When Following Your Heart is Not A Passion Project

“Step into the unknown and the path will be revealed.” — unknown

From ad agency to yoga studio, a story of why this yoga teacher left her corporate gig to follow her creative heart.

Meet Ling Tan.

Ling is a veteran yoga teacher though her youthful looks don’t give it away. She has a sweet and friendly vibe to her but when you peel back the layers, there’s a rich backstory. She has 20 years of yoga practice, and her teaching ranges from Hatha, Vinyasa, Restorative, Yin.

She’s on a mission to calm and steady all nervous systems. She’ll do it too, even if she doesn’t feel like she’s there yet.

But let’s rewind a bit first.

14 years ago, I met Ling when we both juniors in our careers. She was an Account Manager working for a well known agency and I was her client. I remember her taking me out for lunch at this little sushi house to brief me on production timelines for an advertising campaign we were working on. She was young, driven and knew all her way around account service better than most. Even though I was her client, she didn’t shy away from teaching me the ins and outs of the advertising world.

Our working relationship didn’t last long as she had other dreams to follow — but we remained close. As is her style, she’s still teaching me today.

Just in a different way.

Yoga Meets Muse

Ling is my first contributor to the Yoga Muse series. Here, we’re not talking advertising campaigns — rather, we’re tackling the hard questions we’re not supposed to ask a working yogi mamma. She’s meant to give the impression of being put together and being clear on the path she’s on. After all, she left the corporate world to follow her healer heart.

In her world, yoga and meditation are cued to help tell a story…to serve a lesson…to connect bodies through movement…to lean into vulnerability. She weaves body movement, philosophy and real life stories in an hour. You leave her classes changed, your energy has subtly shifted but you can’t quite put your finger 100% on why. There’s a lot of layers to the class. And that takes talent.

I’m excited to dig deeper into who she is as a person and as a teacher.

Since we’re all social distancing right now we can’t do our usual meet up over coffee at a cafe, so the phone is our fallback. We manage to find some time in between toddler nap-time, yoga teaching on zoom and homeschooling to have a chat. Her youngest is having a nap so we’re on a tight deadline.

We get into it right away.

Ling is a deep thinker and she embodies her thoughts. Imagine how alive she became when I asked her the first question.

1.Describe yourself in 10 words

I love how each word she’s carefully chosen carries weight and are full of meaning. I could feel her conviction with each and I was thrilled with the vibe.

However, I did then receive a notable sigh on my second question.

2. What are the 3 most important things in your life right now and how are you prioritising them?

She spoke about how she had high hopes for 2020.

Like most of us…

Initially she had a colour-coded planner for the year, which is now out the window. The 3 things she had originally wanted to focus on were:

I asked her to clarify what she meant by the last point. Was ‘full human potential’ a goal for herself or for others? After a small pause, she explains “It begins with me, but it’s my curiosity around the full human potential that drew me to yoga.”

“Then because of COVID-19, it’s harder to feel joy…to feel beauty. I just feel like a machine…holding the ship together.”

So then the wording of that particular priority changed to something more realistic given the times. She then arrived at:

Self Development

Yet it still didn’t feel right. She still felt stuck, and it didn’t sit right as she was barely carving any time for herself. She felt stuck in the sacrifice of loving and caring for her two little boys. During this time, her own practice became more Yoga Nidra than an asana practice.

Her body knew what it desperately needed, even if her mind didn’t.

Sadly though, she felt like she was copping out. For a recovering perfectionist, it was taking the easy way to fulfil a yoga practice. Only realising now that rest and restoration was the practice.

Now, she’s arrived at:

Wellbeing

as her third priority. This, she feels is more possible to achieve. It’s still a lofty standard for most but remember Ling did start with full human potential.

These times also challenge the crutches we live with…that things need to be a certain way or that yoga must be practiced in a studio or that we need bolsters and props or that we need to “perform” asana to do yoga.

But yoga is not just asana.

And while it has been uneasy and even a bit awkward in the beginning, we’ve proven to ourselves that we can leave the crutches to the side and just do yoga.

3. What makes you happy to be alive and how can you make more of that every day?

Her reply is instant. It’s “the sound of my children laughing…their bond…the purity…watching them play”.

”Family happiness makes me happy to be alive — even though it battles with me intrinsically with who am I in all of this.”

She shifts from being philosophical to whimsical quite naturally.

