When the Kimono Opens

Summary

The author discusses their writing style and the reactions it elicits, referencing a recent essay about a lay psychiatrist and his erection, which they intended to be humorous but also acknowledging that it may offend some.

Abstract

The author begins by sharing a humorous anecdote about asking for humor from a higher power, followed by a comment from a friend, Linda, who notes the author's tendency to write endearing essays that also have the potential to offend. The author then references a recent essay about a lay psychiatrist and his erection, which they shared with another friend, Adelia, who observed that it was sexual but not pornographic. The author agrees with this assessment, stating that the focus was not on sex but on balance. The author then quotes James Joyce, who defined pornography as the creation of characters that are either idealized or rejected, and states that the function of art is to create a moment of aesthetic arrest. The author concludes by discussing navigation based on morality versus internal navigation, referencing Lord Chesterfield's letters to his son.

Opinions

The author believes that their writing style is humorous and endearing, but also acknowledges that it has the potential to offend some people.
The author agrees with Adelia's assessment that their recent essay about a lay psychiatrist and his erection was sexual but not pornographic.
The author quotes James Joyce's definition of pornography as the creation of characters that are either idealized or rejected.
The author believes that the function of art is to create a moment of aesthetic arrest.
The author discusses the concept of navigation based on morality versus internal navigation, referencing Lord Chesterfield's letters to his son.
The author values the importance of graces, or manners, in all aspects of life, not just important transactions.
The author promotes an AI service, ZAI.chat

Fools rush in where wise men fear to tread

photo by Jazzy Lee

‘Please make me funny,” I asked the Lord, and he said, “You’re funny now.” And I asked, “Ha ha funny?” He didn’t answer me. I haven’t heard from him since but his wife brought me tamales. She’s Mexican and large bosomed.

A couple of evenings ago I asked Linda what she thought of the newest Lay Psychiatrist and she said something vague. She told me long ago that I write a really endearing essay about an experience, everybody loves it, and then I turn around and write something that seems to purposely offend everyone. It doesn’t offend everyone though. Some people find it very funny, as it is usually intended.

When I bounced the Lay Psychiatrist and his erection off Adelia, she observed that it’s sexual but not pornographic. That’s exactly it. The focus is not on sex but on balance, and it is no more pornographic than the Hallmark Channel.

James Joyce said that if the author makes the reader like a character by making him or her the social ideal, that’s pornography. Likewise, if she creates another character whom the reader dislikes because she displays the rejected or un-allowed behaviors in the reference group, that is likewise pornography. These are not real characters. They are one-sided and thus charged with negative energy. The function of art is to create a moment of esthetic arrest, when the opposites resolve, and the larger consciousness is revealed.

Navigation based in morality requires aligning yourself with an external system, which promises a reward if you obediently conform to it. The reward is the absence of punishment. The alternative navigation system is internal, and requires bringing the full attention into the moment, guided by responses it gets, and adjusting the feedback through the responses. I recall reading Lord Chesterfield’s Letters to his Son, in one of which he extolled the virtues of Lord Marlborough, whom, he said, wasn’t the greatest intellect around, but was so blessed with the graces he could rule against somebody and they would thank him for being fair.