When the Lights Go Out: Catastrophic Consequences of a Technological Collapse — Humor
It was like waking up in the Stone Age. I raised my head and shouted at the sky. Why me, and why did this have to be? The world had turned upside down, and I was broken and lost in a foreign landscape. In the streets, I heard people crying out, with terrible voices ringing out sadness and despair.
The world had learned so quickly because bad news always travels faster than light. Take that, Einstein.
Yesterday, my world was whole and enchanted. The world seemed to move with a blessed grace.
Then, in moments—small shivers of time—my world changed, and the deepest, most heartbreaking reality that I had ever confronted stood staring me straight in the face.
My internet was down.
Frantic, I stood looking at my computer, waiting and praying for that sudden page shift as my browser enacted that small technical miracle connecting me with the world.
But nothing.
Zilch.
Nada.
Diddly-squat.
I thought, hopefully, all I have to do is wait, and then I thought, OK, I will check out CNN and read a little of the news while I am waiting.
As my fingers moved automatically with an ingrained will of their own, I suddenly stopped, frozen in time and space, with the shocking realization that there was no CNN either.
Stunned, all I could do was sit there staring into space, wondering what terrible human catastrophe had shattered our technological miracle.
Frantically, I grabbed my phone, praying that it would work and that I would not be isolated from the rest of the world.
Hand shaking, I suddenly had the thought, if I had to go out in my car, would I need to use a paper map? Would there be no GPS?
I was shocked to the core.
No internet!
I thought that I would turn my mind away from this tragedy of life and play a game. Maybe when I finished playing, the world would have returned to normal, but who wants to play with a silly stick and a tiny ball?
Oh, yes, that’s right, they are called golfers.
Minutes passed into hours, hours passed into days, and days became years.
OK, it was only a few days. But still …
I looked at the dusty books on my dusty bookcases and wondered how you turn the pages from one to the next. I had some vague memory of doing something with one’s finger. But then I thought, that is silly; how could that be possible?
The last resort, when touched by despair is to turn your mind to thoughts of food, and I thought I will just go online and order …
OMG
Internet Blues
Suddenly Recently Someone Took my Internet away I wasn’t being Naughty With too much To say
One moment Life was Normal With everything OK When some Dirty Rotten Scoundrel Took my life Away
The trauma Was unbearable And words Can never Tell How my heart Was broken When I Fell Under this Wicked Spell
The days Have passed So slowly But the pain Remains the Same And I wonder Will I ever see My internet Again
I wonder why It was me And how All this Came to Be Did I Commit Some mortal Sin Oh, when Will my Life Once more Begin
And what Miracle Will finally Cure This pain In life That I Endure
When will This pain Finally End When I Reborn With My Best Friend
©Philip Temple 2023
Copyright ©️ 2023 Philip Temple. All Rights Reserved.
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