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Abstract

cooling-system, but no matter the temperature, I rarely need any blankets.During my first menopause, I was moody, my skin became dry, and it’s when I began my losing battle with facial hair.My friends couldn’t relate to what I was going through because, for them, menopause was so far in the distance that it didn’t even seem like a real condition or something that they’d ever have to contend with.The silver-lining of my menopause was that while I was experiencing all the symptoms of menopause, my endometriosis was pretty chill. So, chill in fact, that it lulled me into a false sense of security.I concluded that menopause was a badass and could defeat endometriosis.<h2 id="bc0d">Menopause became my superhero.</h2>And when the menopause symptoms went away; the endometriosis came back full force.I was in a constant state of PMS — I had pain before, during, and after my period. If I bent over, I’d get a pain that felt as if a fist had gone into my vagina, opened up while in there, and flexed and pounded my abdomen walls from the inside. I had pain that went from front to back, vibrated, and pulsed.My activities became limited to sitting with a heating pad and watching TV. I became scared to even make plans because I’d probably end up canceling them due to a pain episode.<a href="https://www.womens-health-concern.org/help-and-advice/factsheets/induced-menopause-in-women-with-endometriosis/">Menopause was the answer</a> to my pain problem. All it had to do was to hurry up and happen again.But like the people who wish for rain in a drought; the more I wished for menopause to come, the less likely that possibility of its arrival seemed to be.I started getting my period when I was eleven-years-old, so I hoped that meant that my real menopause would come early too.Nope. Wrong.Every time I had a menstrual period, more scar tissue was formed, more of my organs were trapped in the sticky web of endometrial tissue, and the more pain I had.When my friends started going through menopause — I envied them.“I want my menopause now,” was the whiny refrain that went through my brain.When I turned 40, I hoped that I’d get it early again, but my period defiantly kept arriving. I told myself th

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at I only had to wait a little longer and then menopause would come to save me from the endometriosis.By 50, I was convinced that every month would be the last month of having a period and every month my body proved me wrong.<h2 id="8a54">I was beginning to take not getting menopause personally.</h2>I joked that my body wasn’t ready to age and wasn’t allowing itself to become menopausal. Every hair I plucked from my chin, every sleepless night, and snappish mood swing mocked me.Then, finally, at age 54, I didn’t get a period for three months.Cue party noises and put up the banner; menopause is here to stay!<h2 id="3cef">Menopause had finally arrived and I was here for it.</h2>I made plans for all the things I’d be able to do without worrying about endometriosis pain — I could travel, have a more active social life, and even have sex without extreme discomfort.Menopause was here, and life was going to be amazing once it kicked endometriosis’ ass.However, my body had other ideas, and I started spotting. Breakthrough bleeding can be nothing or can be a sign that you have endometrial cancer. A biopsy confirmed that my bleeding wasn’t anything to be concerned about and I went back to counting the months without a period.When it could no longer be denied that I was in menopause for a second time, I was overjoyed. I barely noticed any symptoms — only the lack of endometriosis symptoms.Menopause has helped my endometriosis pain — I wouldn’t say I’m completely pain-free, but it’s much better. I don’t have to worry that if I bend over, I’ll get a throbbing, spasm-like pain that’s impervious to over-the-counter pain-relievers.No one experiences menopause in the same way but no matter what kinds of symptoms you have, there are things that can help you such as hormone-treatments, herbal medicines, support-groups, and lifestyle changes.There’s no guarantee that menopause will help your endometriosis — in some cases, it has been known to worsen symptoms, but it doesn’t hurt anything to look at menopause in a positive light.Menopause makes me feel empowered and as if I can handle anything that’s thrown at me. Menopause might not be the biggest fun I’ll ever have in my life, but having less pelvic-pain was worth waiting for and going through it twice.</article></body>

When Once is Not Enough for Menopause

I couldn’t wait for menopause to cure my endometriosis pain.

Photo by Konstantin Planinski on Unsplash

I couldn’t wait to go through menopause a second time! Menopause was so much fun that I wanted to do it again and again!

Well, that’s not exactly true, but after having medically-induced menopause in my thirties, I couldn’t wait to have it a second time.

No, I wasn’t addicted to menopause, nor was I living in some bizarro universe where menopause meant party time. My perspective on menopause was that it was the answer to the pain I experienced from endometriosis.

When I was in my late twenties, my doctor found a basketball-sized mass in my abdomen. During the surgery to remove this cyst, it was discovered that I had endometriosis.

