When Going Viral Meant Something Else

Once upon a time, we all wanted something viral. Now, not so much.

Now sit down, children. I am going to read you a bedtime story. Get comfy now. Grab a pillow and blankie. Oh. And a box of tissues. And maybe even a tiny violin…

Once upon a time, there was a time we used to call ‘normal life.’

We went out. We walked close to people. We hugged each other. You could go to the pub with your mates. You could eat at restaurants. You had work clothes and went to your job in a different place that wasn’t your home. You had never heard of Zoom. You could buy toilet paper whenever you wanted.

Remember that?!

You know, before the ‘v-word.’

That elusive time we are struggling to remember, when we could do what we wanted, where we wanted, with whomever we wanted, in whatever country we wanted.

And that, children, is the end of your story. It’s 15+ henceforth…

Let’s face it, back in the day, when life was normal, the v-word was essentially the nice and anatomical version of the c-word.

Now, in a bizarre turn of events that may or may not include the eating of a raw bat, we now have the v-word and the c-word in different contexts.

How has this happened? Well unless you’ve been living in a hole in the ground with no contact with the outside world, the world is currently in PANDEMIC mode.

Yep. A full-scale viral shit-show. With more shit than you can poke a stick at. (I tried to find a photo of someone poking shit with a stick. Seems it’s not popular. Shame. Instead, you have this one…)

Nearly every country is in lockdown. (Sweden finally came to that party recently. About time. And we won’t talk about Belarus and Nicaragua who are still playing football — the round ball game aka soccer — and probs not taking social distancing too seriously. But what would I know? Google it.)

All because of a virus.

And that really got me thinking about going viral.

I don’t mean getting a virus and spreading it! That’s just a train to Wrong-town!

I mean, as writers!! We all want that elusive mix of words on a page. You know, magic words with a little Unicorn pee and a magic fairy wand with sparkles and luck so our stories shoot around the globe! That kind of viral…(hopefully earning us more than $10. For a story. Not in total. You know!)

Let’s face it we’re all a little bit tired of the, “We value you. You have earned 12 cents on this poem. 214 people viewed it. 5 people read it. 3 people and a bot gave you the clap. Keep up the amazing work!” kind of messages.

We are tired. And we want more. More viral, less virus, so to speak.

We want a land where unicorns roam, where you get paid for doing good shit instead of being a massive shit (I’m looking at you, Orange Trumpkin, Scotty from Marketing…).

Where you’re paid what you’re worth. Paid for your skill. For the thrill that you elicit When your words are explicit…

The c-word has taken over. I don’t ever want to see its face again.

Once upon a time….

We all wanted to go viral. It was a good thing. Our writing was virus-free. Not a c-word in sight.

I hope, after this shit-show, the world returns to a better space, a better place. But maybe we have to rename going viral…

Ideas anyone?!

~thanks for reading~

I was actually inspired to write this after I read this article. The brain works in mysterious ways…

Lisa is in lockdown in Finland. It’s very pretty there, luckily, or she might have started swimming back to Australia, the land of her birth. Viruses don’t like salt water, right?!