WRITING PROMPT | ENGAGE
When Fears Kill Dreams: Navigating the Bridge Between Anxiety and Ambition
Over the years, I’ve come to understand that fear is one of the most significant barriers to realizing my ambitions
Ever since I was a child, I’ve been told to chase my dreams. To reach for the stars. But, just as dreams can propel us to great heights, fears can shackle us to the ground.
Many in my age group will remember Casey Kasem, who said every week on American Top 40, “Keep your feet on the ground, and keep reaching for the stars.”
Perhaps that is the recipe for success — it certainly worked for him.
Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)
In the age of Instagram, Meta, formerly Facebook, and X, formerly Twitter, seeing our peers traveling, achieving, laughing, and seemingly living their best lives is a daily event.
In the days right after I retired from the US Army, the social media giants were MySpace, Tagged, and Friendster. I recall hours of scrolling and the subsequent feelings of envy and regret.
Should I be somewhere else? Doing something else?
After I retired from the military after 28 years of service, I felt lost. I had no desire to return to the workforce at 53. What would I do?
I had been offered a six-figure position doing exactly what I had been doing in the US Army, but an unfortunate incident caused me to lose my Top-Secret security clearance. It was not my fault, and that’s all I will say about that.
After nearly two years, I broke out of the grips of fear and decided to go back to school and get my Bachelor of Science in Information Technology (BSIT). After all, that’s what I did in the Army.
I was a 53-year-old student going to school in the Philippines with mostly teenagers.
Too Many Choices Can Lead to Paralysis
With an array of opportunities presented, I often found myself paralyzed, worried about missing out on something better. I remember declining an exciting job offer because I feared a better one might come along, closer to where I wanted to be. That better offer never came.
However, I finally decided to start a business writing. Nearly ten years later, I don’t regret that decision.
“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft. I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won’t have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren’t even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you and have a lot more fun while they’re doing it.” ― Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird
Fear of Failure Can Be a Dream Destroyer
The reluctance to embark on a new adventure often stems from the fear of failure.
I’ve abandoned numerous ideas and projects because of this looming apprehension. Moreover, this fear nudged me towards the ‘safer’ paths — ones that weren’t necessarily my dreams but were less likely to result in failure.
I put off publishing two books because I read somewhere that few authors actually make it.
“Only 0.7% of self-published writers, 1.3% of traditionally published writers, and 5.7% of hybrid writers reported earning more than $100,000 a year from their writing.” — Publishing Perspectives.
What if Stephen King or JK Rowling had read that same thing — we would have missed out on too many joys and goosebumps.
“The scariest moment is always just before you start.” — Stephen King “On Writing.”
Yet, sometimes, I think the fear of making it was scarier.
Embracing Fears to Fuel Our Dreams
Sometimes, we just need to recognize the fear — to accept that it is natural to be a little frightened.
We must discern whether we are the culprit holding ourselves back. Whenever FOMO or any fear creeps in, we must confront our fears and seek the real cause of our feelings.
We must embrace fear as a teacher and a motivator. When pitching a story to various online magazines, I understand that 99% will not accept the idea for various reasons.
Therefore, I try to increase my odds by submitting to more places. If 99 will say no, I must submit to 100 to get a yes.
“But I still encourage anyone who feels at all compelled to write to do so. I just try to warn people who hope to get published that publication is not all that it is cracked up to be. But writing is.” — Anne Lamott “Bird by Bird.”
We Must Embrace Failure
When we view every failure as a lesson rather than a setback, we become stronger and more resistant to melancholy and anxiety from those rejections. With each rejected idea, we must accept that we are that much closer to our dream — not further away.
Interact with Other Writers & Seek Their Mentorship
We mustn’t let fear kill our dreams.
Reading and interacting with other writers both on Medium and in the private sector can help us achieve our dreams.
Reading books like “On Writing” by Stephen King and “Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life” by Anne Lamott helped me tremendously.
Also, I’ve read dozens of books by Medium authors, like Bill Abbate (Uncommon Sense), Gayle Kurtzer-Meyers (Best Buddies), Aymes Sarah (The Maze in Your Mind Has a Way Out: Barnes & Noble), Jim Woods (Bite the Bullet), Michael Stover (How To Write Well 2nd Edition), Kathleen Krueger (Hey Freelancer Go Clone Yourself), Jack Heimbigner (Transform Your Medium Stories, I would say if you are considering making your Medium stories into a book…this could help), Tom Handy (How to Earn a Million While Serving in the Military: Barnes & Noble),Roz Warren, Writing Coach (Our Bodies, Our Shelves: A Collection Of Library Humor), Jocelyn Soriano (Of Waves and Butterflies: Poems on Grief (Love, Grief and Letting Go)), Tommy Ueland (Viking Private Investigation), Anu Anniah (A Girl Gang + A Tropical Island: A 72.81% true story), Steve B Howard NOVELIST (Just In Case: A collection of short stories and Haibun.), Alexander Semenyuk (Paradise Harbour: A Noir Horror Thriller), and others.
I probably should not have started listing authors on Medium because I have likely omitted someone. If you are a published author and on Medium, remind me or introduce your book in the comments (I will add it here).
“If you look around, I think you will find the person you need. Almost every writer I’ve ever known has been able to find someone who could be both a friend and a critic.” — Anne Lamott from Bird by Bird.
For me, it was some of those I listed above — some from personal mentorship or motivation—others from reading their work.
Whether a motivational book, a How-to, nonfiction or fiction, these writers — these creators can help us develop our writing prowess. I’m not saying you should copy their style, but their experiences and wisdom equipped me to combat my anxieties more effectively.
Closing Thoughts About Fear
In my journeys, it became evident that fears and dreams are two sides of the same coin.
While aspirations push you forward, fears hold you back. But by acknowledging, understanding, and reframing from allowing fears to paralyze us, we can turn them into catalysts for growth.
Remember, every dream, no matter how big or small, is worth pursuing. Don’t let fear hold you back.
That’s all for today. Thanks for reading, and come back for more soon.
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Stephen Dalton is a retired US Army First Sergeant with a degree in journalism from the University of Maryland and a Certified US English Chicago Manual of Style Editor. Also, a Top Writer in Bitcoin, Business, Investing, Nutrition, Travel, Fiction, Transportation, VR, NFL, Design, Creativity, and Short Story.