Summary

The article discusses the importance of mindfulness and being present in the moment, particularly in the context of motherhood, as highlighted by the author's inability to answer her daughter's simple question due to being distracted by multitasking and the demands of daily life.

Abstract

In "What’s Your Favorite Object?," the author recounts a moment of realization prompted by her daughter's innocent question amidst her own busy schedule. Initially irritated by the interruption, the author's struggle to name a favorite object exposes the pitfalls of a constantly distracted mind, a condition the author likens to "hamsters on a wheel." The article reflects on how the pandemic has similarly disrupted routines, leading to feelings of disorientation and irritability. Through introspection, the author identifies several objects that could qualify as favorites, yet the initial inability to identify any speaks to the broader issue of how daily tasks and technological distractions consume our attention, leaving little room for mindfulness and meaningful engagement with loved ones. The author acknowledges her own shortcomings in being fully present for her daughter and resolves to embrace mindfulness to cherish the fleeting moments of her child's growth. The article concludes with an encouragement for readers to step off the "hamster wheel" and engage with the present, emphasizing that life unfolds in the now, not in an ever-elusive future.

Opinions

The author believes that constant multitasking and technological distractions lead to a cluttered mind, preventing us from enjoying life's simple pleasures and being mindful.
She criticizes the modern tendency to overload our routines with "BUSY work," which detracts from the quality of our interactions with family, especially children.
The author expresses regret for not being fully present for her daughter at times, acknowledging the importance of cherishing the present moments of childhood before they pass.
She suggests that the pandemic has served as a reminder of how disrupting our routine can lead to negative emotions, highlighting society's dependence on constant activity.
The author advocates for the adoption of mindfulness practices to counteract the "distracted state of mind" and to improve the quality of life and relationships.

What’s Your Favorite Object?

A lesson in motherhood and mindfulness.

Photo Credit: Chuckanut Bay, Washington State/Author

What’s your favorite object? Was a matter-of-fact question my daughter asked, one evening while doing her homework. Her study space in my home office, so interruptions like these are common. I’m her instant mommy-Google, word dictionary, story listener, and so on. Did I mention she’s eleven and has a gift of the gab?

Back to her question, “Mommy, what’s your favorite object?”

My first instinct was irritation for her total lack of concern that I was in the middle of my work, multitasking between accounting and working on some purchase orders. These kids!

She was persistent. “Mommy, what’s your favorite object, just name any object?”

This time I snapped, not from annoyance but from embarrassment because I couldn’t think of any object to respond to her simple question.

Blank, nil, nada, nothing came to mind. It got me even more agitated, and I replied with a perfect mommy-cover-up, “I can’t answer your question at this minute, I’m BUSY!”

It was a cop-out. My head was fuming with rage that I couldn’t think of ONE measly favorite object.

It’s called the distracted ‘Multitasking Mind’. Our mind is always switched-on and cluttered with thoughts, busy activities, and technological distractions. So we’ve forgotten how to spend a quiet minute of mindfulness, to answer a child’s simple question!

“Like hamsters on a wheel, we spin mechanically from one task to another. If we’re taken off our routine-wheel, we feel disoriented and irritable. Doesn’t this remind you of how we felt when the pandemic hit and we were yanked off our hamster-life-routine to hunker down at home? We were angry, lost, and grouchy.”

After pondering over her question, I realized the answer could be any of these choices.

1. My Yoga Mat - On which I love to begin most mornings.

2. The Nutri Bullet -That I use to whip up breakfast concoctions.

3. The heated back massager -That relaxes my sore back.

4. The darn phone - Attached to the hip and connects me to the world.

All these fall into my favorite object category. But at that moment, and hours beyond, NOTHING came to mind. Talk about brain fog.

This is what we’ve done to ourselves. The humdrum of life is sucking us in like a vortex and whirling us around in a confused haze.

We fill our days with endless “To-do” lists and life’s simplicities are lost in oblivion.

I’ve caught myself doing this in other areas too.

The times when I’m so preoccupied with my own thoughts that my daughter’s conversations fall to deaf ears. “Mommy, are you listening to what I just said???” No, I’m checked out. Sadly true.

The times when she wants a hug, but I’m so busy crunching numbers, shuttling between home and work activities, and emotionally unavailable. Pathetically true.

The times when she is just being a kid, bothering me about something, and I yell to dismiss her. Shamefully true.

Yes, mothering is tough, and no one is perfect. However, when it comes to simple day-to-day life, we are ALL guilty of overloading our mind and routine with BUSY work.

I find myself trapped in a distracted state of mind often and detest the results. My child needs a mother, who is present, not someone who is living in the future.

Children grow up way too fast. I’ve seen my girl grow from a diaper baby to a pre-teen in a few blinks. She will not need me as much in a few years, and then I’ll ache for her child-like presence.

They say change begins with acceptance. I’m ready to adopt mindfulness NOW. Hope you do the same.

The next time, your child/friend/partner/parent interrupts you to ask a simple question, get off the hamster wheel and spend a few minutes enjoying the present moment with them.

A wise person once said, life happens in the present moment, not in some unforeseen future, we constantly strive to attain. Stay present!