Summary

The article discusses the journey of self-discovery and the realization of one's true value beyond societal and personal definitions of success and failure.

Abstract

The author reflects on the struggle with their own thoughts and the societal pressures that contribute to a misguided sense of self-worth. They identify various mental "radio stations" that perpetuate negative narratives, such as feelings of isolation, fear, and ego-identification. The article emphasizes the importance of awakening from the "delusional dream" that one's worth is tied to external achievements or failures. Through personal trials, including health issues and financial debt, the author learns that their true value is not defined by life's circumstances. Drawing on experiences of those who have had near-death experiences, the author suggests that unconditional love, compassion, learning, and service are foundational to one's core beliefs and sense of worth. The article concludes with introspective questions aimed at fostering a more loving, compassionate, and service-oriented life.

Opinions

The author believes that one's thinking brain, with its various negative narratives, is the biggest obstacle to realizing true self-worth.
Suffering is seen as a result of buying into the illusion that one is the sum of all the messages from their mind.
The author asserts that personal value is not diminished by life's trials, such as illness, divorce, or financial hardship.
There is a strong opinion that societal expectations, like the ability to support a family for a man to be considered a good husband, are not accurate measures of personal worth.
The author endorses the view that even in the face of adversity, one can still contribute positively to the world, as illustrated by the quote from "Queer Eye."
The article suggests that experiences of near-death survivors, who often return with a renewed focus on love, compassion, and service, can teach us about our true value.
The author encourages readers to actively seek ways to be more loving, compassionate, and to serve others, as a path to understanding their own worth.

What’s Your Net Worth?

Photo by Kristin Brown, Image displayed on Upsplash

Today is trash day.

Here is some of the junk in my head that needs to be dumped.

My biggest hurdle to being awake to my true self has been my thinking brain. It operates like multiple radio stations in my head.

One is the ‘lonesome me’ channel where I bemoan my isolation from others.

Another is the ‘frightened’ channel that recites all the horror stories from the world around. It’s not the story on the radio that scares us. It’s what our mind does with the story.

And then there is the station that’s all about my ego identification. It blasts away the message ‘you are your performance’ or ‘you are the approval from others’.

All these channels have two things in common.

They cause suffering and sustain the illusion that I am the sum of all the messages from my mind. And that illusion puts us in a dream like state. No wonder some say that life on this earth for most is a dream and not ultimate reality.

I had to wake up from this delusional dream and learn that I am more than my most dramatic failures or stellar success. The most powerful message that has come my way in recent days is,

You are not that

That will never be my truth or path.

The Pew Research Center reported in 2017 that 71 percent of Americans thought “being able to support a family” was important to a man being a good husband.

Retirement often introduces a down tick in one’s income earning ability. I also no longer have or want high level consulting assignments on my calendar.

Does that mean that I’ve lost my value as a person?

A couple of decades ago I was at the tail end of a long meltdown.

My ‘organ recital’ included depression (for which I was treated medically), disease (my cancer and my son’s schizophrenia), death (both my parents), painful divorce, and a nasty debt (from my son’s frequent hospitalizations).

The thought I had to eject was that I am not the sum of all my accidents. I did not ignore these incidents by going into major denial.But I had to see them for what they really were. Trials but not the truth about my value as a person. I was not some stock that crashed in value during a recession.

My trials were informative but did not determine my well-being. I love the quip from the TV series “Queer Eye” that

Even a broken crayon can still color.

A variety of friends and family coaxed me off the ledge of my small miserable self. They helped me realize the truth articulated by the poet Rumi,

“You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens”

As such beliefs slowly began to crumble I began to ask

Where then does my true value lie?

Folks who have had near death experiences often come back from their crisis with a rearranged view of their core beliefs. These include;

unconditional love, compassion, learning, service

I ask myself the following questions as I try to color the picture of my life with my broken crayons

How can I be a more loving person (And that includes my enemies)?
Where do I have opportunity to show compassion (including to myself)?
How can I be a Bodhisattva which means an “awakening being”. It refers to any person that is brave and willing to walk on the path of wakefulness?
Where am I being called to serve? Who will you fight for and what will you risk?