When there is no ME in “ME” Time, Then it is not “ME” Time.
"ME" time is when you give it to yourself and not to "others."
It was a tough day at the office. I wrapped up everything, picked up my bag, got into the car, honked all the way to make sure people made way for me, reached home. And then asked my spouse to allow me some ME time.
I stretched my body over the couch, TV remote in one hand and smartphone in the other.
And that’s where I got it wrong.
Sounds familiar?
The window adjacent to a bus seat allows me to see the world differently.
And, one of those perspectives is to observe but not judge.
A ride on a mode of public transport is unique. You are amongst so many people, yet you are alone. You can do what you want. And, no one is bothered about it.
And, that is precisely what we do. We spend a lot of ME time listening to music, watching movies, web shows, scrolling social media feeds, taking phone calls, and so on.
But, what if I tell you that you might be wrong about this ME time.
ME time doesn't mean spending time with others. It means becoming a traveler — a traveler of SELF.
A Traveller's Mindset
Tom Kelley and David Kelley touch upon this point in their book — Creative Confidence. They say thinking like a traveler opens up the creative side of ours.
Notice that when you travel to a new place, you experience everything with close attention. Be it the road signs, the language on the advertisement boards, the names of the roads, and the local cuisine. Tom and Kelley say that during our travel time, we become Sherlock Holmes. We intensely observe everything to make sense of a world that is foreign as well as known.
You enter the "ME" zone when you observe yourself with the same intensity.
"By adopting the eyes of a traveler and a beginner's mindset, you will notice a lot of details that you normally might have overlooked. You put aside assumptions and are fully immersed in the world around you. In this receptive mode, you're ready to start actively searching out inspiration. And when it comes to inspiration, quantity matters." — Tom Kelley & David Kelley, Creative Confidence, p. 79
And, that's why as the quantity of ME increase, the quality improves.
ME Time means:
- Time with SELF. 100%.
- When you wake up before everyone else and spend 60-minutes of complete SELF-time. To me, 30-minutes of journal writing and the other 30-minutes of physical exercises do the trick.
- When you add another 30–40 minutes to learn something new. I do this while I am on a bus to my workplace. I read from a minimum of two books.
- When you list down your goals for the day and prioritize them. An item-by-item to-do list helps me to align and prioritize.
- When you are not rushing back home in the evening to sit in front of the television, and instead, your evenings help you grow, create mind space, and fill your bucket with happiness.
Spending Time with SELF is Necessary
Forts are famous amongst tourists because they let you deep-dive into the rich history and see life from a completely different angle. I explored one of such beautiful and massive forts on a recent vacation. The vastness and the history behind these massive walls can only intrigue you for more.
One stair led to the other, one room to another, the walls were brightly painted, windows were decorated, ceilings were high, gates were the epitome of design, verandahs were large, and places of worship were adorable.
As we moved from one section of the fort to another, I entered a small room. The entry was through a tiny door, and three windows on each side decorated the inside walls. The room was breezy, and the wind's noise was nothing short of music to the ears.
As I gazed outside, I could only see the expansive grasslands, mountains, villages, beautiful ponds, and just a few signs of habitat. The windows allowed me to see out and also to reflect inside.
A few moments spent there allowed me to speak to myself.
And, that's what I felt was the ME time I was missing for a long time.
Consciously building a place and time that allows your mind to wander is a secret sauce for creating the necessary ME time.
Daydreaming often led to a bad reputation. But a wandering mind can be a good thing.
Researchers Jonathan Schooler of the University of California, Santa Barbara, believes that our brains often work on "task-unrelated" ideas and solutions when we daydream.
"Our brains can make cognitive leaps when we are not completely obsessed with a challenge, which is why good ideas sometimes come to us while we are in the shower, or taking a walk, or a long drive." —Tom Kelley & David Kelley, Creative Confidence, p. 83
And, That's Why All this While, You Were Wrong About the ME Time
ME time is special because it helps regain the rhythm.
- Social media is not ME time
- Movies are not ME time
- Screen time is not ME time
- Reading NEWS is not ME time
- Calling a loved one is not ME time.
- Spending time with others is not ME time.
ME time strikes when you meet YOU.
ME time is all about spending time with SELF.
ME time helps rejuvenate and capture our energy.
Achieve ME Time by:
- Learning something new every day.
- Maintaining silence.
- Sitting idle and getting bored.
- Assigning more weightage to yourself.
- Increasing your self-awareness.
- Be mindful of everything.
- Going for a solitary walk.
- Meditating.
Creating a space for ME time needs a change in perspective. And, this change in perspective can only be achieved when you put the SELF-time on priority.
Also, don’t be apologetic about the ME time.
Conclusion
The next time you are unsure what to do with your free time, spend some ME time.
Kill that urge to open the social media feed or smell the TV remote; instead, close your eyes and look at your breath. Probably, you will meet yourself at the corner.
Spend as much time as you can with this person, and that would create the best of ME time ever.
Nishith is an author and creator of a unique self-development platform — "Be Better Bit-By-Bit."
Grab your copy of his debut book — Be Better Bit-By-Bit and listen to his podcasts Be Better Bit-By-Bit and 10 Bullets — 100 Words Book Summary.