Endometriosis is when the tissue that lines your uterus somehow makes it outside the uterus and sets up shop as it has no way to leave the body.

Since it’s endometrial tissue, once a month, it thickens, breaks down, and bleeds, forming cysts, scar tissue, and adhesions. My doctor once said it was a big mess in there.

The doctors burned off as much of the endometrial tissue as they could but informed me that it was sure to come back, and would continue to damage my insides.

Good times!

Over the years, I’ve undergone many endometriosis-treatments including taking birth control pills every day to prevent me from having a period at all, various medications, and surgeries.

The first surgery was for the removal of the mass, and the second was a single oophorectomy for the removal of my right ovary.

My oophorectomy could have triggered my early menopause, or it could have been the Lupron I was prescribed which decreases estrogen levels in the body.

Either way, I was destined to go through menopause at 32 years-old.

While I didn’t have hot flashes, I did, and do, sleep extremely hot. I don’t break out into a sweat, and I’d be grateful for that kind natural cooling-system, but no matter the temperature, I rarely need any blankets.

During my first menopause, I was moody, my skin became dry, and it’s when I began my losing battle with facial hair.

My friends couldn’t relate to what I was going through because, for them, menopause was so far in the distance that it didn’t even seem like a real condition or something that they’d ever have to contend with.

The silver-lining of my menopause was that while I was experiencing all the symptoms of menopause, my endometriosis was pretty chill. So, chill in fact, that it lulled me into a false sense of security.

I concluded that menopause was a badass and could defeat endometriosis.

Menopause became my superhero.

And when the menopause symptoms went away; the endometriosis came back full force.

I was in a constant state of PMS — I had pain before, during, and after my period. If I bent over, I’d get a pain that felt as if a fist had gone into my vagina, opened up while in there, and flexed and pounded my abdomen walls from the inside. I had pain that went from front to back, vibrated, and pulsed.

My activities became limited to sitting with a heating pad and watching TV. I became scared to even make plans because I’d probably end up canceling them due to a pain episode.

Menopause was the answer to my pain problem. All it had to do was to hurry up and happen again.

But like the people who wish for rain in a drought; the more I wished for menopause to come, the less likely that possibility of its arrival seemed to be.

I started getting my period when I was eleven-years-old, so I hoped that meant that my real menopause would come early too.

Nope. Wrong.

Every time I had a menstrual period, more scar tissue was formed, more of my organs were trapped in the sticky web of endometrial tissue, and the more pain I had.

When my friends started going through menopause — I envied them.

“I want my menopause now,” was the whiny refrain that went through my brain.

When I turned 40, I hoped that I’d get it early again, but my period defiantly kept arriving. I told myself that I only had to wait a little longer and then menopause would come to save me from the endometriosis.

By 50, I was convinced that every month would be the last month of having a period and every month my body proved me wrong.

I was beginning to take not getting menopause personally.

I joked that my body wasn’t ready to age and wasn’t allowing itself to become menopausal. Every hair I plucked from my chin, every sleepless night, and snappish mood swing mocked me.

Then, finally, at age 54, I didn’t get a period for three months.

Cue party noises and put up the banner; menopause is here to stay!

Menopause had finally arrived and I was here for it.

I made plans for all the things I’d be able to do without worrying about endometriosis pain — I could travel, have a more active social life, and even have sex without extreme discomfort.

Menopause was here, and life was going to be amazing once it kicked endometriosis’ ass.

However, my body had other ideas, and I started spotting. Breakthrough bleeding can be nothing or can be a sign that you have endometrial cancer. A biopsy confirmed that my bleeding wasn’t anything to be concerned about and I went back to counting the months without a period.

When it could no longer be denied that I was in menopause for a second time, I was overjoyed. I barely noticed any symptoms — only the lack of endometriosis symptoms.

Menopause has helped my endometriosis pain — I wouldn’t say I’m completely pain-free, but it’s much better. I don’t have to worry that if I bend over, I’ll get a throbbing, spasm-like pain that’s impervious to over-the-counter pain-relievers.

No one experiences menopause in the same way but no matter what kinds of symptoms you have, there are things that can help you such as hormone-treatments, herbal medicines, support-groups, and lifestyle changes.

There’s no guarantee that menopause will help your endometriosis — in some cases, it has been known to worsen symptoms, but it doesn’t hurt anything to look at menopause in a positive light.

Menopause makes me feel empowered and as if I can handle anything that’s thrown at me. Menopause might not be the biggest fun I’ll ever have in my life, but having less pelvic-pain was worth waiting for and going through it twice.