When a Malignant Narcissist Loses

Hold on tight because we may be about to find out what this looks like

Malignant narcissists are notorious because they destabilize our world through manipulation, deceit and aggressive bullying and victimization. It is hard to have one of these individuals in our lives because we tend to interact with them as if they think, feel and act the same way we do. We often believe if we can just make them understand what they are doing they will have an “aha” moment, recognize the error of their ways and make amends.

The most difficult thing about interacting with a narcissist is accepting that they aren’t like us. They have no empathy and therefore are incapable of caring about others, lie and alter accounts of past events, have no qualms about hurting people to get what they want and covertly attack others just to make themselves feel superior. These individuals are toxic, and leave only human suffering in their wake.

There has been enough published by now that we recognize how dangerous these individuals are because their pathology is a pervasive pattern that motivates so much of their behavior. Because narcissistic traits are much more common than originally believed, most of us are aware of the general characteristics associated with this type of pathology. This includes an inflated sense of entitlement, grandiose superiority, delusions of perfection, a complete disregard for the truth, constant conniving and scheming to take advantage of others, feeling that rules and laws don’t apply to them, cruelty and the need to demean others. These characteristics can have devastating consequences for those who interact with them.

Because it is impossible to maintain a perfect image in a social setting where you cannot completely control everyone, narcissists constantly worry about losing the power they have over others. Whenever they sense threat to their power which would could lead to their self-doubt surfacing, they will panic.

What Causes a Narcissist to Panic?

This exaggerated self-importance which is not based on real achievement is destructive for the narcissist and people around him. It’s like building a giant sand castle too close to the water. One wave and down it goes. The larger the narcissist’s social circle the more likely it is that their misdeeds will be discovered. The threat of discovery that challenges their larger than life self-perception can cause them to panic. The more the image they are trying to maintain is a façade, the more likely they are to panic. When a malignant narcissist panics they can become extremely dangerous.

It doesn’t take much for a narcissist to panic. Some of the things that will lead to this reaction are:

1. Defeat — No one likes being defeated but narcissists absolutely dread it. Even a small defeat like losing in an argument is unacceptable for them. Defeat means that they are being rejected, which threatens their belief that they are superior to every one else.
2. Losing control — Narcissists want to be able to exercise control over everyone in their life. Losing control means they can’t control the narrative and that others might discover their flaws and bad behavior. If there seems to be a loss of control over something or someone in their life a narcissist will tighten the reigns and take actions to re-establish it. If this isn’t possible, they will try to destroy the individual attacking them covertly to prevent the person from being able to defend themselves.
3. Criticism — Since criticizing someone communicates that they are wrong in some way, criticism is not only unacceptable but it can also lead to negative consequences in the process of denying it. Criticizing a narcissist in a situation that they are not able to defend themselves really frightens them and this is when they will pull out all the stops to prevent their fragile ego from coming to the service.
4. Confrontation — Confronting a narcissists takes criticism one step further by calling them on their bad behavior and expecting them to take responsibility. This is a major threat to their self-esteem and they will not only deny whatever it is you are accusing them of but also likely punish you.

In many cases, these four things go hand in hand. When a narcissist is defeated this means they have lost control of their life and those in it. Loss of control often means that they can no longer completely maintain the illusion of perfection and others come to see them as they are resulting in criticism and depending on how bad their abuses, potentially confrontation. They have failed and their world, and self-image, crumbles. This eventuality is perceived to be intolerable, so there is almost nothing they won’t do to prevent failure.

Malignant Narcissists Will Usually Fail

Narcissists can be unbelievably charming and convincing at first. They know exactly how to act to convince others how wonderful they are and to get people to enter into relationships with them. They will spoil and pamper you, shower you with affection and flattery. They also display other attractive characteristics such as seeming self -confidence and charisma. They know exactly how to adjust their rhetoric and criticism of others to fit with what they assess to be acceptable in the eyes of others whose attention and admiration they want.

However, in time, their pathology usually ensures their downfall. Due to their inability to accept responsibility for anything they do wrong, their belief that they don’t have to follow the same rules and laws as others, and the idea that whatever they need to do to get what they want is justified, they will eventually fail.

What Happens When a Narcissist Fails?

As noxious as malignant narcissists are when things are going well for them, that’s nothing compared to what happens when they fail. When failure of some sort is inevitable, all narcissists handle it much differently than the rest of us, as they are not introspective or capable of reform, and they lacking in empathy for others.

Malignant narcissist however, react in a way that can be dangerous for anyone in their sphere of influence. When this sphere is constructed of an entire country and they hold the highest office in the land, this danger can become frightening as there is little they won’t do to prevent their self-doubt and lack of self-esteem into consciousness. There are some predictable reactions from a narcissist whose self-esteem is threatened or who fears they may be losing control and are heading for defeat.

The first thing they usually do is to deny. They will falsely claim that everything is fine, that there is nothing wrong and claim that there is nothing to the allegations, quickly misdirecting people’s attention. If evidence is provided, they will do whatever they can to invalidate it or claim it is fake or the result of a conspiracy. Those providing the evidence will be attacked aggressively and vindictively.

If the narcissist has power over the person, they will use it to hurt these individuals by firing them, bullying and humiliating them or destroying their reputation. They will use supporters to also attack those who try to prove any misdoings on the narcissist’s part. Blame will be projected onto those making the accusations and they will also heap blame onto whoever else they can to take the attention off of themselves.

As things continue to devolve, their lies increase and are repeated endlessly. They will paint themselves in the most glowing light, taking credit for things others have done and rewriting history to further support their perfection and superiority. New lies will be created to try to prevent further erosion of their support and success. Since they are facing failure and/or public humiliation the lies will become audacious to the point of disbelief.

The narcissist will imperil others by demanding that their supporters lie for them, create alibies, take the blame or even break the law. They will throw anyone under the bus to avoid defeat or having their indiscretions revealed. In their desperation they may begin to unravel, to the point they seem delusional or possibly psychotic.

When it becomes clear that there is nothing they can do to prevent defeat and the negative consequences that their behavior will engender, the malignant narcissist can become truly dangerous. If they are going down, they are determined to take everyone else with them making sure others suffer as much as possible.

The manner in which the narcissist accomplishes this goal and lashing out to destroy others, is only limited by their creativity, depravity and the tools or weapons that are available to them. They will turn to the internet and social media, and potentially use other more traditional weapons, though putting them in others’ hands to be able to claim innocence after the fact. A

ll the while as they face certain failure, arrest, indictment, or dismissal, they will continuously air their accusations, projected blame and general grievances. They will play the victim claiming they’ve been relentlessly and wrongly persecuted. They will expect their lawyers and supporters to echo whatever false claim they put forth in the most subservient manner.

For a malignant narcissist, when there is an all-encompassing loss, such as the loss of an election, it can lead to a rampage of destruction and terrorism in revenge for being failed by the entire country.

A malignant narcissist in command of a country who suffers that kind of loss, and who has the power to command security organizations, other parts of the government, the military, the financial sector and the courts as well as the media, there is no telling where their vindictiveness may end or how they may be brought under control to limit the harm they can do.

One thing is for certain, though. Should claims be made that only the narcissist can fix things and only their grand vision for the future will solve humanities problems requiring them to stay on, it should give everyone, detractors and supporters alike, pause. In case you believe this to be overly dramatic, this was the exact argument once used by an Austrian corporal who won office on the platform of making Germany great again.

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