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When Breaking Up Means You Finally Have Peace

No more “fun and light” affair to remember

fPhoto by Jonathan Meyer on Unsplash

One woman wrote her story on r/adultery on “affair peace” after breaking up with her lover:

What breakup ‘peace’ feels like:

  1. I don’t have to check my email constantly because he wouldn’t tell me when I’d hear from him next.
  2. I don’t have to discuss how disrespected I felt when I didn’t get adequate advance notice of his availability (not that his schedule was busier than mine).
  3. I don’t miss plans that fit his horniness, not mine.
  4. I don’t have to wonder if, after specifying he had an hour or hour and a half free to see me, he’d make sure he’d leave promptly. Did he REALLY have a meeting coming up right after, or was that just an excuse to ensure I didn’t linger longer?
  5. I don’t miss him saying, ‘Blah, blah, blah….” Followed by, “Remember I told you about that,” knowing he must’ve told it to some other girlfriend and can’t keep his stories straight.
  6. I don’t miss how he would send a message in the morning to invite me over sometime that afternoon. If I didn’t get back to him within 20 minutes, he wouldn’t respond to my message the rest of the day (does he think I couldn’t figure out he invited someone else?).
  7. I don’t miss wondering why he never, after sex, showed interest in showering with me, lathering me. That level of intimacy wasn’t on his radar.
  8. Yes, the drinks and conversations before sex were nice, the sex was great, the hand holding and lying together after with our bodies commingled. Great, for that one hour.

But the rest of it sucked.

Fuck that he was a sexy, powerful, highly intelligent CEO. I last told him, ‘The entire time we saw each other, plans were unscheduled and so random. This took its toll on me.”

“I thought we were keeping this fun and light?!” he responded.

Fun and light.

Two of the worst words to tell a woman in an affair.

She wanted more than fun and light. She wanted respect and meaning. Not “true love,” certainly. She wasn’t that delusional. Not yet, at least.

What she didn’t need was blatant narcissism 101.

This, gentlemen, is objectification of a woman. An intentional lack of recognition of her humanity and, therefore, dignity. Deliberately treating her as an object, her being there for his pleasure rather than as a valued affair partner.

What men fail to realize in this “lifestyle” is that KEEPING a lover is harder than it looks. Women don’t want to feel like a hooker on call.

“Find someone less C-Suite, a lot more Main Street,” one Redditor suggested.

YES.

Corporate titans aren’t usually good people. They work on the Gordon Gekko “greed is good” philosophy. Not guys with many cuddles saved up for puppies or cute cat videos.

Power and jerky-ness go hand in hand.

One Redditor responded, “Enjoy the mental and emotional break, lady. It’ll be like a vacation for your soul. Take back your humanity. When you’re ready to go, find someone that likes you as a person first.”

There are good men out there in adultery land. She didn’t find one, unfortunately. More vetting next time, dear lady.

“Know your worth.”

Words to live by.

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Readers, tell me your “peace” after break-up stories in the comments.

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Breaking Up
Affairs
Cheating
Sex And Relationships
Peace Of Mind
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