When Grief Won’t Visit
In the absence of Love, can you grieve?
“I’m so sorry to hear about the death of your sister,” I offered condolences to someone I had known for years.
Staring at me with furled brows, she nodded, saying, “I don’t understand why everyone is making a big deal about her death.”
“You feel nothing for your sister’s death?” I asked in shock.
She shrugged her shoulders, and I went on, “You buried both of your parents and your brother two years ago. Now you must bury your sister, all in less than three years.”
She nodded.
“How does it feel to lose so many family members in such a short time?”
Grinning as if I complimented her, she eased closer to me and said, “I felt nothing.”
The shock on my face, she enlightened, “I found out that in the absence of love, grief stays away.”
My eyes widened, as her words sent me back to a place and time I didn’t want to go back to.
“You know my life and I know yours,” she reminded. “We have lots of people in our lives who are so cruel to us, we just can’t love them. So, when they die, we can’t grieve.”
Damn, is this true?
When we lose someone we love, grief visits and stays for a while. All of us handle sorrow differently. I have been here with my mother. Her cruelty towards me prevents grief from visiting and staying.
Is this life’s way of saving some of us from this very painful emotion that can destroy our lives?
What do you think?
Can you grieve for someone you don’t love, who was cruel to you?
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