Death & Aging
When I Die, I Don’t Want A Funeral
And I want to be cremated.
My mother’s sister recently passed away, and her siblings desired to hold a funeral for their deceased sister. My mother and her youngest sister were on board with a cremation from the start. Unfortunately, the siblings who wanted to hold a traditional funeral ceremony did not have the financial means to do so.
I was intrigued by why the siblings were so vested in the idea of a funeral. They felt it was a respectable thing to do for their sister. But where did this idea and habitual formality come into play: A person who dies must have a formal funeral, a casket, and a “proper burial?”
I believe my mother and her siblings ended up donating the body to science because that would cost zero dollars. A compassionate zoom (due to COVID-19) memorial service was also held in her honor. The service was simple, yet sweet, thoughtful, and more than effective in honoring and celebrating her beautiful life.
Can we honor people in ways that don’t involve spending unnecessary money? So much money is spent on death; a person who is no longer even on the earth.
My Take On The Post-Death Process
Death is inevitable; it’s coming for us all. And the last thing I want is for anyone to spend money on a casket and funeral on behalf of my death.
Cremation
I want to be cremated, and unfortunately, burning a body also still costs money, but at least it’s cheaper than other burial options.
I’ve always had a desire to be cremated because I felt it was a reflection of my own simplicity and untraditional and minimalistic values. On the contrary, caskets are heavy, traditional, and physical.
It’s interesting; for those who are placed in caskets, their bodies disintegrate over time as if they were cremated.
Funeral
I don’t want a traditional funeral. If I had it my way, a simple gathering with people who care about me in a garden or on a beach would suffice. A funeral would accomplish nothing for me. I want my life to be celebrated instead of my death being magnified.
Afterthoughts
It’s not about what happens after you die; what matters is what happens before you die. The funeral, the burial, the casket, none of these things define you or genuinely matter in the grand scheme of life. What defines you is the actions you took during your life, and the meaning you found with it.