When Small Talk Digs Unexpected Things Up

Free AI web copilot to create summaries, insights and extended knowledge, download it at here

1675

Abstract

t the first feeling anymore, the one which has given birth to the conversation. We had dug up as far as my childhood, the spirit of excellence I was raised in, and the way it influences me now. I found out that I was unable to find a balance between work and time off, as I felt guilty as soon as I stopped working. In fact, no, I didn’t found out, because I already knew it. It was buried in my mind. What I did was formulate it orally, what gave it substance, a form of reality.</p><p id="2258">So we went from me feeling overwhelmed to me feeling the need to totally rebuild my rhythm not to miss out on my life. Besides sharing her opinion with me as I was discussing the problem, my mom didn’t talk that much. What she did was <i>listening</i>. Having someone able to truly listen to you is the key because you feel heard. Like, <i>deeply</i> heard.</p><p id="2e3f">Because she was truly listening to me, she could formulate her opinion in a deep way, being totally honest and attentive. Trust me, it was as good as, if not better, a seance with a psychologist. Being heard brought me to dig deeper and deeper into my feelings, striving to find the right words to express them in the clearest possible way; all of this leading me to ask myself the right questions then finding <i>by myself</i> possible right answers.</p><p id="68b0">I would still be at the same point if I hadn’t shared my thoughts at first. I would still feel the same way, trapped, whereas now I feel hopeful because I’ve got potential answers and solutions to explore.</p><p id="5c34">Maybe, next time someone offers to discuss something about you, don’t feel like you’ll annoy them. Give it a try.

Options

Choose someone you trust, pick a calm and quiet moment, and dedicate yourself to expressing your feelings in the clearest possible way. Sometimes, speaking out your feelings and hearing them from your voice instead of inside your head might make you see them from another perspective.</p><p id="79a6">You never know what might come out.</p><p id="d117">Other stories you may like:</p><div id="a036" class="link-block"> <a href="https://medium.com/@auriane.alix/why-you-need-to-stop-chasing-goals-b3b7dae5ff92"> <div> <div> <h2>Why Chasing Goals Makes You Unhappy</h2> <div><h3>There is no make it. It’s all about the process. The path.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*aX5vbutqsmLpuMvY4ltDow.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="77a0" class="link-block"> <a href="https://medium.com/@auriane.alix/why-you-need-to-let-your-mind-shout-and-cry-3c817a8a4397"> <div> <div> <h2>Why You Need To Let Your Mind Shout And Cry</h2> <div><h3>That’s the thing about writing. Letting your mind flow and express itself.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*VXgFiP9SRORTyEHcQPxYmA.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Better than a session with a psychologist

It’s very tricky. Because you never know when it might happen.

It occurred to me again this afternoon. I was feeling overwhelmed by all the things I had to do, and how few hours each day has. Struggling to find the appropriate rhythm to carry out several projects at the same time, without neglecting one of them.

I went to see my mother and told her how I felt. My mother always gives good advice. Whenever I’ve got something on my mind, I know that I can count on her. She understood how I felt, as she had already felt the same way several times. We discussed the point for at least one hour, and then, progressively, magic happened.

From small talk to big things

The more I was talking, trying to put the right words on my feelings, the more it felt as if I was digging inside myself. Deeper and deeper I went. Each sentence got to be closer to my point, using words as ladders to climb up to the top of my truth.

At some point, I stopped and realized how far we had come. We weren’t even talking about the first feeling anymore, the one which has given birth to the conversation. We had dug up as far as my childhood, the spirit of excellence I was raised in, and the way it influences me now. I found out that I was unable to find a balance between work and time off, as I felt guilty as soon as I stopped working. In fact, no, I didn’t found out, because I already knew it. It was buried in my mind. What I did was formulate it orally, what gave it substance, a form of reality.

So we went from me feeling overwhelmed to me feeling the need to totally rebuild my rhythm not to miss out on my life. Besides sharing her opinion with me as I was discussing the problem, my mom didn’t talk that much. What she did was listening. Having someone able to truly listen to you is the key because you feel heard. Like, deeply heard.

Because she was truly listening to me, she could formulate her opinion in a deep way, being totally honest and attentive. Trust me, it was as good as, if not better, a seance with a psychologist. Being heard brought me to dig deeper and deeper into my feelings, striving to find the right words to express them in the clearest possible way; all of this leading me to ask myself the right questions then finding by myself possible right answers.

I would still be at the same point if I hadn’t shared my thoughts at first. I would still feel the same way, trapped, whereas now I feel hopeful because I’ve got potential answers and solutions to explore.

Maybe, next time someone offers to discuss something about you, don’t feel like you’ll annoy them. Give it a try. Choose someone you trust, pick a calm and quiet moment, and dedicate yourself to expressing your feelings in the clearest possible way. Sometimes, speaking out your feelings and hearing them from your voice instead of inside your head might make you see them from another perspective.

You never know what might come out.