dopamine kicks in.

Anyone Can Be a Victim

Stop if you’re reading this and telling yourself, “Oh heck no, I’m never falling for any gimmicks!”

Not yet, maybe.

You’re still in the rational mode. Good for you. Try to keep it that way.

But the truth is, anyone can fall prey to the allure of high-risk, high-reward propositions.

Perhaps you’re trying to start a business online, and you come across somebody promising you’ll make $10K per month for the rest of your life if you just signed up for their course.

Maybe you’re trying to lose weight, and some self-proclaimed guru tells you on TV that you can burn 50 pounds of fat in X weeks if you follow their method (that’ll cost several hundred bucks a month).

We all have desires. Marketers call these “pain points.” And they’re damn good at poking at your pain points.

All it takes is stellar copywriting and marketing tactics to lure you into something. I’m not saying all sales are shady. Some products and services are valuable and can improve your life.

But persuasion is a double-edged sword.

It can be used for good. But it can also be used for manipulation and deceit. At first, you might think you’ve struck gold, but reality sets in when you don’t get the promised results.

And once you get disappointed, that’s when you’ll keep seeking the next dopamine hit, convincing yourself you’re only one step away from THE solution you need. The cycle repeats when you fail over and over again. Then you'll realize how far down the sewer you’ve gotten once you’re already at the bottom.

How To Know When It’s Time To Stop Investing in Yourself

The best time to stop the cycle of addiction masquerading as self-investment is before you decide to invest. Because once you’re suckered in, your power over your desires starts falling exponentially.

Before you sign up for the next best thing, ask yourself the following questions:

1. Who is selling me this idea/product/service?

• Credibility matters. Don’t buy into things that don’t have a proven record of success.

2. What do others have to say about this thing? Are there third-party reviews or feedback from people I know that can attest to the value of this thing I’m attracted to?

• Anyone can sell anything as the Holy Grail. What do real people have to say?

3. What is the question I want to answer?

• Everything that’s being sold to you is targeted toward your pain point. What is that pain point? And is it really a pain point or just a minor discomfort you can shake off on your own?

4. What are the features of this thing?

• Go beyond the flowery copywriting and sales pitches. What does this thing actually do? Don’t be afraid to be pesky. Ask questions and clarify. People with a superior product won’t mind addressing your concerns.

Asking these questions will deprive you of an instant dopamine hit, but they will save you loads of time, money, and sanity in the long run.

Is It Ever Too Late To Get Out of Bad Investment?

Never.

But as with any addiction, it’s hard to stop throwing money into something once you get hooked.

It helps when you have another person or a community who can call you out when you’re going overboard. But not all of us have that privilege.

That’s fine. Let your instincts guide you. A gut feeling will tell you that something is askew. Tune everything out and listen to yourself. If you think something’s wrong, there's a near-certain chance you’re right.

The hardest part about distinguishing between true self-investment and feeding an addiction is that there are so many gray areas.

Buying courses to improve yourself or pouring money into assets are naturally perceived as good things. And they are. They’re not the same as snorting coke or smoking meth, which have no intrinsic value.

Your challenge, therefore, is not knowing the difference between good and bad. Your challenge is in understanding where the value of a good thing stops.

One course on a topic plus another one to supplement that topic is not an addiction. Even if some courses cost you thousands of dollars, they’re valuable if they serve a purpose.

But multiple courses talking about nearly the same thing? That’s a red flag.

And what if you are buying market shares every paycheck? OK, great. No problem there.

But have your losses gotten to a point where you’re now dipping into money that belongs to other parts of your budget? Not good. Time to rethink your investment strategy.

The key is to be aware of your behavior and how your environment is changing. Life starts to suck when you invest in yourself the wrong way. You’ll know.

Step back and zoom out.

Yes, you have your work cut out for you. But know that no matter how many bad choices you make, you’re only one enlightened decision away from turning it all around.

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