What’s Your Reality?

What do you choose to see? The facts will always be somewhere in between peace and war, joy and pain, hope and despair.

This is my farm two days after the bushfires. What do you see? Do you see devastation and despair? 95% of my land burned to ashes. Or do you see hope and feel gratitude? My home and my little garden got saved. (Photo by Author)

As some of you are aware, my farm burned into ashes on Halloween. It was a very stressful experience, but it also provided many great opportunities to learn and grow.

Those who know me know that I’m a very optimistic person. In any situation, I will find something to be happy about, something that gives me hope and strength and protects my mental health. Yes, I know, I’m lucky; I went through hell for so long that I had the best opportunity to train myself to perfection in finding blessings in disasters.

My positive attitude, however, has some downside. Occasionally, it puts me in situations where some grumpy Grinches get annoyed with my ever-so-bright spirit and will use any opportunity to try to hurt me with their sharp and nasty comments. (Quite silly, really, as I just use this as the next opportunity to train my resilience).

My farm was turned into ashes, almost all my gardens burned, and I had no pasture for my cattle. BUT my cattle and all my pets survived, my home was saved, and we got rain two days after the fires. (Photo by Author)

Anyway, after the fires, as usual, I was trying to find all the reasons why this actually was a blessing, and again, I heard, “You are too stupid to see the reality”. Yes, really? I do not see the reality?

This inspired me to write this article. What is the reality? All photos in this article were taken on the same day, on the same property, and some even at the same spot, just in different directions.

What do you see in these photos? Do all the images show devastation and ruins? Or, looking at some, you wouldn’t even know it was taken on a burned-down property.

We can look at all that we have lost… (This is my farm and two neighbouring farms. As you can see, not much was saved; it looks rather scary. Imagine all the wildlife that paid with their lives for some human’s negligence… Photo by Author)

A few points from the “painful reality”

Plenty of wildlife lost their lives (including my beautiful big echidna, possums, a few kangaroos, dozens of turtles and plenty of others) in the fire caused by human neglect. Yep, someone was welding on a day with extreme fire danger and a total fire ban. And to make it worse, when the fire took off, the person jumped into their Ute and drove off without informing anyone.

Most of my gardens, the reward of hard work from George and myself for 14 years, burned into dust. Everything (except the patch in front of my house) turned into dead black patches. Beautiful trees that George was looking forward to enjoying in the autumn of his life are dead, and they can’t be “just replaced” because it takes time for them to grow. And George is already 71…

All my fences burned down, and taking into account that I have over 3 km of fences, replacing them would cost tens of thousands of dollars, which I don’t have. And my farm wasn’t insured because I can’t afford it (only the house is insured, not even the content). I don’t know what to do with my fences; I just “temporarily fix them” and hope for the best.

My friend’s shed and his boat were completely destroyed.

I will finish here with the negative, as this makes me feel depressed. I prefer to concentrate on the positive.

… or we can start turning around looking for some hope and see these, what was saved… (a boat, a water tank, and one shed waiting to be erected got destroyed by the fires, but my other sheds and the tractor got saved. Photo by Author)

A few points from the “joyful reality”

No person died or got injured in the fires. All my pets survived, and my wonderful neighbour saved my cattle.

My home and all my buildings were saved. I don’t need to replace all my wardrobe; I didn’t lose any of my precious photos, memorabilia, or material things that can’t be replaced because… they aren’t about money (like the old Bible handed down for generations I got from George’s mum). It made me appreciate what I have more and not take it for granted.

My relationship with my neighbours strengthened; I met new wonderful people and struck up new friendships. Remember, in times of need, we learn who our true friends are, and I discovered that plenty of people around me are ready to support and help me when I need them.

The burned bush gives me the opportunity to do some clearing and gain more land for pastures. Also, because all the enormous logs lying on the ground for decades got burned, I can more easily do some additional breaks in the bush to prevent future fires from getting out of control and threatening my or my neighbour’s properties.

We need to keep turning around until our eyes rest on the tiny bit of green grass that gives us hope, the bit where we can see life that got saved, where we can see that miracles do happen, regardless of how small they happen. (Grateful for my neighbor who saved my pets; they are traumatized but alive without injuries. Photo by Author)

The ashes became nutrients for the new growth. After the rains, the grass started to grow fast, and my cattle would have plenty of excellent yummy fodder. Similarly, most of the native trees that survived are growing new fresh leaves, which, in a few months, will make the area look beautiful. And all this without spreading any fertilizer!

