When Relationships Fail (1 of 3)
Our Divorce Courts Are So Busy that it Sometimes Takes a Long Time to Get Things Resolved. The Strain Can Be Gruesome.
As a lawyer, divorces were only a small part of my business, but I handled more of them than I can remember — or want to remember. Divorces are hard on the adults but especially on the kids. Kids don’t understand, and often feel they are to blame and are responsible for the divorce.
People will fight abut anything in a divorce. Had had a party in one divorce and they were fighting over who GOT to keep the dog. It was like the dog was the prize possession. Yet, in another divorce, they were fighting over who HAD to keep the dog. Neither of the people wanted the dog.
Many people to a divorce leave the marriage with very bitter thoughts. There are even thoughts of ‘getting even,’ and ‘revenge.’ I’ve been involved in a few divorces where one person was stalking the other, and doing nasty things, just to keep the strife on-going. It’s amazing the negative attitudes that surface during and after a divorce.
I recall a man ridiculing his wife in open court: “Honey, you only weighed 125 pounds when we got married. I’m not even married to half of you.”
I was even the lawyer to a murder-suicide after a divorce. I never saw it coming. Both people seemed to be dealing with the divorce in well-adjusted, emotionally-controlled ways. Obviously one wasn’t.
I sing a lot of John Denver songs. I sang in nightclubs years ago and had about 300+ songs in my repertoire. Today I only have about 50. Many are John’s. A few lines from ‘Different Directions’ says a lot:
They say they love each other, I’ve no doubt they do They say they’ll always be together, that may not be true They come from different places, different points of view They find themselves in different spaces, everything is all brand new.
Of course, John was a semi-expert on divorce, having had two of them.
You never know what statistics are true or not when you see different reports. One report says about 50% of marriages end in divorce. That’s not good odds.
I wrote these lines to a song about a failed relationship, and if it is something that must end, what our attitude should be toward it.
I wish you well More than I can tell More than you’ll ever know I wish you well.
I hope you find love Love like we used to know Love that grows and grows I wish you well.
