When Can White People Say the N-Word?

We have to have this debate. Again.

On Saturday, February 5th, Joe Rogan issued an apology after Grammy Award winner India.Arie shared a montage of him saying the n-word repeatedly on his podcast, The Joe Rogan Experience.

There is a lot of controversy surrounding Rogan, his podcast, and his deal with Spotify, but I would like to focus on his apology for using the n-word. He claimed the material was taken “out of context” and that he “wasn’t trying to be racist.” These are excuses I’ve heard a lot of white people say when it comes to saying the word.

Typically, when a white celebrity uses the word (and offers an excuses-filled apology as Rogan did), there’s a big debate as to when and if a white person can use that word. Many white people ask why they can’t use the word. They ask if they’re allowed to quote it. They ask why Black people are allowed to use the word and they’re not. They claim their Black friends are okay with them saying the word, and the rest of us are a bunch of “snowflakes.”

Well, white people, I shall answer your questions here.

The short answer to all of your questions is of course you can say it. Nobody is stopping you.

However, people have the right to tell you you’re a disgusting human being for using it. Black people especially are allowed to express whatever anger and pain they feel when it comes to you using the word. People are allowed to change their opinions of you and question their previous judgment of you being a decent person.

Yes, you can say it, but not without consequences. That’s how all words work.

“Can I quote it? Can I sing it if it’s in a song? Can I…”

The problem I have with these sorts of questions is it comes off as white people wanting to find any and every excuse to use the word.

Let me ask you some questions — why do you want to use it so badly?

Do you even know what it means? How would using it enhance your vocabulary? In what ways do you want to use it, and why? Why do you feel you just need to quote it? You don’t think people will understand you if you just said “the n-word?”

And the most important question: Considering the history of the word and how it was used specifically to dehumanize Black people, what sort of impact are you trying to get by using it?

In most cases, many white people just think it’s “edgy humor.” Although comedy that involves punching down on historically marginalized people isn’t comedy — it’s bullying. The impact of using it for humor is you hurt a group of people that is already oppressed. How is that funny?

White writers seem especially concerned about quoting the word. But again, would your audience understand you if you just said “the n-word?” Or if you just censor it like “n*gger?” People usually know what it means. What sort of impact are you trying to make with your writing? Are you trying to prove a point, and if so, to whom? Or do you just want to quote the word for shock value, like the “edgy humor” crowd? Those are the sorts of questions you should ask yourself.

Despite the contexts in which he used the word, there is no excuse for Joe Rogan to use the word so many times, especially with so much glee. The impact of it has left many people disappointed in him. And the fact many more are defending him is a harsh reminder to Black people that nobody cares about us.

That’s the impact Joe Rogan’s use of the word has had. If you want to copy him, then fine. Scream out the n-word to your heart’s content. Just don’t expect to be looked at favorably afterward.

“Why is it okay for Black people to say it but not white people?”

I have a confession to make — my own language isn’t clean, either. My girl friends and I often call each other “b*tches,” or the b-word. We use it as a term of endearment. We use a word that’s often used against us and turn it around, making it positive.

But if a man were to approach us and say, “Hi, b*tches!” We would probably cuss him out.

Why? Because his use of the word isn’t coming from the same place as our use of the word. Typically, men use the b-word to insult women. That’s why some women choose to reclaim it.

The n-word is similar. When a white person uses it, it’s not coming from the same place where a Black person uses it.

Personally, I don’t use the word at all, and I choose to always censor it in my writing. I grew up in an all-white environment, where the only context in which I heard the word was as a pejorative. The word is so triggering to me, I can’t ever use it.

Every time I hear it from a white person, I flashback during the violent racial attacks I survived while living in that sundown town. My body and mind typically go numb to protect me from the pain I feel when I hear it from a white person. I dissociate.

However, I don’t have the same reaction when other Black people use the word because it’s not coming from the same place as when a white person uses it. Considering my personal history of the word, as well as the general history of it, I hear it differently from Black people than I do white people.

There are different reasons as to why Black people use the word, and it’s a hotly-debated topic within the African-American community as to whether it should be used at all. But considering it’s used against them, it’s their word to reclaim if they so choose.

It is a double-standard, but history has always been a double-standard, especially against Black people.

If you find all of this horribly unfair and want to yell out the n-word in protest, by all means, do it. But then Black people, including myself, will have a right to say what we think and feel about it.

“But my Black friend says it’s okay!”

Your Black friend is just one Black person. They don’t get to dictate how the rest of us feel about the word.

In my opinion, your Black friend is one messed-up individual, especially if they believe they speak for all Black people. However, Black people can have different boundaries when it comes to that word.

But even if your Black friend says it’s okay, why would you want to use the word anyway? Knowing its history, knowing its impact, and knowing that it’s deeply hurtful for other Black people, why in the world would you want to continue to use it?

If your friend said it’s totally okay to randomly punch Black people in the face, would you do it? Because that’s normally the effect the n-word has.

I find this to be a very silly excuse to use the word. But if having the approval of one Black person is good enough for you, then do it. However, don’t expect all Black people to approve.

The answer is yes, you can absolutely say it. In fact, if a white person has such a strong urge to say it, I would even encourage them to do so. Let it out. It makes it easier for me to judge them as the person they really are instead of playing into a facade.

I’ve never been a Joe Rogan fan, and with the current controversies about his podcast, I believe my judgment of him was correct. This montage of him repeatedly saying a word that dehumanizes me, my family, my friends, and the people I respect further validates my opinion.

My opinion is just one of many. But I’m certainly not alone in it.

You can rebel against my and others’ opinions all you want and use the word. But just know you might end up on an island, alone. Eventually, that’s what you get when you dehumanize others.

It’s also worth noting that certain types of speech and harassment are often not tolerated on online platforms like Medium. So if you were about to scream the word at me in the comments, know that you will be promptly reported and blocked.

Because words have consequences.