The situation gave me the opportunity to learn more about myself and how to support others (like George) when I was pushed to the limits, too. It also blessed me with the lucky chance to practice patience, resilience, and gratitude even more. It is easy to be happy when everything goes well. But it is an art of living to be able to smile, stay calm and kind, and have a heart filled with hope and faith while facing the worst nightmare.

You can stand there, cry about the pain and cruelty, lament that life isn’t fair… (All the black is my farm; the greenery you can see is my various neighbors. Photo by Author)

So what is the reality? How do you see my reality?

Do you see me as someone blessed with good luck or cursed by bad luck? I believe we create our own reality… The reality doesn’t have much to do with the so-called “facts” in our life but with our mindset, what we want to see, and what we want to focus on.

Life is life; it is a mix of the good and the bad, joy and pain, laughter and cries, peace and war. We will never have one without the other. We can’t, not only because the law of nature created this world for us that way, but because… we only appreciate what we have lost, what is outside of our reach… And also, we came to this world to learn and grow, and we can’t do it without experiencing all possible aspects of life.

Or you can zoom in on the tiny bit of greenery that gives hope and fills your heart with relief and gratitude instead of hatred, bitterness, and pain. Would you even think this photo was taken on the same day, almost in the same place as the above photo? (Photo by Author)

It’s our choice if we want to concentrate and see what we possess or if we want to cry over what we have lost. None of these attitudes will change our reality at that given moment, but it will change how we feel about it right at that moment.

And, in the long term, a positive attitude will make us concentrate on our goals and dreams, finding ways how we can achieve our aspirations, and through this, we will create a better reality for ourselves and for those around us (most people like to surround themselves with people who make them feel good)

Some say animals are stupid. Yeah, right. So, while the vast majority of humans would dwell and lament about the 95% of the land that burned (dwell on all the bad in their lives), my cows concentrated on finding the tiniest patches of green grass to fill their bellies (they did what helped them to get through the difficult times). Who is the stupid one? The cows or us humans? (Photo by Author)

When we dwell on the dark moments that stroke us, that caused us pain and misery, then… this will also be our future… Our thoughts create our reality…

We often wander through life, seeing all the pain and distractions around us, but we forget that focusing on the bad won’t help us get through the pain and improve our situation. In our minds, we always need to focus on our goal, our destination. My cow, Faith, knows where she is going — to get a drink of water and find better pastures. (Photo by Author)

I know that there is a lot of pain and devastation in the world; I know about the horrible actions of some countries’ leaders leading to mass killings of innocent civilians dying in the wars in Ukraine, Palestine, and other countries. I know about the children dying of hunger on the African continent, and I know about a lot of pain in Western countries, too.

But if I dwell every day on all the evil in the world, if I let this make me angry and full of hatred and fill my heart with rage and bitterness, it won’t help anyone. I just introduce more loathing into the already hurt world.

In all the torment and devastation, there is always hope. Faith found water and even some greenery (she is standing at the dam; when you look closely, you will see her. Photo by Author)

Therefore, looking at the bright side and staying positive and hopeful in times of despair will help me improve not only my own reality but also that of all those surrounding me. When I smile, those around me start smiling too. I can bring joy to those around me. I can’t stop the wars in the world, but I can make the day of my neighbor or a colleague at work a little bit brighter just by keeping a positive mindset and being kind to them.

Would you think this photo was taken in an area struck by disaster? Remember, there is always hope; there is always some tiny blessing that gives us strength to go on. Sometimes, however, we need to focus, zoom in and filter out all the distractions. (Photo by Author)

What is your reality? What do you see in your life? Do you concentrate on all the pain that the world is causing you, or are you filling your heart with gratitude for the tiniest blessings you are gifted with? Do you spend hours worrying and whinging about the destruction and pain you saw on TV thousands of kilometers away from you, or do you stretch your hand out to those around you, giving them a helping hand, hope, and faith in humanity?

For those who are interested in the fires I went through, my experience and the life lessons I’ve learned you can find the stories in the list below

Bushfires, It's Learnings and Hidden Blessings

In November 2023 I got affected by devastating bushfires. This disaster gave me many opportunities to learn and grow…

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