In one breath she references the Vedas: a collection of Indian Scriptures. And how one of the Goddesses in the Scripture; Druga has a superpower with 5 arms, each brandishing a weapon. Ling notes that the first thing the goddess does before each battle is to retreat into a cave to ignite with light, love and truth.

Her reflections on that matter are “tell that to a working mother that she needs to go into her cave to ignite with light, love and truth before she can get on with things”.

Then whimsy follows with these last thoughts on the question…

4. What one event in your life has changed you the most?

We both agreed that this was a hard question. There’s never really one single event that changes you, but a series of events, milestones, people, experiences, choices and decisions that take you down the path you are now on.

But asking for one helps drill down to richer territory. Like it has for Ling. She starts by listing the milestones at first.

“ Motherhood the first time. Motherhood the second time.”

Then she digs deeper…

“ The love/hate with corporate work. Hitting rock bottom. Having a few years where my identity wasn’t clear and obvious when it wasn’t attached to a role. Trying different things, but still it was an uncomfortable feeling.

It made me ask, “Who am I?”

“ What’s my purpose? What am I doing with my life? It’s not one single event. It’s spanned over a few years. But now, what I’m doing is an expression of my purpose, but it’s not the final expression.”

For me, its humbling when someone trusts you enough to share their wounds of wisdom…

Throughout my own journey with yoga, Ling has been there. She even reminds me of the time when I said, “ I get pilates. But I don’t get yoga. It’s too mystical for me. “

Little did I know that yoga and meditation would help me break through my burnout. With Ling, she had a more positive beginning.

5. Why did you start yoga? What makes you continue? What inspired you to teach?

“ I started at uni when I was 18. Very small class in a gym. I can remember how it felt to be there, even though it was only 1 or 2 people. It took me 40 minutes on a tram to get there. It was a calling. That’s why I put spirit in there, because I feel like it’s a calling. It’s a practice that helps me get to know myself better.”

When I ask her what inspires her to teach, the words spill out quickly. Her words become staccato as she tries to land the thought.

“ I think it was the feeling that I wanted to share this feeling with other people. Sometimes now it feels like I get inspiration…a message to create something and that it has to go out.”

Then her voice softens.

“ Teaching my way…I show up with my own vulnerability. When I share that, it’s because I’ve had some understanding of it. There’s always a nervous moment beforehand, yet when I do…it takes people to a place that resonates with them.

At the end, something magical happens. Something shifts. Albeit a subtle energy shift.”

“A big thing is our interactions [with our students], that’s where the way we make the most impact. It’s about taking our state of being off the mat and impacting those around us.

6. What does it mean to be good enough and how do you know that you are?

As a recovering perfectionist, Ling initially turned the question back on me. I told her when I’m in my flow state and I’m inspired is when I know I’m good enough. Ling responds with “It’s hard to know when I’m good enough. I don’t know if I’m the best person to know.”

I can sense the perfectionist making an appearance.

She shares a story about her oldest who is in grade one this year. He’s inherited the perfection gene from Ling and watching how this compels him to draw, erase, re-draw, erase and re-draw a letter has sparked a thought.

“Done is better than good.”

After a little bit more riffing, she arrives at “When it feels in your heart, it’s good enough when it’s the best, at that time.” It may mean you have a different best at a different time. But it’s your best for that moment.”

At that moment, Ling’s youngest has woken up from his nap and he is demanding her attention. We end our conversation abruptly…but it’s okay.

She gave me an hour and she’s given me more than enough.

Final thoughts

One thought that lingers on my mind after our conversation…long after we finish is her mission to calm and steady all nervous systems.

Before, I couldn’t put my finger 100% on why I left her classes changed. Now I can.

She teaches intuitively and adapts to suit the students and energy of the room. No two classes are the same even if they may be scheduled as Yin Yoga. Movements are deliberate, mindful and pulsate with subtle refinement. She weaves life lessons and stories into yoga practice.

Ling teaches because she loves sharing what she loves. As with many of us, there has been constant change in her life and in yoga she has found a purpose.

In her official bio, she uses only 3 descriptors:

Yet we now know there is more to her. When you’re feeling anxious or tired from trying to keep up with everything, do your nervous system a favour and join one her classes.

In the end, something magical always happens.

More like this:

Originally published at https://www.sevensundaysyoga.com on May 11, 2020.