When Someone Throws Rocks At You, Don’t Shield Away
No matter what you do, there will be people in this world who will hate you just because of who you are.
How often have you been mistreated by others? How often have you been put down? How many times have you felt “discriminated” against?
I’ve been put down a lot.
Since I can remember I was surrounded by haters.
In fourth grade, I was hated for being a daughter of Yugoslavian nationals. The kids in my class called me various names, and I had no friends. There was a particular person, let’s call him Little Boy, who just loved to pick on me.
One day, I won a school marathon and Little Boy came second. I have stored my medal in the school locker and by the time my parents came to pick me up, my locker was vandalized and someone stole my medal.
Later we found out it was Little Boy.
Throughout my life, my haters took various shapes and forms, but they all had one thing in common: they secretly wanted to be like me.
Envy is a special kind of cruelty. When a person becomes envious of another, it is always because they perceive another person to be “better” than them.
People who are jealous of you want all that you have for themselves. Rather than sorting out their own lives, they try to bring others down. Their insults, criticism, and hate are directed at those who they know are better than them.
Their jealousy is rooted in their own failures and inadequacies in life.
I’ve attracted the attention of people who took “pleasure” in criticizing my every move. They were hoping to knock me off my high, beautiful horse and drag me into the mud of their own. What are they actually telling me?
“ You are a leader, a pacemaker a person who leads and who conquers. You challenge the norms. And we don’t like that. ”
What am I telling them?
“I know that your jealousy is rooted in your own insecurities, self-doubt, and feelings of inadequacy. I am sorry for the way your life has turned out to be, but it is not my fault.”
I’ve learned in almost all unbelievable ways that some people have a problem with me. I have discovered that those who smiled and shared words of praise with me have actually secretly despised me. Why is that?
I may never know. But what I know is that no matter what I do, there would people in this world who would boil on the inside, just because I am who I am.
Even Mother Teresa had haters!
It doesn’t matter who you are or what positive influence you are trying to make in this world because haters will always exist. Nobody is exempt from jealousy and hatred from others.
Nobody is exempt from discrimination and from cruelty in this life.
It can hurt even more to have someone in your very close circle who is envious. When it is someone you know or you believe you have “know well”, it becomes personal.
The Greek philosopher Aristotle said that in order to avoid all criticism one should say nothing, do nothing, be nothing. I think we can all agree that if we do nothing, then what becomes of “us”?
Nothing.
So instead we say, we do and we become authentic versions of ourselves but only to be mocked, attacked, despised, put down, hurt by haters.
Perhaps you have heard of the theory that the opposite of love is indifference. Should we then ignore the inexplicable vicious behavior of others? Would that help us overcome the hatred inflicted upon us? Would that make us happier?
I consider myself to be a decent person. And I’ve realized that decent people aren’t equipped to deal with schemers. We aren’t equipped to deal with psychotic-like behaviors. We can’t relate to whatever motivates them, and ultimately we are “easy targets”.
We aren’t snipers like they are. Perhaps we can only “win” if we remove ourselves from their line of fire. These people live to get you to engage them because they know they are natural schemers and you can’t equal them. You don’t want to equal them.
You don’t want to be like them.
What then is left to do?
Face the hatred. Speak up against hate. Challenge the norm.
If you say or do nothing, then you will eventually feel bad about it and it will eat you out. If you don’t, then this will create an atmosphere in a society where hatred becomes normalized.
In such environments, hatred will only get worse. In the end, we all suffer from tolerating it in this way.
Find the courage to confront hatred because when you do, then they will think twice before saying and doing such things again. Displaying moral courage encourages others to follow your stand, too.
Every action taken against hate, no matter how small, is a victory for a fair, inclusive, and decent society.
Remember though, that this targeted “hatred” will one day pass. And imagine yourself in two years. Ask yourself whether these haters will still be a part of your life in five years.
If you do nothing — they will be with you every step of the way.
Choosing whether you should stand up to hatred comes down to what you can or cannot live with.
Don’t allow these people to bring you down. Keep being you and keep being successful. Don’t allow someone else’s own failures to bring you down or prevent you from pursuing your dreams.
Never hate your haters. Hate breeds hate. Don’t seek revenge.
Keep being you, the loving and amazing you. Share words of kindness. Because spreading love is the best way to beat a hater. Focus on your future, not on cold retribution. In the future that builds your capacity for love and creativity, for actual intelligence, the other is a pathway to emotional indifference, the severe swap of evil deeds.
Remember — haters are jealous because they think you are better than them.
And guess what?
You are better and so am I.
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