avatarDeb Fiore, LICSW

Summary

The author describes a personal struggle with overwhelming pain and sadness, likening the experience to drowning, but ultimately finds motivation to persevere through writing and the support of others.

Abstract

The article delves into the author's deep emotional turmoil, where pain and sadness are so intense that they feel like being submerged underwater, unable to escape the depths of despair. The author contemplates giving up as the pain seems unbearable, yet they find a glimmer of hope in the act of writing. The article emphasizes the importance of pushing through the pain, with the encouragement of others and the personal mantra "smell the flowers, blow out the candles." The author acknowledges the cyclical nature of their struggle but chooses to face the pain head-on, challenging themselves and others to express their pain through writing as a form of catharsis and healing.

Opinions

  • The author expresses a profound sense of despair, feeling as though they are drowning in their own emotions.
  • There is a struggle between succumbing to the pain or fighting against it, with the author leaning towards perseverance.
  • Writing is seen as a therapeutic tool to navigate through emotional pain, with the author suggesting that articulating one's feelings can be beneficial.
  • The author values the support and inspiration from the writing community, specifically mentioning Ravyne Hawke and the editors at KTHT.
  • The article conveys a message of resilience, emphasizing that moving through pain is the only way to overcome it.
  • The author issues a challenge to other writers, encouraging them to confront and express their own pain through writing.

When Pain is All Around and Stops Me in My Tracks

KTHT Challenge Prompt June 2022

Photo by Lacie Slezak on Unsplash

When the pain surrounds me, I stop moving. I am frozen, unable to speak or hear. I am far away in that cold, dark place. It feels like I should stay there and give up the fight.

It feels like it’s time to surrender. Hope is disappearing from the horizon. I am enclosed in nothingness.

Sometimes it feels like I am swimming underwater. I plunge deeper to escape the pangs of sadness that overwhelm me each day. Memories dance around me. They infiltrate my thoughts and threaten to overwhelm me.

All is quiet except for my heart pounding in my ears. It feels like I will not make it to the surface. It feels like I am drowning.

I am drowning. I am drowning in my sadness and my pain.

The throbbing agony of my grief overwhelms me. The pangs of sadness permeate my brain and my body shudders with my efforts to stay submerged.

A wave of peaceful nothingness rolls over me. There is no feeling here. That means there is no pain here.

Do I feel the pain and suffer with it? Or do I ignore the feelings so the pain will go away? For a little while. What a choice.

I do not want to give up hope but I am so tired of the pain. Maybe it is time to give up. Breathe in, breathe out.

Suddenly I remember why I write. I remember why I need to push through this pain. They said, “One step forward, two steps backward.”

I want to keep trying. I want to get to the other side of the pain. They said, “The only way around the pain is through the pain.”

I should write about what this feels like.

Those are the thoughts swirling through my mind. Thoughts that threaten to hold onto me. Thoughts that tell me to run away so I never feel another thing. Never again.

Another shudder with a chill racing down my spine. Smell the flowers, blow out the candles is my mantra.

Suddenly, I am awake. Awareness taps lightly.

Almost drowning in my emotions. I allow myself to swim to the surface. I take a deep trembling breath. Slowly, I inhale and exhale. Slowly.

Then I begin again.

A shout-out and a challenge to three of my favorite writers, Art Bram Sam Finlayson and The Sober Vegan Yogi. Here’s the link. Good luck.

Thank you for the inspiration, Ravyne Hawke and thank you to all the editors at KTHT. Love your pub!

This Happened To Me
Mental Health
Inspiration
Ktht Prompt
Self Growth
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