When is the Perfect Timing?

Overcoming Regrets Over Missed Opportunities

When is the right moment for change?

When is the perfect time to change a career?

When is the perfect time to move to a new apartment?

When is the perfect time to end a toxic relationship?

When is the perfect time to make any bold change?

What defines the perfect timing for a bold transformation?

These questions often intrigue our minds, especially when contemplating and regretting missed opportunities.

Did you finally make a move, only to start feeling guilty for not doing it earlier?

Or, maybe you didn’t make a move at all and still feel guilty.

Wasn’t the Perfect Timing Many Years Ago?

Please think about that significant shift you made in your life. Maybe you feel like you have unnecessarily wasted couple of years, or even decades.

Do you believe it would have been better if you had done it earlier?

Indeed, when was the perfect timing for that step?

Personally, I’ve experienced this sentiment many times, and one of them still freshly resides in my mind.

It was when I joined Toastmasters organisation at the age of 35. This organisation attracts various people who don’t have many things in common except the desire to practice personal development and public speaking.

Therefore, I have joined to practice public speaking, and eventually I found myself liking it so much that I became hooked on it. I really think it’s fantastic for various of reasons, the most important one being overcoming one’s fears, as well as gaining confidence.

I simply couldn’t believe why didn’t I joined earlier, because I was in a phase of ambivalence for the whole year, weighing pros and cons of joining it. That was my typical indecision.

The fact that my public speaking has been tremendously improved since I joined Toastmasters, made me to start thinking about how much would have it been further improved had I started to practice it in my 20s.

Watching those young folks being excellent in public speaking in their 20s made me regret for not having more wisdom to start with it earlier.

Does it mean that I should have start it earlier?

It Happens When You are Ready

While I may harbor regret for not beginning earlier, the delay wasn’t without reason.

In fact, it wasn’t public speaking that I wanted in my twenties.

Back then I wanted more muscles, not public speaking. Therefore, instead of hitting the stage, I was hitting the gym.

In the same way, you probably didn’t want to end up a toxic relationship back then “when it was time,” because you might have wanted to give it a second chance. Maybe you were scared of being single again and of uncertainty whether you are going to find a better mate.

Only you know what were your reasons, but whatever they were, they were valid for you, making you not ready.

Life situations unfold when we are prepared for them. The fact that we waited so long before making a change indicates that we weren’t ready to do it earlier. But now, we are ready. Yesterday, we were not.

The reason is that our collection of values and experiences were different back then compared to what they are today.

From the perspective of our former values and experiences, the choices we make today wouldn’t be justifiable, so we didn’t pursue them.

Therefore, if you feel any regret, please don’t.

Everything Falls Into Place When and Where it Should

The change you waited so long to make likely wasn’t something you desired in your younger days because it wasn’t aligned with your priorities back then.

So, isn’t it futile to wish for something to happen when you neither wanted it nor were ready for it in the past?

Back then, it wasn’t your perfect timing because it didn’t happen.

The perfect timing is when it happens.

However, it’s crucial not to misinterpret this perspective as a licence for complacency and laziness. It shouldn’t be an excuse to sit back, relax, do nothing and wait until stars align in a favourable way.

Perfect timing doesn’t happen by itself. Instead, it requires our personal involvement.

That’s why I see this perspective as an encouragement for action because, according to it, in a sense, we can’t do wrong. If we did something, it means we were ready.

So it is unnecessary to fret over various possibilities for too long.

Instead, we should invest our full effort in figuring out what do we want to do. And then, if we decide to proceed, we should muster enough courage to go through that pain, and simply do it.

But, recognizing that we were not ready for that move before the decisive moment (or maybe not ready at all) enables us to forgive ourselves and deal with regret more effectively.

Thank you for reading my story.